Another Conservative Attempt To Create Cheap Outrage Where None Exists

Did you know that schools now have litter boxes in hallways?

[A] candidate in the GOP primary for Texas House District 136, which includes a large portion of the suburbs north of Austin, tweeted a curious allegation. That candidate, Michelle Evans—an activist who works with the local chapter of conservative parents’ group Moms for Liberty and who cofounded the anti-vaccine political action committee Texans for Vaccine Choice, back in 2015—tweeted that “Cafeteria tables are being lowered in certain @RoundRockISD middle and high schools to allow ‘furries’ to more easily eat without utensils or their hands (ie, like a dog eats from a bowl).”

She was responding to a tweet from right-wing Texas provocateur Michael Quinn Sullivan, who had shared a video of a woman speaking at a December school board meeting in Midland, Michigan, claiming that schools there have added “litter boxes” in the halls to allow students who identify as “furries” to relieve themselves. Sullivan retweeted the video, adding, “This is public education.” (It isn’t; the claims made by the speaker in the video have been shown to be untrue.) 

Wow; it surely seems as if schools have changed a good deal since my schoolboy days. Students identifying as animals? Litter boxes in the hallways so that students who identify as animals may relieve themselves? What’s next? Purina Cat Chow on the cafeteria lunch menu? Electric fences around the playground? Cat and dog toys incorporated into Physical Education classes?

Where will it stop?

‘Course, if any of this way actually true, it might be reason for concern. As it is, it’s just something else for Conservatives to get their panties in a wad over. File it under “This is the future Liberals want,” eh?

Yeah, it’s all fun and games until Susie tries to lick her butt in Geometry class and injures her back….

Sure, this is the sort of thing that any reasonable, rational person would look at and realize from the outset that it’s absurd on its face. They’d know immediately that there’s no way there could be an ounce of truth in such a ridiculous story. Even on the odd chance someone wasn’t sure, all they’d need to do is look at a cafeteria table to understand there’s no way to “lower” them.

So how could someone believe that such a patently absurd rumor could possibly be true? Is it possible that someone could be so addicted to outrage that they’d forego even the most basic fact-checking? In the case of Michelle Evans, the answer appears to be a resounding “YES!” No rational person could believe that cafeteria tables are being lowered to accommodate students identifying as furries, but if it can be used to bash Liberals and create outrage, why not?

The goal of the furry wars seems to be to drum up outrage among parents who’ve grown addicted to school-related outrage, but who need a fix of something weirder and more specific than “critical race theory.” Spreading false stories about already embattled school administrators is justified, it seems, so long as it keeps the outrage machine churning along. 

The origin of this conspiracy theory, if it can even be referred to as such, stems from reports from Kentucky, Idaho, and Iowa. Nonetheless, reports of litter boxes in hallways are untrue. If they were true, don’t you think that in schools full of cell phone-addicted teens, someone would have come up with a few pictures of the phenomenon?

And now I get to spend the rest of today trying to purge the image from my brain….

Of course, defecating in litter boxes and eating from food dishes have nothing at all to do with being a “furry.” Not that such a revelation should come as a surprise, but even the barest modicum of research (“Furries are just like you!”) should disabuse even the most ignorant observer of that notion. Of course, who needs research and fact-checking when you can go from zero to righteous outrage in no time flat?

Now, if you don’t mind, I need to go make sure my litter box has been cleaned and my food and water dishes are full.

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