Agolf Shitler is still running the show, because his hypocrisy knows no limits
If you can't baffle 'em with substance, why not dazzle 'em with bullshit?
(A flashback to a time when men were men and sheep were nervous. It was a time when America was great and shit got done…sort of. Take a trip with me in the wayback machine to a better, more serious time- February 2024, to be precise.
And the title comes to us, in part, thanks to reader Kevin King.)
Old men shout at clouds…clouds respond, tell them to go fornicate themselves. Film at 11.
There's an old saying in Tennessee — I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee — that says, fool me once, shame on — shame on you. Fool me — you can't get fooled again.
George W. Bush
The problem with catering to the lowest common denominator, is that when society goes and lowers the bar, some idiot turns it into a limbo contest.
Kyu Wolf
It’s been clear since Joe Biden took the Oath of Office that Republicans have no genuine interest in fixing the problems that exist on our southern border. They’d rather use immigration and the border as a cudgel with which to pound the President. They’ve had multiple opportunities to agree on bipartisan solutions that may (or may not) have worked…and yet they refuse to grab the brass ring.
The problem is that Republicans never seem to be able to take “YES” for an answer. The border is but one and perhaps the most easily understandable option. The border as a campaign issue has proven too tasty to give up, like not wanting to give up your best weapon before going into battle.
Except that the ammunition in this battle is people- hopelessly poor and downtrodden Brown People. These are desperate asylum seekers and refugees seeking a new life for themselves and their families. The despair and privations these people have suffered to make it to our southern border (and continue to suffer once there) is something I can’t imagine. Yet they’re regarded by most Republicans as things, bargaining chips in a grand and heartless game.
#FJB
WASHINGTON ― For months, Republicans have shouted from the rooftops about a migrant crisis at the U.S.-Mexico border and how President Joe Biden needs to act to address it, insisting the flow of migrants is an urgent national security threat.
Now many on the right are urging their party to reject the very same things they said were needed to fix the problem, including tougher enforcement measures and a proposal to automatically shut down border crossings when it is overwhelmed. Instead, they appear set on impeaching the top Cabinet official in charge of the border, even though there is no evidence of a crime.
It’s the usual GOP approach- impeach first, find evidence of “high crimes and misdemeanors” as they go. Because he must have done something, right? Why else would they be impeaching him?
Even as they were trying to impeach him, a movement that seems to be dying quietly and in a manner Congressional Republicans hopes no one (especially the press) will not, Secretary Mayorkas was in the room. He was still do his job, still trying to negotiate a resolution to the Republican-created impasse.
It was Republicans who had their thumbs up their backsides at the command of Trumple Thinskin, who cares only about having a campaign issue he can use against “Sleepy Joe.”
Says the man who’s been falling asleep in a Manhattan courtroom.
The GOP’s contortions aren’t just grating for Democrats but also on some conservative Republicans who have been deeply involved in crafting bipartisan legislation, which is expected to be unveiled soon, that would overhaul how migrants are processed at the border.
“It is interesting. Republicans four months ago... locked arms together and said, ‘We’re not going to give you money for this. We want a change in law,’” Sen. James Lankford (R-Okla.), the GOP’s lead negotiator on a deal pairing immigration changes with assistance to Ukraine and other allies, said on “Fox News Sunday.”
“A few months later, when we’re finally getting to the end, they’re like, ‘Oh, just kidding. I actually don’t want a change in law because it’s a presidential election year,’” he added.
The goalposts keep moving because Republicans, at Donald Trump's behest, have no intention of agreeing on the border, immigration reform, or anything else of substance that might be construed as a “victory” for Joe Biden. They view an agreement as a net positive for President Biden, something that would only harm Donny Diaperfull in an election year. And so they continue to play the “Joe Biden refuses to fix the southern border” card.
So what’s a President to do? He wants to fix the border, which is what Republicans also say they want. Because playing politics is more important to them than solving problems, the GOP consistently refuses to take “yes” for an answer.
Meanwhile, House Speaker Mike Johnson (R-LA) continues going on the Sunday morning talk shows and lying about what’s being done to fix the border. Speaker Johnson, a Christofascist authoritarian of the first order, is a shameless liar who’s proven himself devoid of integrity. He’s an extension of Donald Trump who runs every action through Orange Jesus beforehand. He’ll ensure that precisely NOTHING gets done to fix the border before the election.
Remind me again why people vote for Republicans. These people are the WORST.
Meanwhile, while Speaker Johnson and the rest of the House Republicans Caucus are busy playing with themselves, the American Sheeple are taking things into their own hands.
BECAUSE PATRIOTS GET SHIT DONE!!
after listening for months to yammering blowhards on Fox News and Newsmax telling them that brown-skinned commie hordes were streaming by the millions across Sleepy Brandon’s open borders and coming to their home towns to steal their jobs and get their sisters hooked on fentanyl, these credulous numb-nuts decided to it was time to get all pro-active and shit.
we’re going down to the border, they announced, and we’re going to fuck these migrants up.
they were going down to Eagle Pass in Texas, the site of Greg Abbott’s I AM THE LAW civil-war-cosplay hissy fit, and they were going take matters into their own hands and open up a fresh can of vigilante whup-ass on these swarthy border-crossers.
