Good v. Evil? Nah, It's FAR More Important Than That.
It's not just soccer; Portland v. Seattle is for bragging rights and a chance to shut up the arrogant supporters from the fishing village to the north.
Tomorrow afternoon will provide soccer fans with the next chapter in what, in my estimation, is the greatest rivalry in North American soccer: Portland Timbers FC (PTFC) v. Seattle Sounders FC. It’s the latest renewal of a mutual hatefest that goes back to 1975 and the days of the old North American Soccer League (NASL). The rivalry continued through the United Soccer League (USL) and into its current iteration in Major League Soccer (MLS).
To say that the Timbers/Sounders rivalry is contentious is like saying you don’t get along with your Trump-loving cousin. He’s the one who always wears the MAGA hat and screams, “MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN” whenever you come to Thanksgiving or Christmas dinner. So yeah, he represents Sounders FC supporters for those of us here in Portland.
The fan bases and coaching staffs don’t like one another, and the players…well, they aren’t exchanging birthday cards or Christmas gifts. There’s a healthy respect, but each team and fan base HATES it when the other side wins a trophy.
PTFC fans would be upset if the team missed the playoffs, but if Sounders FC went 0-34, it would still be a VERY good season.
The Timbers were the first to win an MLS Championship when they beat Columbus 2-1 in 2015, a moment I still remember as if it was yesterday. It was a thrill unlike anything I’ve experienced in my life. The team practically shut down Portland International Airport when they returned home with the MLS Cup. I remember that day well; I was working at the airport then, and it was deliriously crazy in a way that hasn’t happened before or since.
Ironically, the goalkeeper who screwed up and gave Portland their first goal, Steve Clark, ended up coming to Portland a couple of years later and played for the Timbers in the 2021 MLS Cup (a loss in penalty kicks to NYCFC ).
Seattle won their first in 2016, which then became part of both sides engaging in a spirited game of “Anything you can do, I can do better.” Seattle now has two MLS Cups and has enjoyed a bit more success overall. Portland has taken pride in being a thorn in the Sounders’ side, as in when PTFC knocked them out of the playoffs in 2018 en route to the MLS Cup Final (a 2-0 loss to Atlanta United FC).
It’s a constant back and forth, with the next match always presenting an opportunity to seek redress for past injustices. And there’s never any lack of perceived transgressions.
Some aspects of the rivalry can be petty, but when you have 50 years of hostility to fall back on, neither side wants to yield ground for any reason.
Earlier this year, Seattle coach Brian Schmetzer smugly congratulated the NYCFC coach on beating Portland in last year’s MLS Cup Final. The conversation between the two had an “anyone but Portland tone.” Schmetzer was born and grew up in Seattle, played for Sounders FC, was an assistant, and is now the head coach for the team, so his attachment to the rivalry is understandable.
As much as I respect Schmetzer, I wanted to slap that holier-than-thou smile off his face. I suspect I wasn’t the only person in Portland who felt that way.
Don’t get me wrong; I love Seattle. And I HATE Seattle. It’s a beautiful city with many great things going for it. And it has some of the most pompous, arrogant, self-absorbed soccer fans anywhere in North America. It’s as if they feel that success and championships are their birthright. Yeah, that’s some-world-class hubris.
Vancouver, BC, PTFC’s other adversary for the Cascadia Cup and a huge rival, is a much different- and friendlier- animal. I’ve been to Vancouver for games on three occasions, and each time has been enjoyable. Whitecaps FC supporters are the friendliest opposition supporters I’ve met anywhere. They’ll wish you good luck before a match and drink with you afterward. The one thing we all agree on is that we hate Seattle.
Seattle fans (not all of them, of course) will flip you the bird and tell you to eat shit and die. I’d sooner drink with Tucker Carlson after a match than a group of Sounders fans.
A few years ago, Erin and I went to Seattle for a Timbers-Sounders match. We walked to Pioneer Square in downtown Seattle to watch the Emerald City Supporters group gather for their pre-game march to Century Link Stadium. I was wearing a Timbers shirt because I like to be a contrarian (that’s how I roll), so I stood out like a sore thumb amongst a few thousand Sounders supporters.
I wasn’t too worried because all I was doing was taking photos and minding my own business. Then, a Sounders supporter walked up to me and challenged me to a fight. I couldn’t control my reaction and busted out laughing, which I don’t think my wannabe adversary was expecting. Still chuckling, I looked at him and said, “Hey, man, it’s just a game.” At this point, several people around us stepped in and pulled the guy away. I was never in danger, but I couldn’t help thinking that nothing like that had happened to me, not even when I was in England and hooligans were still a problem.
More than anything, though, I hate the Sounders’ kits- the “Rave Green” (what the Hell even IS that?) atrocities that are the fugliest uniforms in professional sports- bar none. Whoever designed their uniforms must have been an art school dropout coming off a weekend-long acid trip.
Ugh….
Of course, as much as I love PTFC, I don’t love their green and gold kits, but at least they’re not that fugly damned vomit-inducing “rave green.”
Who knows what tomorrow’s match will bring, but I suspect it will be 90 intense minutes with a few yellow cards and perhaps even a red or two (or four, as happened to Seattle in a US Open Cup match a few years ago.). But, whatever happens, it won’t be dull, and it won’t be quiet. Not with 30,000+ fans on hand at CenturyLink Stadium (or whatever they’re calling it these days) in the fishing village to our north.
And we get to do it again in Portland on August 26th. Erin and I will be there since we have season tickets. That will be an opportunity for 25,000 PTFC supporters to engage in a bit of catharsis and a good, cleansing 90-minute Hate.
I’d expect nothing less from the most intense rivalry in North American soccer.
My amazing and talented friend, have you considered cross posting to Medium? They do a lot of political stuff there. Might be a good fit for you.