"He's working fer God, ferdarnsure...."

If Donald Trump is a godly man, I'm the Queen of Sweden...and I look terrible in a tiara and an evening dress

If there’s one through-line tying together the career of Donald Trump that could be summed up in a single word, that would be “failure.” And not just “Oops, I did it again” fuckups; no, we’re talking epic, “somebody’s going to lose their kid’s college fund” kind of screw-up.

It’s hard to know where to start, but Steven Colbert had no such problem:

“The Late Show” host noted that shares in Trump’s Truth Social website plunged this week, causing the company to lose some $4 billion in value.

“Wow,” Colbert said. “I am actually surprised that Truth Social had value.”

The stock price fell after an SEC filing revealed the company had just $4.1 million in revenue last year and a loss of more than $58 million.

“Truly an historic failure,” Colbert said. “No one has seen a loss this big since the Trump Taj Mahal, Trump Plaza Hotel, Trump Steaks, Trump Airlines, Trump University and Trump, comma, Eric.”

It’s not just the failure, but the scope of the bust. Yet Trump is trying to sell himself to the American people as someone who can “fix” the economy and “make America great again.”

As if we can’t check the record….

In case anyone hasn’t noticed, Joe Biden has spent three-plus years cleaning up the mess that Trump left behind. He’s also done a decent job of putting the economy back on a sound footing and making a dent in America’s infrastructure backlog.

But what DID Trump do during his Reign of Error © beside shit the bed for four years? I ask the question seriously because I can’t think of anything positive. Even Donald Trump must have accomplished something positive, but I’m drawing a blank.

To those of you who may have forgotten what happened when Trump took office in 2017, it was a 24/7/365 shitshow. While things today aren’t perfect, the level of chaos is exponentially lower and the level of professionalism higher. Additionally, competence and order are several orders of magnitude above the constant clusterfuck that was the Trump Show.

Virtually everything Trump did during his term as President or proposes to do during another term trends toward the extreme, leaving little room for compromise. He’s appealing to an outraged, Conservative, White, racist, and exceedingly ignorant base- and even that he manages to mess up, as seen during a recent campaign rally in Green Bay, Wisconsin:

“If your constitutional rights have been violated, we will defend you. If you have illegal aliens invading your home, we will deport you,” the former president said at one point.

That flub, in particular, caught people’s attention.

“So, if illegal immigrants were found at Mar-a-Lago we could deport Trump?” journalist Brian J. Karem wrote on X, formerly Twitter, presumably referencing reports that Trump has employed undocumented workers at several of his businesses, including his Palm Beach, Florida, estate.

Trump reportedly plans to implement an even more extreme anti-immigration agenda in a potential second term, including mass deportations and sending undocumented people to detention camps.

If reelected, Trump told his supporters in Green Bay, “We’re going to end up with the largest deportation in America.”

Yeah, wouldn’t that be something? Because you could bet that if that happened to Joe Biden, the response would be fast and furious.

Git a rope.

Since when is the federal government able to deport American citizens?

Didja ever wonder what MAGAnauts see in Trump? How could someone with the moral and intellectual agility of a nine-iron be so phenomenally popular among those lacking the ability to think and reason rationally?

Well, funny you should ask….

Well, what else would you expect from someone in Coralville, Iowa, who’s probably never left the confines of Johnson County in her life? Donald Trump’s “in there because he’s working for God?”

The men the American people admire most extravagantly are the most daring liars; the men they detest most violently are those who try to tell them the truth.

- H. L. Mencken

Sure, if by “God,” you mean “the Almighty Dollar.” And since when has this narcissistic sociopath (Or is it “sociopathic narcissist?”…I can never remember) EVER done anything for his fawning MAGAnauts? Or God? Even Jeff Tiedrich is wondering WTF is going on here:

Christ on a stale saltine, where do you even start with this lunacy? lady, Donald Trump is a serial blasphemer who only gives a fuck about himself and he spent his entire presidency robbing the country blind— why am I even trying to explain it? this woman is lost. she’s in a cult. she’s never coming back to earth.

the last time a cult leader had this many people so totally fucking bamboozled, hundreds of them ended up dead because they literally drank the Kool-aid.

it’s how we got the expression in the first place.

In the meantime, you’d think Trump, his followers, and the rest of the GOP might want to pay attention to this warning:

Of course, if you’re the sort of person who’d believe both MTG and DJT to be honest, faithful Christians, I have an ice-fishing hut in Gaza I’d love to sell you.

As one who’s good without God, the idea that God would be sending earthquakes and eclipses as warnings to humanity to get our shit together is laughable. What’s next? Famine? Pestilence? The Packers winning the Super Bowl? Ivermectin being confirmed as an effective treatment for COVID-19? Dennis Miller becoming funny? Mike Pence being busted with his pants down and an erection in a gay bath house?

Donald Trump is the answer to no one’s problems- he can’t even fix his own, much less the country’s. With any luck, he’ll be in prison by the time Election Day rolls around, which would be a dream come true for millions of decent, rational Americans? I can hardly wait for someone to make Trump their bitch.

Ah, a boy can dream, no?

In the meantime, we can only hope that his attention and money will be so focused on his legal problems that comparatively little will be left for his campaign.

LOCK HIM UP!!!

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