God hates us and wishes we would eat a bag of dicks (the Male Prerogative mix)

On behalf of Penis-Americans everywhere, please accept my humblest of apologies

Jack Hibbs Says Campus Protesters ‘Have No Constitutional Rights’:

Do students protesting on college campuses have rights, or should they have their skulls bashed in like the vermin they are? Well, one brave man of God is brave enough to stand up and contend that student protesters should have no rights. Why? Because they’re fools—at least in his esteemed opinion.

Jack Hibbs, a far-right anti-LGBTQ pastor, conspiracy theorist, and Christian nationalist, posted a video on his YouTube channel earlier this week in which he lashed out at the protests that have sprung up on college campuses around the country in opposition to the ongoing war in Gaza.

Hibbs, an ardent Christian Zionist whose own support for Israel is riddled with antisemitism, declared that these campus activists have no First Amendment right to protest because, by virtue of protesting, they are proving that they are not even real Americans.

“This morning, I turned on the news and I watched the idiocy of the news media—from channel to channel to channel covering Columbia University and NYU—say the same thing: ‘You know, they’re just expressing their First Amendment rights. This is the First Amendment in action,'” Hibbs sneered. “Those are the words of fools. Fools!”

Well, when you’re an asshole, you’re an asshole, yeah? And Jack Hibbs knows from assholes.

Texas Ex From Hell Wants To Sue His Former Girlfriends' Friends Over Her Colorado Abortion:

Whaddya mean Texas law doesn’t apply everywhere? It’s TEXAS, damnit!!

Once again, the exact thing we said was going to happen, vis-à-vis the horrific Texas legislation allowing people to sue anyone who “aids and abets” an abortion, is happening.

At some point this year, a Texas woman made the decision to run off to Colorado to seek an abortion in order to avoid giving birth to the purported child of one Collin Davis. Given what we know about this Collin Davis character, this is the smartest possible decision she could have made, as having his child would have meant being chained to him for life in some capacity — and he sure seems like a goddamned nightmare.

In February, when Davis found out that she was considering this, he immediately retained Jonathan Mitchell, who is the architect of the Texas law and also the absolute spitting image of Robert, the haunted Edwardian-era doll who destroys the lives of Florida tourists who disrespect him.

He seems nice, eh? Actually, no, and it looks like the poor woman made the best decision to have the abortion and prevent herself from being permanently tied to Collin Davis, who seems like a real asshat.

Men must be governed. They must. That is true. Men must be governed. Ideally, men would govern themselves … but when you don’t have a populace capable of self-governance—when the fruit of the Spirit that is self-control has left the building for decades, and nobody seems to have it—then men must be governed. And if they will not govern themselves, someone else needs to govern them.

- Joel Webbon, a Christian nationalist pastor at Covenant Bible Church in Texas

Trump-supporting candidates hold friendly chats with podcaster who praised Nazi book burnings:

Ya know, I may have mentioned this a time or six previously, but Stew Peters is kind of a dick:

Multiple Republican candidates for Congress this fall are facing backlash over recent interviews with Stew Peters, a podcaster who has called Judaism "a death cult," said Black people are genetically prone to crime and "God hates" gay people, while calling for the hanging of Anthony Fauci, promoting the QAnon and "pizzagate" conspiracy theories and arguing the Earth is actually flat.

Peters, who has praised Nazi book burnings and suggested Hitler may have been unfairly maligned, recently sat down for an interview with Arizona Republican state Sen. Anthony Kern in the state Senate's broadcast studio. That decision that led the Legislature to ban Kern from using its broadcast equipment. Kern, who is running in a crowded GOP primary to represent Arizona's 8th Congressional District, did not get Trump's endorsement, but he was indicted for acting as a fake elector in 2020 and has boasted about his ties to Trump.

It can be hard to discern whether Peters is just that dickish, or whether he’s playing to his base of race-baiting, neo-Nazi, White Conservative Christian Cisgender Heterosexual Patriots.

Or worse, both.

Meantime, Mark Burns, a Trump-endorsed pastor running in the GOP primary for South Carolina’s 3rd Congressional District, also appeared on Peters’ show this week. In his interview, Burns condemned transgender people as an “evil from the gates of hell” and said a recent House bill that targets antisemitism may be a sign that the Antichrist is coming. 

