Dave Chappelle's Payday- Disrespecting Everyone But Himself And His Own

You can't gratuitously insult people and not expect some blowback

As of this writing, Netflix employees are staging a walkout over transphobic remarks recently made by comedian Dave Chappelle in his new Netflix special “The Closer”, seen as “a revolutionary act of defiance” by some and “using white privilege to excuse his own homophobia and transphobia” by others. During his hour-and-twelve-minute routine, Chappelle makes every effort to do what comedians have been doing for years, which is push the envelope.

The main difference between someone like Chappelle and the comedy legends that came before him is subject matter. Lenny Bruce, George Carlin, Richard Pryor, Wanda Sykes, and Joan Rivers either took aim at those in power or made fun of themselves. Chappelle directs his wit at women, Jews, the LGBTQ community in general, and trans people in particular, but never himself, and never people of color.

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I’m a big fan of Stacey Eskelin. Though we’ve never met (she’s an American ex-pat living in Italy), we appear to have a surprising amount in common. So when she wrote about Dave Chappelle’s Netflix special (just beating me to it, BTW), I was curious what her take would be.

It turns out it wasn’t substantially different from my own, though I haven’t seen Chappelle’s special and have no desire nor any plans to. Because I can, I thought I’d offer up my two cents on Chappelle stomping in his own s**t. And I thought I’d do it in something roughly resembling a letter.

Here’s to hoping Stacey will see the humor in it and cut me some slack.

Mad respect, yo….

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Stacey-

Thanks for watching Dave Chappelle’s Netflix special, so I don’t have to. I’ve seen and heard enough disrespect in the name of humor in my life to want to subject myself to yet more.

I Watched the Dave Chappelle Special So You Don't Have To

I’d hate to think I’d have to waste 72 minutes and the requisite quantity of brain cells just to realize that Chappelle ridiculed everyone but himself[.]

Perhaps if the field of slaughter had included everyone, I might not have balked at the unusual specificity of his humor. As it turns out, Chappelle views what he does as art, and since art is in the eye of the beholder, he can’t be held liable for our “interpretation.”

If Chappelle’s default is employing insults as humor, it would be more credible if he also put himself in the line of fire. Chappelle, long known for the “unusual specificity of his humor,” has every right to engage in that brand of humor. However, not including himself in his list of targets makes it clear that what he’s doing is just plain mean.

And that he’s just another common, garden-variety asshole.

That’s not “art,” nor is it a matter of individual “interpretation.” It’s Dave Chappelle failing to take responsibility for being a dick, if for no other reason than Netflix undoubtedly paid him a sh**load of money. So why should he care, right?? He’s laughing all the way to the bank.

Chappelle spends three-quarters of his time lobbing some pretty lame jokes. The greatest crime he may have committed here was his failure to be funny…. To [his audience], Dave Chappelle is the G.O.A.T., the Truth Teller, a Black superhero going toe-to-toe with cancel culture. And maybe he is.

Humor is highly subjective. After all, one person’s joke is another’s quote from Mein Kampf: Torrid Weekends With The Swedish Bikini Team.

In 2006, my ex-wife and I saw Jim Gaffigan at a comedy club in New York City. This was before Gaffigan blew up and became Comedy Personified. What I admired about Gaffigan then as now is that he’s undeniably hilarious without working blue or being a dick. He doesn’t delve into egregious insults. Or tear people down. Sure, he may nibble around the edges, but rarely in a way that’s anything close to being offensive.

But couldn’t his point have been made without being so spectacularly offensive? Instead of shooting bullets at the trans community, couldn’t he have poked holes in cancel culture itself?

Exactly my point. I’d submit that Gaffigan is a far more entertaining comedian than Chappelle could ever dream of being. Granted, they arose from different cultures, but Gaffigan is rarely offensive. Chappelle’s arrogance is his raison d’ etre. Gaffigan’s career has blown up as he’s turned into the Übermensch of comedy. Chappelle’s career has been lucrative enough, even with him becoming a lightning rod among comedians.

And why the trans community? Why insult and demean a community already struggling for acceptance and survival? With so much hatred, fear, and abuse already directed at transgender people for no reason, why would a comedian known for gratuitous insults decide to travel that path?

I suspect that Chappelle might argue that as a Black man in America, he and the trans community are on equal footing. He may be right.

That’s is a bullshit argument. The status and treatment of minority communities is not a competition- “My ‘people’ are more oppressed than yours.” If ONE of us is oppressed, then ALL of us are.

It’s not about who’s more persecuted and/or why. It should be about how we can lift each other up and make things better for all. Lest you begin referring to me as “Pollyanna,” rest assured that I’m fully aware of how entitled and privileged that sounds. Equity shouldn’t be a “pie-in-the-sky” goal- something nice but wholly unattainable. It should realistic AND achievable…and equity is.

Equity should be the baseline goal, the big, important thing that drives all of us. Remember, it’s not a competition; no one deserves to feel disrespected. Instead, everyone deserves to feel that they have a seat at the bar.

