And Now For Something Completely Different- Kindness

It shouldn't seem so unusual, but such is the world we live in

I write about things that don’t end so well- death, destruction, and generalized awfulness. While there’s certainly no lack of those things in the world, now and again I need to remind myself that this world doesn’t always suck donkey balls. Sometimes, some very cool things happen, and those things don’t often get the attention they deserve.

Today I want to change that, to at least what small degree I’m able. I’m just one crazed, socially inept writer with a laptop, a bad attitude, and a platform that doesn’t attract much attention. So whether I write about good things or bad, not many people will notice…and there’s some freedom in that. I can scream “F**K!!!” into the void in the seven languages I can do it in, and who will care?

That’s all well and good (and utterly useless), but I want to talk about something I know only in English- kindness. It’s a word that gets a lot of lip service but not many real-world applications. So I want to shine a light on a group that you wouldn’t think would be focused on kindness:

Teenagers.

I know, right? Whodathunkit?

Our story begins with 12-year-old Brody Ridder, a student at the Academy of Charter Schools in Westminster, CO. Brody tried to get classmates to sign his school yearbook, only to be repeatedly turned down. Pretty typical teen and pre-teen behavior, right? Kids that age can be pretty cruel to one another.

Cassandra Ridder was crushed when her 12-year-old son Brody came home from school last week with only a few signatures in his yearbook — including his own.

“Hope you make some more friends. — Brody Ridder,” the rising seventh-grader wrote in his own yearbook, which was signed by only two classmates, two teachers and himself.

Brody’s mother was distraught because he, even at a young age, had been through a lot. He’d been bullied, pushed around, and called names. He’d struggled to fit in socially and just hadn’t been able to find his niche.

Cassandra posted about the situation on Facebook, hoping that she might be able to stir up some sympathy for her son. It’s unlikely she had any idea what would happen next.

She hoped people would sympathize with her son’s struggle, but she did not anticipate the outpouring of support that swiftly surfaced after her post — particularly from older students at the school.

As dozens of compassionate comments poured in, several older students — none of whom previously knew Brody — heard about Ridder’s post from their parents. They stepped up to show their support.

Joanna Cooper, 17, received a text message from her mother with a screenshot of Ridder’s post. Right away, the 11th-grader decided, “I’m going to get people and we’re going to sign his yearbook. No kid deserves to feel like that.”

Some of the kids remembered what it was like to be in Brody’s position, and they decided that they could do something to make sure he didn’t have to repeat their experience. And so they did.

Before long, the kindness began to snowball. No one told the kids they had to do it; they took it upon themselves. It was, and remains, genuine and heartfelt.

Cooper remembers being Brody’s age, and the intense pressure she felt to fit in. Having signatures in your yearbook wasn’t only a measure of popularity, she recalled, it also meant simply “knowing that you have friends.”

“Signing someone’s yearbook was all the rage,” she said. “That people would tell him no and deny him a signature, it just hurt my heart.”

She contacted several friends and they coordinated to visit Brody’s homeroom class together the following day. Little did she know at the time, but many other students were hatching the same plan.

Several students recalled having experiences similar to Brody’s and that there was no one there to step up to support them. They decided that Brody had no reason to endure what they had, not when they could band together and do something nice because it was a good thing to do.

None of the kids involved decided to support Brody because they had ulterior motives. They weren’t looking for attention, and they certainly weren’t anticipating that the national media would pick up their story. Sometimes, though, kindness attracts attention because it’s not war, mass slaughter, or suffering on a grand scale. Sometimes kindness is a “Wow, that still happens?” moment worthy of attention.

And yes, it does still happen.

When Simone Lightfoot, also an 11th-grader at the school, saw Ridder’s post, her first thought was: “I’ll get some of my friends and we’ll go sign it,” she said.

Lightfoot, 17, could relate to Brody’s plight.

“When I was younger, I was bullied a lot like him,” she said. “If I could do one little thing to help this kid feel a little better, I’d be more than willing to.”….

Maya Gregory, an eighth-grader at the school, felt likewise. She, too, was bullied at Brody’s age.

“No one helped me when I was in that situation,” said Maya, 14. “So I wanted to be there for him.”

She rounded up her friends, all of whom were eager to give Brody a confidence boost. The impromptu initiative spread throughout the school, and on May 25, the day after the yearbooks were distributed, a swarm of older students filed into Brody’s sixth-grade classroom, ready to sign his yearbook.

Brody was a bit overwhelmed at first by the gestures of kindness shown to him by older students. Once he realized what was happening, he was happy that others had taken the time to be kind to him. He went from struggling to fit in socially to having friends who went out of their way to include him in their plans.

And the students who went out of their way for him learned a powerful lesson as well. They discovered the power that kindness can have. It already seems there’s an excellent chance Brody and his new friends will repeat the experience next year for students who may be similarly struggling.

Kindness has a way of being passed down once people recognize its power.

“Just seeing him light up, it felt really good,” said Cooper, who is hoping to spearhead a schoolwide yearbook signing next year to ensure that this doesn’t happen to another child. “It was a small thing, but it made him so happy.”

Plus, and perhaps most important, she added, their efforts set a positive example for students in Brody’s class, particularly those who initially refused to sign his yearbook.

As upperclassmen filled the pages of Brody’s book, several of his classmates got up from their seats and signed their names, too.

Unfortunately, we live in a world where gratuitous cruelty and those who revel in it receive far too much attention. The good news is that for every Donald Trump, there are many more Dalai Lamas. The problem is that the Dalai Lamas don’t receive nearly as much attention. As we all know, conflict, anger, and heartache draw eyeballs and clicks in quantities that happiness and harmony don’t. Unfortunately, that’s the reality of the media environment we inhabit.

That’s why, at least for one day, I’ve decided to break away from horror and conflict and focus on kindness. Sure, we all know what self-absorbed snots hormonal teenagers can be. We’ve all seen it and probably fought the temptation to keelhaul the little ingrates.

This misses the point that, as with any group, there are teenagers who can be genuinely selfless, kind, and generous when given the opportunity. The students at the Academy of Charter Schools saw an opportunity to do something kind for a struggling student…and they took it upon themselves to do it. Not only that, they’ve gone above and beyond anything for which their parents might have hoped.

In doing so, they’ve not only learned a powerful lesson about kindness, they’ve set an example for other students in their school and one from which many adults could take a few lessons.

Kindness doesn’t have to require a lot of time or effort. Sometimes it’s as simple as being there for someone when they need someone to talk to or a shoulder upon which to cry. It’s moments like that that can make someone’s day or feel like they matter. Sometimes that’s enough.

We can all make a kind contribution in our own way. My default method is to smile and make small talk with cashiers at grocery or retail stores. If you know me, you know how much I despise small talk. Even so, I try to smile at cashiers whenever possible and at the very least say, “Thank you!” Sometimes I have an opportunity to engage in a bit of small talk, which is an opportunity to let them know they’re more than just an insignificant contact point in my day.

It can feel like a little thing, but sometimes it’s not so little, and I never know when I might say or do something that might get a smile in return. Sometimes getting a smile is all the reward I need to get through my day with a grin on my face.

It’s easy to think about how bad things are today, and Lord knows you wouldn’t be far wrong. We as individuals can’t do much to change that. What we can do is introduce a bit more kindness into the world. It can start with one small act of kindness. It can be something big, but it doesn’t need to be. It depends only upon your imagination and what you’re comfortable with.

One act of kindness may lead to another. And another. Before you know it, other people may notice and begin following your example. That may lead to other people looking for ways to be kind.

If it can work for a group of teenagers, it can certainly work for adults, don’tchathink? So what have you got to lose?