I’ll drown these illegals with my own two hands if I have to!
‘Cuz, as any good, God-fearing, White Conservative Christian Cisgender Heterosexual will tell you, America belongs to them. Not to illegal Brown People who want to sneak into this country and steal jobs from decent, hard-working ‘Mericans.
Like Juan from Guatemala is sneaking across the Rio Grande to take that fruit-picking job you wanted so badly….
they promised that a convoy of 700,000 patriotic truckers would mass along Rio Grande and shut that open-border shit right the fuck down — but as with anything planned and executed by these morons, it was a craptastic clown-show.
That convoy of 700,000 furious patriots that was going to descend on Eagle Pass, TX? Yeah…it was a wee bit smaller than that.
Truthfully, it was nowhere near 700,000. It was more like the South Texas Home for Deranged Republicans emptied its beds and promised residents there would be free hookers and blow. But even that couldn’t convinced anywere near a majority of the residents to head for Eagle Pass.
Why? Because anyone who’s been to Eagle Pass, TX, in March knows it’s a shit hole, that’s why.
Of course, I wasn’t bright enough to major in Math; I majored in History and Anthropology. But even I could tell that 19 is a fair bit less than 700,000…by about 699,981 if my math holds up. But don’t quote me on that; you might want to double-check my work. After all, I’m a writer, not a mathematician.
As generally happens with just about anything organized by Right-wingers with 10th-grade edumications (that’s a generous estimate), there was a certain clusterfuck element to all of this. The people who got into the traveling roadshow thinking they were going to Eagle Pass? Well, they didn’t quite end up there.
After picking up some additional stragglers., about 50 vehicles arrived at a parking lot outside Houston- 336 miles from Eagle Pass. That’s like thinking you’re going to Los Vegas for the weekend and ending up in East Carbon, the much acclaimed “ugliest small town in Utah.”
The convoy arrives and the organizer breaks the news to people that they actually aren't going to the border like they were told, instead they were going to a “children’s ranch” where they were going to “have prayer,” and exercise their first amendment rights by having a “redress of grievances against an out of control federal government.” He tells them that since God is in control, he can’t exactly tell them what it’s going to look like when they get down there.
wait, what? who is this dipshit? what’s he telling us? that we’re not going to the border and we’re not going to drown us some illegals and instead we’re going to some stupid prayer meeting?
no, fuck this shit and fuck it hard, declared the most-hard-core of the convoy, we’re going down to Eagle Pass and no god-bothering asshole is going to stop us.
so off went a handful of the dumbest — and when they finally arrived at the Pass, they were shocked to discovered that there were more vigilantes than there were migrants.
Guess what, y’all? You got grifted again!! But at least you got to see Sarah Palin before you were separated from a whole bunch of your money, right?
Ted Nugent made an appearance. He even demonstrated how he made a living in rock music despite (barely) being fluent with only three chords. He also announced that his next album, Fake It Until You Make It, will be available on the NRA’s website on May 1st. The first song to be released, Songs About Orgasms (I never had) is now available on iTunes.
Sorry…I might have referred to him as a “musician” for a second instead of his correct title- “desperately delusional booger speck on the windshield of life.”
These noobs are unfamiliar with the “There’s a sucker born every minute” theory, which is why they’re so easily played whenever an issue like this comes around.
It’s amazing these fools have any money left. I would’ve thought they’d have sent it all to Donald Trump or Pat Robertson (and he’s been dead since the Reagan Administration) by now.
mind you, this isn’t the first time MAGA “truckers” have beclowned themselves in front of the entire world.
a couple of years ago, a convoy of trucker fucksticks headed to Washington DC to protest covid restrictions that had already been lifted (logic is not a MAGA strong suit). they planned on heading down to Capitol Hill for a show of force, but instead they got stuck in rush-hour traffic on the beltway, became dispirited, and went home.
The May 2022 convoy ended up decamped to a parking lot in Hagerstown, MD, where QAnon disciples descended, RJK Jr.’s anti-Fauci books were given away (he couldn’t sell them), food was eaten, beer was drunk, songs were sung, arguments and fights ensued, guns appeared, and absolutely nothing was accomplished. They drove around in circles on the beltway, were cursed out by commuters for clogging up traffic, and then it finally fizzled out and dispersed.
keep in mind that this entire border “crisis” has been manufactured by GOP leadership in order to give Agolf Shitler an issue — something besides “I don’t want to die in prison” — to campaign on.
There really is a sucker born every minute, and every time one of these issues comes around, it’s like Groundhog Day all over again. They learn no lessons from their previous embarrassment, so they travel down the same old rabbit hole again.
It’s as predictable as it is lucrative for the prominent Republicans who know how to milk the suckers. Yes, a fool and his money are soon be parted; that’s what grifters like Donald Trump and Sarah Palin are counting on.
It’s a gravy train that will never stop running because there’s no shortage of gullible, moronic believers willing to drain their bank accounts in the service of stupidity.
As long as Fox News remains popular, stupid will remain a bumper crop.
Yay, AmeriKKKa!!!
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Hey, thanks for the mention. Happy to inspire!
"That’s like thinking you’re going to Los Vegas for the weekend and ending up in East Carbon" -- Now there's an image that will stick!