Hey, ladies...didja know that birth control will make you bitter and vote Democratic?

Charlie Kirk is a birth control expert this week, but I'm not sure he's ever seen a woman naked....

I never cease to marvel at the considerable number of White Conservative Christian Cisgender Heterosexual males who believe they’re far better equipped than women to make decisions regarding reproductive health issues. Yes, indeed; Conservative Penis-Americans determining that they know more about female reproduction than the owners of said female reproductive systems sounds a wee bit presumptive and arrogant…and, yes, you can bet your sweet ass that it is.

The latest front in this battleground appears to be over birth control, where White Conservative Christian Cisgender Heterosexual males are now lecturing women on how bad birth control will do terrible things to them.

Yes, birth control will make you crazy and paranoid. It could even make you vote Democratic and become a Packers fan!! Oh, the humanity!! Oh, I beseech thee in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, JUST SAY NO!!

Not bad for an atheist, eh??

It’s true; the number of White Conservative Christian Cisgender Heterosexual males who last week were structural engineers and have this week become OB-GYNs and experts on birth control has exploded. The transition has been genuinely stunning to witness.

At this moment, there are two kinds of people on the Right. There are those who insist you are ridiculous to suggest that Republicans are coming after birth control, or that you’re simply lying about this in order to make them look bad. Then there are those who are, well, very blatant about the fact that they are coming for your birth control.

Late last month, the Washington Post published an article about the issue of birth control misinformation and the fact that teens are getting bad information from TikTok and other social media, particularly from “influencers” telling them to do the rhythm method instead of taking birth control. This did not go over well with a lot of weirdos on the Right, who all suddenly started talking even more about how much they hate birth control.

Perhaps the most pathetic example of the new trend toward White Conservative Christian Cisgender Heterosexual male expertise in OB-GYN issues is Charlie Kirk, the President of Turning Point USA, which, as far as I can tell, exists to siphon money from Conservative donors.

(Has Kirk ever seen a woman naked? Asking for a friend….)

One of the people who immediately jumped on that train? Charlie Kirk! Kirk went on a real big tirade this week about how birth control “screws up female brains” and “creates very angry and bitter young ladies and young women.”

Transcript via Mediaite:

Abortion’s obviously part of it, but they’ve been sold a lie through culture, through media, through even some of their parents that you basically have to go pursue this corporate trajectory, and that men are always the problem, and suppress your biological impulses. A lot of them are on birth control, too.

And birth control like really screws up female brains, by the way. Every single one of you need to make sure that your loved ones are not on birth control. It increases depression, anxiety, suicidal ideation. Birth control is the number one prescribed medication for young ladies under the age of 25. They will give young ladies birth control for pimples, for acne, to control their moods, their period. It is awful, it’s terrible, and it creates very angry and bitter young ladies and young women. Then that bitterness then manifests into a political party that is the bitter party. I mean, the Democrat [sic] Party is all about “bring us your bitterness and, you know, we’ll give you free stuff.”

Nah, I think the reason Charlie Kirk encounters so many “very anger and bitter young ladies and young women” is that he’s an arrogant, ill-informed moron who says stupid shit like this and can’t understand why women get upset with him.

Gee, Charlie, d’ya think it might have something to do with you being an idiot who talks down to women because you believe being a Penis-American means that you’re intellectually and morally superior to the distaff half of the population?

Or is it because you’ve never seen a woman naked? Again, just asking for a friend….

Of course, when White Conservative Christian Cisgender Heterosexual males hear “birth control,” they tend to think it’s one pill prescribed by evil, Librul doctors who want to kill babies and dispensed by pharmacists who hate the baby Jesus. If only it were that simple.

In fact, there are 259 different types of birth control, and, as with any other medication, one size doesn’t fit all. What causes delusions of grandeur and/or furry palms for one woman may not for another. Birth control, as with any medication, is not a magic pill, and what works for one woman may cause all manner of difficulties for another.

That’s a matter for a woman and her doctor- not a woman, her doctor, and Charlie Kirk, who as far as I know, has never seen a woman naked.

No Christian parent should ever listen to Charlie Kirk, ever. Period. About anything. Scratch that; no parent should ever listen to Charlie Kirk about anything. The man’s an idiot. If your daughter’s listening to him, take away her electronic devices until she promises never to listen to him again.

NOTHING good can come from listening to a moral and intellectual hairball like Kirk…especially one who’s never seen a woman naked.

Also — weren’t you all supposed to be mad about women having lots of children in order to get larger welfare checks? How does that factor in here?

The Federalist also ran multiple articles about how birth control is bad and will make women crazy and unhappy, as well as about how there is some kind of mass coverup going on to keep women on birth control in order to keep them voting for Democrats.

But yes, just for the record, I will absolutely vote for the party that gives people “free stuff” if that free stuff helps them live and eat and otherwise survive.

As much as I wish I were, I am not making that up.

The feminist left hates it. They’re all “pro-choice” until women choose to tell about their adverse experiences with birth control and detoxify their bodies of hormone disruptors. Invoking The Handmaid’s Tale is always in vogue, but Democrats’ ugly little secret is that birth control isn’t just the best way to control reproduction; it’s the best way to control women. The longer women remain single and childless, the longer they tend to be dependents of the state and therefore Democrat voters. The fewer times they go on maternity leave, the more soulless hours they can clock for their corporate bosses.

But Charlie Kirk is here to save our daughters from the evil scourge of birth control so they can have more babies for Jesus and escape the cruel manipulation of Democrats who only want to make them bitter and hand them free stuff.

“Free stuff” doesn’t sound so bad, but Kirk has a way of making it sound like it’s the worst thing to happen since Mitt Romney’s magic underwear stopped working for him just before the 2004 Presidential election.

What free stuff, and how does he tie that in with birth control? Speaking of bitter, forcing young women to give birth sounds a bit controlling, Charles. It sounds like Democratic women have made him bitter. That's because his party is losing with the coveted women's voting bloc. Tough shit, Charles.

One word? Hmm…. Asshole leaps immediately to mind. How about self-righteous? Arrogant? Misogynistic? Ill-informed? Delusional? Dumbass? Virgin?

Meh, I could keep going for a while, but you get the idea. I’m decidedly unimpressed with Charlie Kirk’s intellectual, moral, and theological qualifications…but as an asshole? Yes, indeed; the man’s top-notch.

There’s no arguing that birth control can have side effects, like any medication. But when you have 259 different choices available, that’s why a woman needs to consult with her doctor to make an informed decision- not with Charlie Kirk, who knows fuck-all about birth control…or much of anything else. Besides, the man’s never seen a woman naked.

Charlie Kirk would be over his head if he were the assistant manager at a hot dog stand in Rugby, ND. The fact that he believes he has the intellectual, moral, and scientific heft to lecture women about the dangers of birth control is laughable at best…and just plain stupid and dangerous at worst.

Perhaps he should go back to being an expert on structural engineering- especially since he’s never seen a woman naked.

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