Hail Mary, Full Of Grace, Kick Those Assholes Into Space

The Supreme Court loses what little credibility it had left

5 “And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full. 6 But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you. 7 And when you pray, do not keep on babbling like pagans, for they think they will be heard because of their many words. 8 Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him.

• Matthew 6:5-8, NIV

Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life….

Growing up, the ritual that began every school day was standing at attention with our right hand over our hearts as we recited the Pledge of Allegiance. I understood what it meant, but even at 10, I knew it was an inconsequential word salad. It was a meaningless, rote formality we had to endure before starting our day of goofing off and shooting spitballs into Mary Schneider’s hair.

The same was true during the three years or so that my parents made me go to Sunday School. Those Sunday mornings began reciting the Lord’s Prayer, which I became so bored with that I mentally rewrote it in an incredibly obscene fashion. Then I spent an hour trying to stay awake as the teacher regaled us with tales of Jesus riding into Bethlehem on a dinosaur or a Ford F-150; I can never remember.

My point is that the forced recitation of anything eventually strips the words of meaning or value. It becomes a worthless word salad useful only to those enforcing the ceremony. Those vomiting the phrase for the 3,274th time are spewing forth the words to get on with things.

Whether we’re talking about the enforced recitation of a loyalty oath (the Pledge of Allegiance), a declaration of fidelity to an imaginary being you don’t believe in (The Lord’s Prayer), or a blood oath to Lord Xenu, the results are the same. Anything that comes from a place of coercion can’t be assumed to be convincing or heartfelt.

This brings me to Kennedy v. Bremerton School District, one of the Supreme Court’s rulings this week that has turned America on its metaphorical ear. The Cliff Notes version of Kenney v. Bremerton involved a former assistant football coach at Bremerton (WA) High School.

The court ruled that it was constitutional for Joe Kennedy to hold public prayers with student football players after games. The Bremerton school district had initially asked him to stop the public prayers when the district raised concerns about the separation of Church and State.

I recognize those high school activities aren’t about me or the other adults, or even the teachers and coaches. The games are for the kids — the players on the field, the band and the students in the stands. And it’s those kids who have been largely left out of the conversation about the Supreme Court case Kennedy v. Bremerton School District, which has hung over our community for more than six years.

I’m disappointed, though not terribly surprised, that the court found Monday that it was OK for the team’s former coach, Joseph Kennedy, to hold public prayers with student players on the 50-yard line after football games. In their 6-3 decision along ideological lines, the justices undermined the religious freedom of public school students in favor of those of their adult coach. I’m very concerned that public school teachers and coaches now won’t know where the line is between their private prayers and public religious displays that students will feel pressured to join.

Those words are from a Bremerton parent whose child played football under Kennedy. While this parent respected Kennedy and his right to practice his faith, he was concerned that some students might have felt that the prayers weren’t voluntary and that they were expected to participate.

Could that implied expectation adversely impact a student-athlete who declined to participate? Might it affect their playing time? Or would it result in harassment from Coach Kennedy or other players? Teenagers, who feel tremendous pressure to conform under the best of circumstances, might believe they have no choice but to give in and participate in public prayer.

But what if Coach Kennedy was a Muslim? A Jew? Or a Satanist? Would the Supreme Court have still ruled in his favor? With this Conservative Christian Court, I don’t believe there’s any doubt but that the answer would be a pronounced “NO!”

I’ll leave that there for your consideration. You’re welcome.

(Yes, I do. Quelle surprise.)

The duty of public schools is to educate children. Religious indoctrination is the province of churches. Of course, nothing prevents Kennedy from sharing his faith and praying with his players on Sunday morning if they choose to participate. Doing so on public property paid for by taxpayer dollars is wrong and it violates the separation of Church and State.

I don’t care what this Supreme Court says; they lack legitimacy and credibility. This case is a clear violation of the separation of Church and State and it has the stamp of approval from the Supreme Court.

And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by others. I can’t speak to Kennedy’s motives, but if he read his Bible, he’d find this just before The Lord’s Prayer.

Kennedy may have thought he was standing up for his faith, his principles, or something else I can’t divine, but the truth is that he’s a hypocrite. He’s no better than Sen. Ted Cruz (R-TX) and other Right-wing charlatans more interested in publicity and notoriety than the teachings of Jesus Christ.

It wasn’t until 2015 that I, along with most of the community (and the rest of the country, once he started holding news conferences), learned that Kennedy often included Christian prayers in those postgame team meetings.

The news conferences usually give it away, no?

Kennedy undoubtedly got caught up in the publicity and the Conservative legal groups rallying to his cause. As a result, his public prayer became more of a continuous photo op than a principled stand, and I suspect he may have even managed to monetize his struggle. I don’t know that to a certainty, but Conservatives always seem to throw money at their heroes.

But he crossed a line when he started praying with students — with other people’s children.

Teenagers see coaches as authority figures who determine playing time and influence how well they interact with the rest of their teammates, their friends. When Kennedy met with the entire team on the field immediately following games, with the community watching, it would have been incredibly hard for a teenager, any teenager, to refuse to participate, even if Kennedy’s prayers conflicted with the student’s personal religious beliefs. I feel for any kids, especially religious minorities or nonreligious kids, who participated because they thought it was the only way to be a good teammate, to impress their coach and to be included as part of the team.

It’s not the job of coaches or teachers to lead schoolchildren in prayer or coerce them, whether explicitly or implicitly, to join in religious activities. Students and their families, not public school employees, get to decide their religious practices and beliefs. Religious indoctrination is not the instruction that I or the parents I know want the public school involved in.

This isn’t about religious faith's appropriateness (or lack of same). It’s about the inappropriateness and unconstitutionality of coaches praying on public school property after football games. I believe that people should have the right to practice their faith- BUT I DON’T BELIEVE PUBLIC TAX DOLLARS SHOULD SUBSIDIZE THAT WORSHIP.

That’s the role churches should fill.

And any religious activity conducted by public school employees that might intimidate or coerce students into participation is wrong and runs counter to the separation of Church and State. Again, I’m not a constitutional lawyer, but in this case, I don’t think you have to be; it’s that clear.

If this past week wasn’t an argument for expanding the Court to cancel out the corruption and ideological imbalance within it, I don’t know what would be.

Dear Lord, thank you for helping us crush our opponent and win tonight's game. We pray that You, in Your wisdom, will render our opponents infertile and their future wives barren. May their crops wither in the field, and their wells run bone dry. May their enemies run them through, and may they die cold and alone on the field of battle as rodents gnaw at their flesh.

And may the evil Green Bay Packers never win another Super Bowl. For thou art the Power and the Glory and the Bestest bookie in Las Vegas.

Amen.