From My Cold, Dead...And Dumb...Fingers
Some needs to tell Joe Manchin and Ted Cruz that no one's taking their precious gas stoves
The cosmos stands amazed at just how dumb Planet Dumb is. With an uncanny talent for error, humanity has at every crossroads taken the wrong path. Humanity is the species guaranteed to choose wrongly. What else would you expect in a Dunning-Kruger world? Ignorance reigns supreme. Everyone is part of the Dumbageddon Conspiracy.
Ranty McRanterson, Full Retard: The Dumbest Just Got Dumber
You really are a dumbass.
Stjepan Šejić, Sunstone, Vol. 5
It’s not often that you find Republicans and Democrats teaming up when it comes to pointless performative idiocy and outrage. Still, it does happen, and in the interest of fairness, I feel moved to acknowledge it when it rears its vacant head.
In this case, it’s one Republican, Sen. Ted Cruz (R-TX), and one (barely) Democrat, Sen. Joe Manchin (D-WV). Manchin, is, of course, a DINO (Democrat In Name Only), but he IS still a Democrat, so I’ll have to grant this nod to “both-sides-ism.”
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The subject at hand is a non-existent federal ban on natural gas stoves that hasn’t even been proposed. That salient fact isn’t stopping Sens. Cruz and Manchin from proposing a bill to solve a problem that doesn’t exist.
OMG, don’tcha just LOVE democracy, American style?? NOW do you understand why we’re trying to export it to countries worldwide? Yes, every country should be blessed with a representative democracy as thoroughly f****d up as ours
Two of Congress’ biggest beneficiaries of fossil fuel industry money have introduced legislation to block a federal gas stove ban that does not exist and has not been proposed.
Sens. Joe Manchin (D-W.Va.) and Ted Cruz (R-Texas) on Thursday unveiled their solution in search of a problem: the so-called Gas Stove Protection and Freedom Act, which would prevent the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission (CPSC) from using federal funds to outlaw new or existing gas stoves.
Republicans have spent the last three weeks manufacturing public outrage that the Biden administration plans to send jackbooted federal agents to seize gas kitchen appliances.
“I can tell you one thing, they’re not taking my gas stove out,” Manchin chuckled during a committee hearing Thursday. “The federal government doesn’t have any business telling American families how to cook their dinner.”
“I can tell you the last thing that would ever leave our house is the gas stove we cook on,” Manchin said in a separate statement announcing the bill.
Of course, that would be the last thing to leave Sen. Manchin’s house, because
[u]nless Manchin renovated his kitchen, he isn’t cooking with gas — at least not while he’s in Washington, D.C. A 2004 article in the Washington Post about the 65-foot houseboat he lives on when he’s in town notes that the “designer kitchen boasts a full-size electric stove, granite counters, two dishwashers, a trash compactor and Sub-Zero refrigerator.” At the time, the boat had a different name and owners.
Then again, why would Sen. Manchin let the truth stand in the way of a perfectly good political story? Sure, if he DID have a gas stove, you rest assured it would be the last thing that would ever leave his house.
When they pry it from his cold, dead fingers.
Of course, none of this faux controversy has even a grain of truth to it- not that a lack of veracity would ever stop a Republican and an almost Republican from exploiting an opportunity to embarrass the Biden Administration.
It’s rather pathetic, but it’s all they’ve got.
In a separate statement, Cruz said “radical environmentalists want to stop Americans from using natural gas.”
“The Consumer Product Safety Commission’s proposed ban on gas stoves is the latest egregious scaremongering by the Far Left and their Biden administration allies,” he said.
Putting aside whether Manchin is being truthful about the type of stove he uses day-to-day, he, Cruz and other allies of the oil and gas industry are lying when they say federal regulators are coming for Americans’ gas stoves.
Cruz’s statement is, of course, complete bullshit. The Consumer Product Safety Commission (CPSC) has never proposed banning gas stoves. This “controversy” harkens back to last month, and a comment Richard Trumka, a member of the CPSC, made about gas stoves.
In an interview with Bloomberg, he floated regulating or banning new gas stoves amid mounting research that the appliances emit harmful pollutants indoors, posing risks to human health. Gas stoves have been shown to emit potentially unsafe levels of carbon monoxide, nitrogen dioxide and other pollutants, even when they are not in operation. One recent study linked the appliances to childhood asthma.
“Products that can’t be made safe can be banned,” Trumka told the publication.
Trumka and CPSC Chairman Alex Hoehn-Saric later clarified that the agency has not proposed any ban or new regulation for gas stoves, but is researching the issue and exploring ways to reduce associated risks. The White House has also said President Joe Biden does not support a gas stove ban.
“To be clear, CPSC isn’t coming for anyone’s gas stoves,” Trumka posted to Twitter, adding that any future regulation would apply only to new products.
By then, the culture war cat was already out of the bag.
This is just another skirmish in the disinformation war being waged by the Outrage Industrial Complex against President Joe Biden’s efforts to curb global climate change. Today, he’s coming after your gas stoves. Tomorrow, who know? Maybe your gas-powered sex toys?
Consider yourself warned.
The GOP disinformation efforts have included rumors that the Biden Administration is planning to ban red meat to help reduce greenhouse gas emissions. Yeah, that’s not happening, either- but the Outrage Industrial Complex is getting fat and happy off this crap.
In keeping with the ridiculousness of the subject matter, please allow me to present today’s GOP theme song, dedicated in particular to Sens. Ted Cruz and Joe Manchin:
Of course, no reasonable person believes that the federal government is going to be sending its jackbooted thugs into homes across America to confiscate natural gas stoves. Then again, reasonable people don’t watch Fox News; they get their news from a variety of sources that rely on the truth as their basis for their reporting.
Not that there isn’t a movement away from gas stoves, and we can certainly debate whether that’s a sensible thing based on health data or an overreaction to anecdotal data that may or may not be grounded in reality. Here in Oregon, the city of Eugene has passed an ordinance forbidding the construction of new homes with gas stoves. Will that help to make an impact on human health and/or global climate change? It’s probably too soon to know, and the production of electricity has its own issues that probably need to be addressed.
For now, though, the biggest threat isn’t gas stoves. It’s dumbass politicians in concert with the Outrage Industrial Complex conspiring to create a “crisis” where none exists. No, the feds aren’t coming to pry your gas stoves from your cold, dead fingers. And legislation proposed by Sens. Cruz and Manchin is pandering to those who watch WAY too much Fox News. Their bill addresses a “problem” that exists in no shape, manner, or form.
Instead of seriously looking to solve the serious and genuine problems that continue to bedevil America, Sens. Cruz and Manchin have applied their clown makeup in a half-assed effort to “solve” a non-existent “threat” facing Americans.
But we don’t know that it COULDN’T happen.
This is why it’s called performative stupidity…and it’s why Congress has become such a clown show. And guess what? Y’all elected the clowns. So, yes, you have precisely the quality of leadership you deserve.
Nice work, eh?
