Happy Pride Month....

But we should remember that rainbows aren't just for June

Every June, thousands of businesses and millions of Americans suddenly become allies of the LGBTQ+ community. That’s a wonderful thing; it would be even better if that allyship and consciousness extended beyond June 30th. For 30 days, it seems as if rainbow flags are everywhere. Acceptance is the buzzword, and “love is love” fills the air as companies sell rainbow-themed…well, everything.

With June ending tomorrow, it’s a good time to ask what happens on Thursday, when the calendar flips over to July. Do we pack up our rainbows and move on to the next cause? Or do we use June as a springboard for maintaining the raised consciousness of the need to protect LGBTQ+ rights for the other 11 months?

While 30 days of acceptance and tolerance is an excellent thing, I’m increasingly concerned about the ANTI-LGBTQ+ sentiment around the country. Non-cisgender voices continue to gain traction. Unfortunately, so do more hateful voices who believe sex should be vanilla, gender should be binary, and marriage should be between one humanoid possessing a penis and another possessing a vagina.

Well, guess what, y’all? I freely admit to not owning a deep understanding of much of what’s happening today, but I know enough to understand that gender and sexuality aren’t (and can’t be) one-size-fits-all. What works for me may not be what fits someone else’s needs and desires.

It’s pretty simple, at least from where I sit. Too many folks seem to feel they have the right to be up in other people’s business. The truth is that how a person defines themself and what they do with other consenting adults is no one else’s damned business.

I may not possess a firm grasp of many of the issues facing the LGBTQ+ community…but I don’t necessarily need to. No one else is responsible for making me feel comfortable or more knowledgeable. It’s up to me to educate myself to what degree I can. Beyond that, it’s my responsibility to support my fellow human beings as they strive to become their most authentic selves.

I’m a pretty vanilla heterosexual male, but there are people in my life who color outside those lines…and I’m OK with that. I love them for who they are, for being people of good character, and for being dependable friends. Who they sleep with and what they do behind closed doors is their own private concern and of no concern to me. If they’re happy, I’m happy…and Lord knows we’re not exactly suffering from an oversupply of happiness these days.

You don’t have to support the LGBTQ+ community. You can be profoundly ambivalent. You may even be disgusted and repulsed by whatever it is you think they do. That’s your prerogative and your right. What you don’t have the right to do is attempt to encode that revulsion as statute law. Your morality is no more or less superior to those whose only “crime” is living and loving differently than what you define as “appropriate” and/or “proper.”

You have every right to oppose same-sex marriage. That said, there’s a simple solution available to you: If someone of the same gender proposes to you, say “NO!” Problem solved, eh?? That’s as far as your rights and influence go. Being a White, heterosexual, socially conservative Christian doesn’t come with the right to use your morality or “religious faith” as a club with which to bludgeon those who do not share them.

In the end, it’s about understanding that not everyone believes, lives, and/or loves in the same way as anyone else. That’s not a bad thing. Different isn’t bad. It’s just different. No one else is responsible for conforming to your definition of morality or propriety. Nor are they liable for whatever offense you may take over whom and/or how they choose to love.

The short version: It’s none of your business.

There’s another way to look at this issue. How does society NOT benefit from stable, long-term relationships, regardless of how those relationships are constituted? Studies have long demonstrated that people in committed, long-term relationships live longer. They tend to be healthier, require less medical care, and suffer fewer mental health issues. So, from a public health and cost/benefit standpoint, stable, long-term relationships are a net benefit to society. It turns out that how and/or who one loves is of far less importance than the fact that one does love.

How about, instead of hating and reviling those who fall short of our definition of “normal” when it comes to gender, sexuality, and/or relationships, we meet them where they are? How about we celebrate them as autonomous, complete individuals capable of love and affection…instead of rejecting them for “what” they are?

People are people. Love is love. The sooner we can see our way clear to understanding and accepting that, the sooner we can start valuing each other for our shared humanity. We don’t have to agree with, accept, or approve of the things others may do or how they identify. How others live and/or love isn’t going to materially impact the quality of our lives. It’s not going to degrade our morality or our religious faith…and if it does, that’s a “YOU” problem you might want to look into.

The sooner we accept that in America each of us has the right to be who we are, the better off we’ll be. Each of us has the right to live our truth. We can love whom we choose…and we can choose to commit to the person we love, regardless of who that person may be.

THAT’S what freedom means, yet there are far too many who would deny that freedom to others because it falls outside their comfort zone. True freedom isn’t about making others comfortable, though. It’s about being who you are, even as you know that some folks may be profoundly disturbed by that.

As for Pride Month, let’s hope that these 30 days will have convinced a few more people and companies that being an ally means being there for more than just one month every summer. It means being committed to doing the right thing for the right reasons 24/7/365. It means standing with the LGBTQ+ community as you would with anyone else…because they deserve the right to be and to feel supported every day. It means caring about more than just their money. It means putting an end to “rainbow washing.”

Rainbows are a wonderful thing, but we shouldn’t forget what they stand for. Perhaps someday, we’ll no longer need a Pride Month, but for now, we still do. It should remind us that the rest of the year is also important for LGBTQ+ rights.

Because LGBTQ+ rights are human rights.