And He's Gonna Break Her Heart To Pieces; She Don't Wanna Know

Why "She's A Woman in Love (It's Not Me)" is the greatest rock and roll song of all time

If you came of age in the late ‘70s and early ‘80s as I did, you undoubtedly heard a lot of Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers on your radio. Petty was a staple on FM radio, starting with his first hit single, “Don’t Do Me Like That,” in 1979 and continuing into the 2010s.

I first saw Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers in concert during the summer between my freshman and sophomore years in college in 1979. The last time I saw them was at Safeco Field in Seattle on August 19, 2017. Little did we know that it was one of Petty’s final shows and that six weeks later, on October 2, 2017, he would die from an overdose of several drugs. He’d suffered a fractured hip while on tour but insisted on continuing despite the pain. Then he suffered a heart attack on October 1 and was told his hip had deteriorated into a full-on break.

Petty later went into full cardiac arrest and was eventually taken off life support by his family. Unfortunately, he died shortly after that. He was 18 days short of his 67th birthday, and suddenly all the world had left of him was his music.

There was a certain Bob Dylan-like quality to his voice and music, and he and Dylan collaborated quite a bit. One of my favorite concert memories is seeing them doing “Knockin’ on Heaven’s Door” together at Portland’s Civic Stadium (now Providence Park) in 1986 on Dylan’s “True Confessions” Tour.

But, before I go off on a tangent and get all misty with nostalgia, which I could easily do, I’m going to reel myself back to what I’m here to do. That’s to make the case that “She’s A Woman in Love (It’s Not Me”) is the greatest rock and roll song of all time. Yes, greater even than Cheap Trick’s “I Want You To Want Me” from their “Live at Budokan” album.

Of course, I realize this is a highly subjective argument, and I might get some pushback from my readers. So be it; that’s the nature of the beast. The great thing about this debate is that there’s one correct answer but no wrong one. Another’s choice may be close to being every bit as sound, and their argument nearly every bit as valid as mine. Just don’t expect to change my mind, ‘cuz it’s not going to happen, capice??

“A Woman in Love (It's Not Me)” wasn’t one of Tom Petty’s biggest hits. It was released in late June 1981 as the second single from his band’s “Hard Promises” album. Co-written with bandmate and guitarist Mike Campbell, “A Woman in Love (It’s Not Me)” never made it above #79 in the American Billboard Top 100.

Popularity is seldom the sole criterion for a well-crafted song. Some of the world’s best songs are by no means the most popular. But, “A Woman in Love (It’s Not Me)” has aged well, and it stands in 2022 as it did in 1981, when we lived in a very different world.

The lack of commercial success for “A Woman in Love (It’s Not Me)” may have more to do with poor timing than with the song itself.

TOM PETTY and the Heartbreakers’ “A Woman in Love (It’s Not Me)” was released as the second single from HARD PROMISES in June 1981. With its soft verses and thundering chorus, the song seemed destined for a high placement on the chart, but it stalled at No. 79.

That may have had something to do with another song the band released less than two weeks later: “STOP DRAGGIN’ MY HEART AROUND,” a collaboration with STEVIE NICKS from her debut solo album, BELLA DONNA. Petty was competing with himself.

According to the singer and songwriter, “A Woman in Love” would have been more successful if the two songs had been released further apart. “I’m sure of it,” he said in the 2005 book CONVERSATIONS WITH TOM PETTY. “‘Cause they came out roughly the same time, and Stevie’s record was huge. And so it was an awkward position for us because it was billed as ‘Stevie Nicks With Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers,’ and a lot of the radio programmers didn’t want to have two Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers songs around the same period. Especially while one was getting this extreme amount of airplay. So it was a little awkward for us.”

In the end, Petty was pleased with the minimalist nature of the song. The chords were mostly Mike Campbell’s, and they worked well, so he didn’t mess with them. He brought in bassist Duck Dunn of Booker T. & the M.G.’s. to provide the bass line. Petty loved Dunn’s work so much that

we just had [drummer] Stanley [Lynch] keeping time very quietly and nothing else. And that kind of made the song.

The beauty of “A Woman in Love (It’s Not Me)” is that it’s a solidly produced rock and roll song. It doesn’t assault you with over-produced guitar, bass, or drum tracks that cover for weak lyrical content, poorly constructed bridges, or half-assed chord transitions. Instead, everything about the song is solid.

Even the bridge, which provides an optimistic tone for “A Woman in Love (It’s Not Me),” eventually leads the listener back to the song’s underlying theme of abandonment and sorrow.

Unlike many rock songs, the lyrics are understandable and accessible. They relate enough of a narrative to make the listener wonder about the real story. There’s enough angst and sadness in Tom Petty’s voice to underscore the profound sadness in the lyrics. And the lyrics and Petty’s voice complement each other in ways not typically found in rock and roll songs.

Put Petty’s voice and the lyrics together with a few minor chords, Mike Campbell’s guitar work, and Duck Dunn’s bass line, and what you have is a damned fine rock and roll song. IMHO, “A Woman in Love (It’s Not Me)” is the greatest rock and roll song ever recorded.

Listen to the video and see what you think…or leave a comment and tell me your choice for the greatest rock and roll song of all time.