Hell Has Been Breached And Satan Roams The Earth In Search Of Souls
A bit dramatic, I know, but I had to get your attention somehow
I’m proud to say I didn’t watch Orange Jesus’ proclamation of his resurrection. I’ve seen no news reports, pundit analyses, or teasers scrolling across my iPhone, iPad, or MacBook. That’s pretty unusual for someone as connected to the 24-hour news cycle as I usually am. But there’s a straightforward explanation:
I don’t give a f**k.
Yes, that’s right, Virginia, IDGAF. Donald Trump could’ve buggered a goat throughout his declaration of victimhood/sainthood/intent to rule the world, and I wouldn’t have noticed. His importance these days seems to be hovering somewhere well below zero, and 2024 seems a long way off.
So, please, someone tell me why I should care about The Worst President EVER?
Orange Jesus has roughly the same chance of wearing an orange jumpsuit at the federal lockup in Sheridan, just west of Portland, in 2024 as he does of running for President. Maybe he’ll be fortunate enough to get a job in the optical lab there. At least he’d finally be doing something productive.
Anyone wanna take bets on his future? I’m laying even money at the moment, but I’m thinking the odds will move toward prison reasonably soon.
Of course, I suspect the mainstream media is falling all over itself analyzing the meaning of it all, which is why I’m currently listening to my playlist of Texas country musicians instead of watching MSNBC as per usual.
Then there are the Trump-humpers who are having spontaneous orgasms. These guys are so happy they almost don’t need the hookers underneath their desks.
Yes, Donald Trump will always have his cult. When he dies- and yes, he WILL die- I suspect his funeral procession will be followed by thousands of red-hatted rubes crying their eyes out as they fear for the future of the Republic. Whatever; we’ll get by.
Somehow.
Yeah, there’s always Don Jr. and Eric, who between them don’t have the IQ of a Tenga egg, but their last name IS Trump, so that’ll certainly help, right?
Of course, Fuentes is the same person who wants to turn America into a dictatorship where everyone follows his rules- or else- so maybe he should just STFU and quit while he’s not so far behind, eh?
So, Orange Jesus can do whatever it is he can do. It’s all about his massive untamed ego, anyway. The only reason he’s declared for the Presidency this far out is because he’s feeling ignored. He has a Minimum Daily Requirement of Attention and Adulation for his heart and brain to function at even minimal levels, and he’s probably been feeling a bit desperate of late.
Now that he’s a declared candidate, he can pull all sorts of shitty stuns, say all manner of stupid things, and still count on the mainstream press broadcast his every action and pronouncement as if they matter. Of course, they don’t and won’t, but that’s beside the point. It’s the face and air time that counts and provides him the life force he craves.
Meanwhile, Trump will try to convince the American sheeple that his lying, insurrection-fomenting, twice-impeached ass is worthy of another shot at destroying the Constitution in favor of absolute power. After all, power is good, but absolute power can be fun in an orgiastic and orgasmic kind of way.
Not that I would know, of course- I’ve heard that from sources who would know.
Yeah, who needs democracy anyway? This country needs an interesting and corrupt dynasty- like the Romanovs, only without the archaic morals and clothes.
It’s been said that justice delayed is justice denied. I don’t know who said that; maybe I saw it on a bumper sticker somewhere, but before Merrick Garland became Attorney General, justice seemed to be sort of a thing.
Now the Justice Department seems genuinely terrified to indict anyone whose last name is Trump, which makes me wonder what Orange Jesus has on Garland. Hookers? Sex tapes? Other “kompromat?” Whatever the case, it appears that someone will find Jimmy Hoffa’s body before Garland will authorize the indictment of anyone from the Trump Crime Syndicate.
Who said justice is blind? She just has cameras in the right bedrooms.
Hey, if the first time didn’t end the way you wanted it to, why not try again? If 30,000+ lies didn’t work during your first term, perhaps 40,000+ will during the next go-round?
And why not weaponize the IRS? Strategic auditing of your political enemies might ensure that you keep those folks silent. And if you can also wrap your hands around the Justice Department, you might make all those nasty and inconvenient investigations disappear, even as you target more of your enemies.
LOCK ‘EM UP might become a brilliant and effective new strategy as you work to establish your new autocracy.
Hey, it’s worked for Iran and Saudi Arabia.
Of course, the elephant in the room is the man’s age. When the 2024 election arrives, Orange Jesus will be pushing 80, which in Trump years is around-the-f*****g-bend. Those who questioned Joe Biden’s sanity will no doubt proclaim that Donald Trump is every bit as sane as their Uncle Ed. Wasn’t he the one who rode naked through downtown on a Shetland pony as he shot out street lights and truck tires?
Yeah, that sounds about right.
If Biden was held to a standard, then Trump should be held to that same standard- because the problem is that Trump IS batshit crazy. And he thinks he deserves to be the one with his finger on the nuclear trigger?
That thought alone should scare the bejeesus out of any sane, rational American.
There’s only one campaign slogan I want to see now:
TRUMP FOR PRISON 2022, 2023, or ASAP!!!
