Floriduh Republicans- Cheating Is Never An Obstacle To Seizing Absolute Power
Another petty stunt from a party full of petty performance artists
“Because people are assholes,” said Bear, dutifully keeping his head down. “Ninety percent of all problems are caused by people being assholes.”
Becky Chambers
So you say you’re wondering what America might look like if Floriduh Gov. Ron DeSatan is elected President in 2024?
If you’re not White, Conservative, Christian, and heterosexual, you might be in for a rough ride. That’s particularly true if you’re transgender. DeSatan hates transgender people, and he’s using that hatred as one of the building blocks of his pursuit of Bigger Things- like perhaps running for President.
Why? Maybe he’s afraid of his feminine side.
But the weirdest, most evil thing DeSatan’s Floriduh GOP is in the process of doing is making the Democratic Party illegal. Yes, you read that correctly. And I’m not kidding.
Sen. Blaise Ingoglia is sponsoring the “Ultimate Cancel Act,” which would eliminate all political parties that once used slavery as part of its platform.
While “Democratic Party” isn’t mentioned in the bill, Ingoglia said that’s his target.
“For years now, leftist activists have been trying to ‘cancel’ people and companies for things they have said or done in the past. This includes the removal of statues and memorials, and the renaming of buildings,” he said. “Using this standard, it would be hypocritical not to cancel the Democratic Party itself for the same reason.”
The measure (SB 1248) would switch Democratic voters to no-party voters or give them the option of choosing another party.
The Democratic Party adopted pro-slavery positions in their platforms during the conventions of 1840, 1844, 1856, 1860 and 1864, Ingoglia noted.
Of course, what’s to stop the Democratic Party from employing the same tactics against Republicans should Democrats become the majority in Floriduh? Sen. Ingoglia seems not to understand the “what goes around will eventually come around” concept.
Republicans will not be the majority party in Tallahassee forever, and the time of reckoning for their irresponsibility and lack of seriousness will come. And what will happen then?
Democrats, I suspect, will be too focused on trying to solve problems to engage in petty score-settling, but they would be well within their rights to do to Republicans what’s being done to them today.
Indeed, the Democratic Party’s beginnings were rooted in states’ rights, including slavery. The party split during the Civil War, with Southern Democrats favoring slavery in all territories and Northern Democrats arguing it should go to a popular vote. That split triggered a long process in which party ideologies shifted from Republicans being the more liberal party to the conservative GOP as we now know it, which culminated in the 1960s through the 80s based, at least in part, on the civil rights movement, as well as ideas on government control and intervention.
A century after the Civil War, it was a Democratic president from the South, Lyndon Johnson, who signed the Civil Rights Act.
The Florida Democratic Party condemned the bill in a statement.
“Presenting a bill that would disenfranchise 5 million voters is both unconstitutional and unserious. Under Ron DeSantis, Senator Ingoglia is using his office to push bills that are nothing more than publicity stunts instead of focusing on the issues that matter most to Floridians, such as reforming property insurance, addressing housing affordability and combating climate change,” the group wrote.
“The sooner DeSantis and his puppets in the legislature learn that Florida is a Democratic Republic and not a Banana Republic, the better it will be for all Floridians.”
Yes, at one point in our history, the Democratic Party was pro-slavery. That was some 160 years ago- and no one should need to be reminded that much has changed since then. Democrats have become the party of the people, while Republicans have become petty, immature, and intent on playing political games.
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Sen. Igoglia is using slavery, not because he cares about the historical injustice of it but because it provides a precedent he can use as an excuse for disenfranchising Democrats. It has nothing to do with any current issue facing Floriduh. It’s just another political game Gov. DeSatan’s Republicans can play with the hope of turning the Sunshine State into a one-party fascist Paradise.
Sure, the 1860 Democratic Party platform fiercely supported slavery, and the 1860 Republican platform was anti-slavery. However, Florida itself was the third state to secede from the union and was a key player in the Confederacy. It's not as if every Republican in Florida is a literal Yankee transplant who wants to preserve the union and promote freedom.
The early Republican Party consisted of northern Protestants, factory workers, professionals, businessmen, prosperous farmers, and after the Civil War, former black slaves. Since the 1964 Civil Rights Act was passed, the Republican Party slowly and suddenly became the party of conspiracy theorists, white nationalists, and insurrectionists. It's a neo-Confederate party that has little connection other than its name with the party of Abraham Lincoln and (my personal hero) Thaddeus Stevens.
Stevens was a true badass. He said, "I wished that I were the owner of every southern slave, that I might cast off the shackles from their limbs, and witness the rapture which would excite them in the first dance of their freedom.” I don't think many MAGA Republicans would consider that a fun Saturday night.
Stevens said during the Civil War, in 1862, "Our object should be not only to end this terrible war now, but to prevent its recurrence. All must admit that slavery is the cause of it. Without slavery, we should this day be a united and happy people."
He also wisely noted, "No Government can be free that does not allow all its citizens to participate in the formation and execution of her laws."
It’s almost as if Stevens had Ron DeSatan’s Floriduh in mind. Today, the Sunshine State is so racially gerrymandered that it’s become a White Paradise intended primarily to benefit its White residents. Everyone else gets whatever table scraps the White population deigns to leave behind for those unfortunate enough not to be White, Conservative, Christian, and heterosexual.
Drive up Collins Avenue from Miami Beach, and you’ll see mile after concrete, steel, and glass mile of condo buildings built mostly for affluent White residents.
Blaise Ingoglia and his fellow party members don't deserve to call themselves Republicans, but I suppose the likes of Jesse Helms, Ronald Reagan, Newt Gingrich, Donald Trump, Ted Cruz, Marjorie Taylor Greene, Kevin McCarthy — I could go on — have thoroughly tarnished a once noble mantle.
Ingoglia, without a trace of irony, said he hopes his stupid bill will force Democrats to "face their past." Democrats aren't the ones who want to ignore or whitewash history. Republicans might dwell in a romanticized past but they'll eventually have to confront what they've become. It's not pretty.
Republicans like Blaise Ingoglia and Ron DeSatan blather hypocritically about holding Democrats accountable for what happened 160 years ago. They’re doing this to escape accountability for what they’re doing to Floriduh today.
Democrats aren’t the ones trying to fight efforts to suppress votes among traditionally non-Republican voting blocs. They’re not the ones gerrymandering districts to ridiculous degrees to ensure favorable outcomes. And they’re certainly not the ones carrying guns onto the House floor. I could go on, but that’s enough to make my point.
All over the country- not just in Floriduh- Republicans are more into performative outrage than doing the work they were elected to do. Why? Because working is hard and performative outrage fires up the base, like throwing raw meat to wolves. Performative outrage is easy.
Call it the Fox News Effect or what you will, but politicians on the Far-Right are far more likely to engage in behavior that’s closer to performance art than it is the duties of their job. Because doing their job isn’t going to get them face time on Fox News or other Right-leaning media outlets.
That’s why you can count on seeing more dumbass stunts like this. They won’t accomplish anything, but who’d ever heard of Blaise Ingoglia before this? Now he’s had his 15 minutes, and he’ll fade back into richly-deserve obscurity. He did his part to serve his master, Gov. Ron DeSatan.
Unfortunately, I think we’ll be stuck with DeSatan a wee bit longer.
One might add that when Johnson signed the Civil Rights Act, many Southern "Dixiecrats" quit the party and joined ... oh, go on, you already know ... the GOP.