These aren't isolated incidents. A recent New York Times article about pro-Israel Republicans using antisemitic rhetoric noted that multiple Republicans have appeared on Peters' show in recent years, including former Texas Reps. Louie Gohmert and Pete Sessions and Arizona Rep. Paul Gosar.

I suppose we could give Peters a bit of credit for being unapologetically who he is: a racist prick who (without justification) elevates himself over virtually everyone else in the human race. Have you seen the guy? He’s not exactly übermensch material, if you know what I mean.

As for the other non-entities who have appeared on his show, they’re not heavy hitters in the GOP. They’re also racist pricks and ignorant irritants who contribute nothing to Congress save for keeping a seat warm.

Kristi Noem's Dog Murder Story Somehow Worse Than We Knew And other tales of the nation's most psychopathic governor:

You had to know that the story of Gov. Noem shooting her dog and goat wasn’t the only crazy shit in her past, right? Well, it turns out it wasn’t.

Good Lord, y’all; is this woman a sociopath or what??

Then there was the time that Noem’s negligence almost caused a massive traffic accident, which is a weird story to include in a book that you were hoping makes you look like a competent leader. It came when she and her daughter were pulling a flatbed trailer from Tennessee back to South Dakota. Someone else had supposedly hitched the trailer to the truck for the drive, which one would think a driver might want to double-check before starting a thousand-mile drive:

“I made the mistake of not checking the hitch, but just jumped into the truck at six a.m. and hit the interstate headed out of Nashville. About ten minutes into the drive, going seventy miles per hour in eight lanes of crowded traffic, we hit a bump, and the trailer came unhitched. The heavy hitch slammed onto the asphalt, sparks flew everywhere, and the back end of the truck fishtailed almost out of control!”

Somehow Noem wrestled the truck to the side of the road before the trailer could turn into an unguided rocket bouncing around in traffic:

“Gosh, Kass, we could have killed so many people,” Noem recalls saying as she shook her head “in disbelief.”

“I know,” Kass replied, according to Noem. “Thank God we didn’t.”

All of this begs the question: How long has Kristi Noem been off her Thorazine?

Read the Full Transcripts of Donald Trump’s Interviews With TIME:

Why Lord Stumblefuck would give an interview to any publication these days defies rational explanation. For reasons known only to himself, he sat down with TIME Magazine to discuss his plans for turning AmeriKKKa into a wholly-owned subsidiary of the Trump Organization.

It was every bit as unhinged as one might have expected. “Wide-ranging” tends to be code for “Holy fucknuts, this guy wants to be the one with his finger on the nuclear trigger? He’s totally out of his fucking mind!” Yeah, something like that.

Former President Donald Trump sat down for a wide-ranging interview with TIME at his Mar-a-Lago Club in Palm Beach, Fla., on April 12, and a follow-up conversation by phone on April 27.

Over the course of the interviews, Trump discussed his agenda for a second term, which includes deporting millions of people, cutting the U.S. civil service, and intervening more directly in Justice Department prosecutions than his predecessors. He also discussed his thinking on other issues, including abortion, crime, trade, Ukraine, Israel, and the prospects for political violence in this election cycle.

TIME said that the interview transcript was “lightly edited for clarity,” probably to make him sound less incoherent and demented. They also included a handy fact-check of the interview. Pity the poor fool who had to handle that bit of dumbshittery, eh?

There was no word on whether the TIME interviewers thought to keep a running tally of how many lies Trump told during the interview.

Marjorie Taylor Greene Nails Her 95 Feces To Mike Johnson's Church Door:

One could call Rep. Marjorie Trailer Greene (R-GA) many things, but “committed to doing what’s right by America” probably isn’t on the list. “Chaos agent” almost certainly is. She gets her talking points directly from Vladimir Putin.

Though she’ll never be known for being a legislative powerhouse, she excels at buggering things up. She’s the grain of sand in the gears of Congress, ensuring nothing happens.