[W]hat I found truly unforgivable was his attempt to walk it all back by proclaiming he’d set up a trust fund for the daughter of Daphne Dorfman, a trans female comedian who’d recently committed suicide after getting dragged on Twitter over her support for Dave Chappelle.

The optics are not good. Chappelle was taking a lot of heat over his transphobic remarks. He needed a beard. Enter Daphne, his biggest fan, a woman who came to his shows and laughed harder than anybody. Without even bothering to see her perform, Chappelle asked Daphne if she wanted to open for him in San Francisco. She enthusiastically said yes. And yet, her support for him cost her the respect of her own community. For reasons that remain unclear, Daphne committed suicide six days later.

Chappelle blames cancel culture for Daphne’s death. We will never know for sure what happened. But his announcement of the trust fund felt emotionally manipulative. That’s something you tell a few close friends, not the general public—especially when you’re under fire for being perceived as transphobic.

Such ham-handedness smacks of a “Yeah, but some of my best friends are [insert name of denigrated demographic here].” Moreover, it’s a pretty sad and pathetic attempt to paper over his transphobic “jokes.”

Instead of doing the decent thing and apologizing, Chappelle increased the degree of f**k-up by using Daphne Dorfman as his beard. We’ll never know if Chappelle was THE reason or merely a basis for Dorfman taking her life. Still, but for Chappelle’s self-serving manipulation of Dorfman, would she still be alive?

There’s every possibility that she would be. And the fact that Dorfman felt so humiliated that she took her life is a tragedy that could’ve (and probably should’ve) been prevented.

In “The Closer,” Chappelle becomes the guy who insults you to your face but then tries to woo you back by telling you all the great things he did down at the dog shelter. And we’re so busy looking at him right now, especially in light of the Netflix walkout, that we’re not seeing the truth about ourselves.

All viewpoints are valid until they become intolerant. Was Chappelle being intolerant, or was he doing what we pay him to do, which is perform? Maybe the goal shouldn’t be shutting down the ones who offend us, but learning how to actually talk to them about why they are offensive.

Comedy doesn’t have to be mean. There’s no need to wallow in the pain and embarrassment of others for laughs. That doesn’t prove that you’re funny. It only demonstrates what a small, miserable, and mean-spirited human being you are.

I’m not a comedian, but I do know that being funny doesn’t have to mean pouring salt in wounds and exploiting that pain and suffering for laughs. Por ejemplo, Jim Gaffigan became bigger than God despite not trafficking in insults or mining the sorrow of others.

IS Dave Chappelle’s comedy proof (or at least evidence) of intolerance? If the answer’s yes- and I believe it is- then we have two choices. We can cancel him and toss him on the ash heap of history, or we can talk about why we find his intolerance offensive and not funny. We can ask him to do better, to BE better.

We don’t need to cast people out. But should we be glorifying trolls who seek to profit off the misfortune of those who already know far too much hardship?

No, we should not.

"In our country, you can shoot and kill a n***," Chappelle says. "But you better not hurt a gay person's feelings." While it is clear that he is committed to making his audiences think, these are not nuanced arguments stemming from a consideration of other perspectives. They’re a lament given by a wealthy, successful man who never has to worry about getting stomped for using the wrong bathroom. I hear privilege here, even if it isn’t white privilege.

I just wish he’d turn some of that high-wattage perception on himself.

This isn’t and shouldn’t be a “My community has endured more than yours” discussion. ALL suffering is needlessly awful. Instead, we should be working to mitigate and eliminate that trauma and grief.

We shouldn’t be tolerant of those who mine anguish and discomfort for laughs. Whether that person is White, Yellow, Black, or Chartreuse, those who profit off the hardship and misfortune of others are despicable. That said, “despicable” is not the same as “irredeemable.” With love, compassion, and education, even the most contemptible and vile among us can recognize and overcome their error.

I firmly believe that no one sets out to be an asshole. However, a person may not realize they have another option. They may not understand that living life in such a toxic fashion is corrosive. Over the long haul, I suspect it takes quite a toll on those for whom being an asshole is their default.

My philosophy is four simple words- “Don’t be a dick.” It’s a clean, uncomplicated restatement of one of my favorite quotes from the Dalai Lama, who once said, “Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible to be kind.”

Not only is it always possible, kindness and compassion feel much better than being an asshole. Hatred, anger, and bigotry require a significant investment of energy. It can be challenging to maintain such toxic negativity over the course of a lifetime.

On the other hand, love is easy. It requires almost no energy, even less effort, and you can live in it virtually indefinitely without feeling tired or worn out.

So, thanks again, Stacey, for watching Chappelle’s Netflix special so I didn’t have to. That’s 72 minutes of my life I can spend on something more positive and productive.

I owe you one, and if we ever meet, the drinks are on me. :-)

Be safe- and keep up the phenomenal work!!

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