Do You Have A Magic Love Vagina? (This Week In Stupid)

And how terrible is it that the WOKE state of Texas allows a woman to just walk away from a marriage? What about their Magic Love Vagina?

THE GOOD NEWS IS THAT VACATION PACKAGES IN SUDAN ARE DIRT CHEAP THESE DAYS!!

A few years ago, I read The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists. It was a fascinating look into a subculture of men whose primary goal in life was to get women they didn’t know into bed. It came down to whether they had “game,” which was all about their approach to women, some of which seemed pretty strange…and more than a little sad. Interestingly, it wasn’t about f**king women, who were mere means to an end. Instead, these men were masturbating to their own power, and the women were tools to complete the task.

Some of the characters in the book, published in 2006, are what we now call “incels” (involuntary celibates). They weren’t trying to pick up and sleep with women because they loved women or even having random, anonymous sex. No, they hated women and considered them inferior beings who “owe” them sex. They resent women for not providing them with sex when they demand it.

These days you can see it in online incel forums, and some of the stuff is pretty…”out there.”

This particular thread (from one of these grifty romance gurus that now has a checkmark and is therefore algorithmically boosted into the feed) has been going around Twitter this week, largely because of its bizarre claim that vaginas are capable of vacuuming a penis up into them, if the person with the vagina is sufficiently in love with the person on the other end of the penis.

Yeah, these people have an incredibly warped view of the distaff half of the population:

Of course, anyone who’s had sex knows it doesn’t work that way, and what someone could hope to gain by spreading this misinformation is hard to know. Perhaps it’s just another way to perpetuate the myth that men are powerful, and women are but sperm receptacles (or, less prosaically, “cum dumpsters”).

"This is a very astonishing fact that only a few wise men know," the user continues "If this does not come about, the only reason is that the woman does not love this man; therefore, her body does not perform the act of suction. As a result, all men's actions are aggressive and all women's are passive."….

One of the most popular theories among incels is that when a woman has sex with a man, his DNA is absorbed into her body and it changes her psychologically — which means that the more men a woman has sex with, the "crazier" she becomes. Because science and not because it's unfair that those women are having sex with men who are not them.

So get ‘em while they’re young, guys…preferably before puberty and they’re ruined by promiscuity. You’ll want to be there when they develop a magic vacuum love vagina.

Of course, men can have all the sex they want without concern for adverse consequences because…well, because men make the rules, and that’s how things work, honey.

Too bad, ladies. Perhaps if you’d figured this out sooner, y’all could’ve devised some sort of pseudo-science that would’ve allowed you to be promiscuous with no adverse consequences.

Man, these guys are f*****g nuts….

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Imagine my surprise (and delight) when the news crossed the transom on Monday that Tucker Carlson and Fox News had “agreed to part ways.” But, of course, that could mean several different things, but lying liars gonna lyingly lie their lying lies, knowhutimean? So I suspect nobody is telling the truth here…and why would they?

No one at Fox News can be counted on to tell the truth about anything, so to assume that Carlson was fired or that he resigned…well, who knows? Maybe he was caught balls-deep in an intern on set Friday night just after he went off the air.

Or perhaps Rupert Murdoch decided that Carlson wasn’t lying enough for his liking.

Something tells me Tucker’s not worried about where his next Big Mac comes from.

FOX News Media and Tucker Carlson have agreed to part ways. We thank him for his service to the network as a host and prior to that as a contributor.

Mr. Carlson's last program was Friday April 21st. Fox News Tonight will air live at 8 PM/ET starting this evening as an interim show helmed by rotating FOX News personalities until a new host is named.

Ah, karma’s a real bitch, no?

And before I finish with this, I should mention that as soon as the news of Carlson’s firing became public, he was offered a job on Russian state television.

I wish I were kidding. Unfortunately, the tweet may be a joke, but the job offer was genuine.

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You know that things are rough when you pull this out of your wallet:

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You probably don’t know who Steven Crowder is, and there’s certainly no reason you should’ve heard of him. He’s an American Taliban “Christian” who thinks WAY too highly of himself, is WAY too judgmental of others, and can be described in six words:

1. Asshole

2. Misogynist

3. Sexist

4. Homophobe

5. Holier-than-thou

6. Self-righteous

7. Narcissist

I could probably use a few more, but the story of his marriage (and subsequent divorce) is an exercise in karma and sweet, sweet schadenfreude. So seven words seem sufficient to understand someone who’s a serious dickweed.

And I think I’m beginning to understand why his wife wanted to get as far away from him as possible. She has my sympathy for waking up next to him for as long as she did; that must have been a nauseating experience.

He seems nice, eh? For a misogynist and a narcissist, that is. It’s too bad the WOKE state of Texas allows a woman to walk away from a marriage, eh??

And what about his ex-wife’s Magic Love Vagina? Did that suddenly dry up? Or go away when marriage is no longer forever? What’s a good Christian man to do without a woman to attend to his “needs?”

The good news is that if Crowder goes to Amazon and searches for “sex toys,” he should easily find something to help him out.

You’re welcome, Steve.