He Gets Us, but YERDOONITRONG

Remember, you ain't a Christian until One Million Moms says you are

ObamaCare is, really, I think the worst thing that has happened in this nation since slavery - and it is slavery, in a way, because it is making all of us subservient to the government. It was never about health care; it was about control.

• Ben Carson

If anyone had doubted how thoroughly divided America is today, all you had to do was listen to the Sturm und Drang over the foot-washing commercial done by He Gets Us. In addition to spending $14 million to convert America to Christianity by telling us that Jesus washed his disciples’ feet, it served to divide serious Christians from Christofascists.

By that, I mean those Christians who seriously endeavor to live their faith and lead Christ-like lives understood the ad's message. They got it. So, in that sense, the ad was preaching to the choir. Then there were the Christofascists, those who call themselves Christians but who worship America first and Jesus Christ a distant second.

Yeah, they know who they are….

And they were all sorts of upset about the ad.

You know, they say the country is divided, and in many ways, the Super Bowl made that all the more apparent this year. But there was one thing that pretty much everyone could agree on — and that was that we all really, really hated the He Gets Us ad. You know, the one with all the foot washing.

There was a cop washing a Black man’s feet, and other Nice Christians washing the feet of a Native American man, a woman who had an abortion, a girl who just kind of looks like she’s really into ska, a girl who had an abortion, an alcoholic, a hippie environmentalist lady, an immigrant, a Muslim, a girl protesting for free speech washing the feet of a girl protesting in favor of ‘cancel culture,’ a Black man and a white man washing their feet together in a bucket in Appalachia, a white Catholic priest washing the feet of a Black person who had been rollerskating all day in cutoff short-alls and who is clearly meant to register as queer in some nonspecific respect … followed up by the message that JESUS DIDN’T TEACH HATE, HE WASHED FEET.

Even as an atheist, I could get behind that idea. Jesus was teaching his disciples that leaders SERVE those they lead. The ad was attempting to convey that humans come in all shapes, sizes, colors, and…well, you know, we’re supposed to love another….

But there was more to it than that.

Those of us on the Left hated it because as progressive and queer-friendly as it was trying to be, we knew the He Gets Us campaign was a cynical evangelizing ploy initially created by Servant Foundation, a group that donated millions to the Alliance Defending Freedom and other anti-LGBTQ and anti-abortion hate groups. The campaign is now managed by a group called Come Near. While not much is known about Come Near, we do know that one of the people sitting on its board is Mart Green, the son of Hobby Lobby founder David Green. Not a great sign!

But even the idea that He Gets Us might’ve been trying to send the message that Jesus loves all of us weirdos was more than some good, God-fearing, White Conservative Christian Cisgender Heterosexuals could handle.

And those on the Right hated it because Jesus did so teach hate and he would have been really really mean to all of those people!

Among those raging over it were the One Million Moms Who Are Actually Just One Mom Named Monica Cole.

Monica Cole was specifically upset that while the minute-long ad mentioned Jesus’s love, it did not “share the Gospel” or tell people about how much Jesus hated sinning.

But, of course, some folks can’t sell Jesus to those who aren’t members of the club without telling them what horrible, nasty, awful sinners they are and that if they don’t join Team Jesus, they’ll roast in Hell for like…well, forever.

And Ms. Cole is one of those Christians who, for whatever reason, could suck the joy out of a screaming orgasm.

Verily, any converts who accept Jesus as their personal savior must first be told what shitty, miserable, worthless people they are. Only then, when their self-esteem is shattered and they’re at their lowest, will they be prepared to accept Jesus into their lives.

WTF is that all about?

The He Gets Us movement mainly focuses on the love of Jesus. Yet no matter how true the message is about the love of Jesus and loving our neighbor, this is not the entire mission, message, or teaching of Jesus Christ. It totally leaves out why, as the Son of God, Jesus came to save sinners. The Gospel message must be shared: Jesus is the only way to be saved. […]

The website fails to mention individual accountability for sin – and the subsequent need for repentance for those sins. So once again, He Gets Us shares an incomplete message.

So, those who are ready to believe in Jesus Christ have to realize that Christians are superior human beings and that, in their current state, they’re just living pieces of shit because they live in a state of sin?

Now there’s a message that will sell, eh?

What I do find continually astounding is the absolute desperation some people have to not only be able to be shitty to people, but for the mandated response to that shittiness to be “Wow, what a fabulous, kind, Christlike person you are!” They want their bullying, for lack of a better word, to be seen as a good deed on par with helping the unhoused or rescuing someone from a burning building.

So many of the comments on the YouTube page for the ad are along the lines of “Actually Jesus wanted us to be cruel to these people so they’d stop SINNING! Don’t you see we are helping them?” There really is nothing people fear losing quite like they fear losing their ability to be an asshole with impunity.

As grotesque as this ad and the organization behind it are, we do have to salute them for making all these people say the quiet parts out loud.

People like Monica Cole believe that by treating people like shit and convincing them of their unworthiness, only then will they be worthy of the Kingdom of Heaven?

Wow, sign me up…not.

On the One Million Moms website is an article that lays out the group’s (Ms. Cole’s) gripes with the ad. And One Million Moms believes that He Get Us is approaching salvation ass-backward. They even include a handy little video from their partner organization, the American Family Association (which is to Christianity what Donald Trump is to integrity and abortion rights):

Uncle Bert teaches us every Sunday School lesson we’ve ever heard…though he does use the word “climax.”

So, there’s that.

According to One Million Moms, though, Uncle Bert’s message- the one where we learn what dirty, awful sinners we unsaved sorts are- is the one we should be listening to instead of the happy crap He Gets Us is blowing up our backsides.

So now we have people telling those who may have decided that Christianity is for them that, oh, sorry, YERDOONITRONG!!! And it occurs to me that the question of whether you’re doing it correctly or incorrectly is just about the stupidest goddamned thing ever.

And people wonder why I’m an atheist.

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