And so it was when she put forward a motion to remove Speaker of the House Mike Johnson (R-LA) from his post. In a bipartisan show of force to slap her down, Democrats joined Republicans to defeat her motion resoundingly.

[I]t was reported that Marjorie Taylor Greene and her one friend Rep. Thomas Massie — whose face looks like a pair of torn, stretched-out and yellowed grandpa-sized tighty-whities left out during a thunderstorm — would be meeting with House Speaker Mike Johnson today to determine whether she’d be releasing the hostages and dropping her motion to vacate Johnson’s speakership. Yes, even though we already know the Democrats made a deal to save Johnson’s ass in exchange for direly necessary Ukraine aid, because even in a Republican House, Democrats can’t help but win. (Of course, there is some concern that if that came to pass, more Republicans could revolt, blah blah blah.)

They also met yesterday, and Greene said afterward that nothing has changed. "I have been patient. I have been diligent. I have been steady. And I have been focused on the facts. And none of that has changed,” said Greene, who thinks she’s in control here….

[E]xtremist lunatic Mike Johnson isn’t against Marjorie Taylor Greene’s Nazi fantasies per se. It’s just that he learned how to count in preschool and he hasn’t looked back since.

Yo, Marge—if you don’t mind, the adults in the room would like to get some shit done now, ‘kay??

For Laura Loomer, a Trump comeback is everything:

How sad and pathetic are you when your career hangs on hatred, racism, conspiracy theories, and demonizing Islam? If you’re Laura Loomer, you’re pretty g—d——d pathetic, because that’s literally all you have to offer.

(Far-right activist Laura Loomer in Vero Beach, FL—Jacob M. Langston for The Washington Post)

Loomer, a far-right activist and former Republican congressional candidate, has plenty of evidence that Trump likes her. There are all the times he’s boosted her videos on Truth Social. There was the event last summer, at Trump’s New Jersey golf club, when the former president spotted Loomer on the rope line and invited her onto his private balcony. There was the shout-out at a rally in Iowa, in January, when Trump praised her as “a very important person, politically.” There were the former president’s invitations to fly on Trump Force One, his Boeing 757 — Loomer remembers being a passenger three times, Trump aides recall only two….

he’s been working toward a second coming of Trump on her own, as something of a cheerleader-slash-opposition researcher. Loomer has made Trump’s causes her own since 2015, when Trump accused Mexico of sending “rapists” across the border and called for a “complete and total shutdown” of Muslims entering the United States. That kind of incendiary rhetoric didn’t keep Trump out of the White House, but Loomer’s anti-Islam utterances, among other alleged terms-of-use violations, cost her access to Facebook, Instagram and Twitter. She can’t use Lyft or Uber (including Uber Eats) because she criticized the companies for employing “Islamic immigrant driver[s].” (“I’m not anti-Muslim,” she told me, “but I am anti-Islam.”) She claims PayPal, Venmo, Cash App and GoFundMe also booted her.

She seems nice, yeah? But what do you do when you’re so hatefully hyperbolic that you’re too much, even for most of MAGA Nation? When even those whose trademark is hatred, racism, and religious bigotry want nothing to do with you?

In a recent post on X, Daily Wire CEO Jeremy Boreing called Loomer “occasionally effective,” if also “occasionally hyperbolic” and “prone to seeing correlation as causation and connection as conspiracy.”

One Republican operative refers to Loomer as a “political science experiment gone wrong…what happens when you take a gadfly and inject it with that radioactive waste from Godzilla.” And this is someone who doesn’t necessarily reject her out of hand.

Even Steve Bannon, someone who appreciates extremism, says that TrumpWorld thinks of Loomer as “a grenade with a pin in it.”

Man, with friends like that, who needs enemas, right?

Tune in next time when we might learn if Trump Diapers © will be the next big hit in Maga Nation. With Lord Stumblefuck already making incontinence trendy among the Far-Right’s cognoscenti, Trump Diapers © may provide the Trump 2024 campaign the financial boost it sorely needs.

We may also learn who Trump’s VP candidate will be. The smart money in Las Vegas is currently undecided between Charles Manson and Ted “Unabomber” Kaczynski, with Caitlyn Jenner and Laura Loomer being dark horses.

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