Conservative Moral Panic? Why Do Conservative Opinions And Judgments Matter?

Socially Conservative culture warriors are free to their opinions...but we all know what opinions are like, right?

Evil isn’t the real threat to the world. Stupid is just as destructive as Evil, maybe more so, and it’s a hell of a lot more common. What we really need is a crusade against Stupid. That might actually make a difference.

• Jim Butcher, Vignette

The intimate relationship between Floriduh Gov. Ron DeSatan and Stupid appears to have no boundaries. Combine that with DeSatan’s penchant for performative dickishness, and what you have is someone running for Führer in 2024. Face it; the man’s after just about all of our civil rights…he just lacks the honesty and decency to own up to it.

DeSatan has created an environment in Floriduh that’s hostile to anyone who’s not a White Conservative Christian heterosexual male. How bad have things come to be in the Sunshine State? How about so bad that a pole-dancing convention planning to come to Orlando next year just canceled and decided that it couldn’t tolerate the idea of being in Floriduh?

Not that I blame them.

A major pole-dancing convention no longer plans to head to Orlando in 2024 after Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis (R) signed a flurry of laws targeting the LGBTQ+ community, including one that targets drag shows.

The International Pole Convention, known as PoleCon for short, has decided to relocate the annual event because attendees will include people of various genders and ages, including youth performers and children attending with their parents, and some attendees will be in drag.

“It’s just too risky to go to Florida,” Colleen Jolly, the CEO of the International Pole Convention, told HuffPost. “At this point, I’m signing [event-related] contracts one year in advance. What kind of shenanigans are going to be happening there by then?”

One of the Florida laws purports to bar business from admitting minors to sexually explicit drag shows, but critics say it’s written in such a way that it could apply to all drag events. The text says that such shows include those that are “patently offensive to prevailing standards in the adult community of this state as a whole with respect to what is suitable material or conduct for the age of the child present.”

Any establishment that violates the law could be fined $5,000 for a first offense and $10,000 for a subsequent violation, as well as having its liquor license revoked.

Ms. Jolly makes an excellent point. If things are this bad in Floriduh now, who knows what it could be like in 2024? There could be actual Nazis goosestepping down Collins Avenue in Miami Beach at 8 pm nightly. They’re already camping outside Orlando’s Disney World.

I’m engaging in hyperbole now, but might it be more than speculation 12 months from now? Do you really want to place that bet?

And while Gov. DeSatan is busily turning Floriduh into his own little mini-Reich, he’s also bent on turning the US into something resembling the Fourth Reich.

Civil liberties? Separation of Church and State? Silly wabbit, those things are for losers and Liberals….

Last week, a federal judge temporarily halted the drag ban after Hamburger Mary’s, a chain restaurant that hosts drag performances for all ages, sued Florida, saying the law’s broad language has a chilling effect on the right to free speech.

But the legal uncertainty still has Jolly concerned about holding an inclusive event in Florida. Even before DeSantis signed the drag law, right-wing extremists and other protesters had shown up to drag events at restaurants and other venues.

“I wouldn’t want my attendees to have people standing outside picketing,” Jolly said. “This is their time to get away, relax and have fun. They shouldn’t have to worry about getting hassled.”

PoleCon was held in Orlando in 2018, and Jolly said that many attendees — professional and hobbyist pole-dancers alike — visited local theme parks, participating in Florida’s large tourist economy. But now there is a real danger to any organization holding drag events.

Now Floriduh’s tourist economy won’t be benefitting from PoleCon attendees spending their dollars in Orlando’s restaurants, bars, hotels, and perhaps somewhat less savory establishments. And it’s likely other conventions may be reconsidering Floriduh as a destination for their annual soirees and sinfests. After all, who wants to get hassled about drag queens and pedophiles? Especially when people are there to have fun, party like fiends, and maybe get their helmet polished?

None of the things DeSatan’s laws are intended to address are actually happening, of course. They’re solutions in search of non-existent problems. But that allow DeSatan to burnish his culture warrior bona fides. He can look tough even if he isn’t tough…and the man’s a first-glass, Grade-A, top-shelf, USDA Prime wienie.

Last year, DeSantis threatened a Miami restaurant’s liquor license over drag shows, alleging that the popular events were targeting minors with lewd performances. Then in February, DeSantis filed a complaint against the Orlando Philharmonic Plaza Foundation after it hosted a family-friendly drag show, similarly accusing the nonprofit of putting on sexually explicit performances for children.

DeSantis signed the raft of anti-LGBTQ laws right before announcing last month that he was running for the White House, signaling what his priorities could be as president. He did not immediately respond to a request for comment from HuffPost.

Florida’s drag ban is a part of a conservative moral panic about children being exposed to the LGBTQ+ community. While it has spread across the country in GOP-led states, Florida remains at the forefront.

“Conservative moral panic.” The “panic” is over something that’s not even occurring in the form Conservative culture warriors have convinced themselves it is. Children aren’t being “exposed” to the LGBTQ community. They may know people who are LGBTQ, or they see TV shows, plays, or movies performed by those who happen to be LGBTQ…but they’re not being “exposed” or “recruited.”

And since when is being LGBTQ a crime?

Don’t look now, but may be next under Gov. DeSatan.

The LGBTQ community isn’t populated by crazed amoral zealots determine to “recruit” children to their “perverted” lifestyle. Children, in most cases, already know that they’re gay- or at the very least that there’s something about them that makes them not like other kids. They don’t have to be “recruited.” They need to be affirmed and told that they’re perfect and OK just the way they are, whatever form that might take.

Uptight Social Conservatives have no right to project their fears, prejudices, or expectations on others. All of us have the right to be who we are free of external rules, expectations, and unnecessary pressure. So whether we’re straight, gay, or a little bit of both, that’s OK…because it’s no one’s damned business but the person trying to sort it out for themselves.

So, f**k your “Conservative moral panic.” Social Conservative culture warriors can fuss all they want, but in the end none of it matters. What others do and who they may do it with is no one’s business save for the people involved. If they’re behind closed doors with power tools and vacuum hoses…well, it’s not my thing, but if it gets them through the night, then bully for them.

Say what you will and think what you want. That’s your right as an American. But you should also know that your “Conservative moral panic” isn’t worth the pixels it’s printed on. How about y’all work on getting your own house in order? And once you’re able to do that, try spreading some love and support; you might be surprise by the difference you can make.