Hypocrite, Charlatan, Impostor, Fraud- Every Republican Accusation Is A Confession

Too much alcohol, a married man, a 19-year-woman, and (probably) coerced sex...what could possibly go wrong?

You’re such an asshole that if they dipped you in Preparation H, you’d disappear.

• Unknown

I’m not prone to claiming that all Republicans are hypocritical assholes, but it’s not a stretch to hold that most hypocritical assholes are Republicans. Yes, I realize that Democrats are perfectly capable of their own faux pas, but Republicans can be so holier-than-thou that it can make you want to vomit.

Take Texas State Rep. Bryan Slaton (R-Royse City), who, as the picture above states, is a “proud family man,” a “Conservative,” and…wait for it…a “pastor.” In fact, so “über-Jesus-y” is Rep. Slaton that he engaged in sins of the flesh BIGLY:

Rep. Bryan Slaton resigned from the Texas House on Monday after an investigation determined that he had an inappropriate sexual relationship with a 19-year-old woman on his staff, providing her with enough alcohol before their encounter that she felt dizzy and had double vision.

Pressure had mounted on the Royse City Republican to resign since Saturday, when the House General Investigative Committee released a 16-page report finding Slaton had engaged in inappropriate sexual conduct with his aide. The committee of three Republicans and two Democrats recommended that Slaton be the first state representative expelled from the body since 1927.

In a statement, Republican Party of Texas Chair Matt Rinaldi commended the House for responding swiftly to “the reprehensible actions of Representative Slaton,” which were first reported in early April. He said the misconduct detailed in the report “should never be tolerated and is proper grounds for expulsion.”

Yeah, it turns out that not even Texas Republicans will tolerate one of their own who gets a 19-year-old staffer blind drunk, has unprotected sexual intercourse with her, and then drives her home.

The woman later went to a drugstore to purchase Plan B medication to prevent a pregnancy. Slaton then pressured the unnamed staffer and her friends into not discussing the incident.

Helluva classy guy, eh? Oh, but it gets better.

Rep. Slaton also provided alcohol to another woman under the age of 21 on several occasions.

The committee report said Slaton had invited the 19-year-old woman to his Austin apartment late March 31 and gave her a large cup of rum and coke, then refilled it twice — rendering her unable to “effectively consent to intercourse and could not indicate whether it was welcome or unwelcome.”

Pure class.

And we haven’t even reached the point where we’re discussing the fact that Rep. Slaton is married with kids AND is a former Christian pastor.

Oh, and he’s

among the most socially conservative lawmakers in the chamber and had been one of this session’s loudest voices for cracking down on drag shows and decrying drag artists as “groomers” who want to sexualize kids.

Slaton, who, yes, was one of the most Socially Conservative members of the Texas Legislature, was losing support faster than the Titanic took on water.

Once the House General Investigative Committee’s report came out, it quickly became evident there was no way to spin Slaton’s actions, particularly given his Texas Taliban Conservatism and holier-than-thou Christianity.

Calls for Slaton’s resignation had grown since the report’s release Saturday. Over the weekend, two of the three Republican parties for the counties he represents asked him to step down, and more than half of the 62-member State Republican Executive Committee had done the same by Sunday night.

By Monday, even some of Slaton’s closest supporters had left his side. Texas Right to Life, a staunchly anti-abortion group that was a key supporter of Slaton’s political campaigns, revoked its endorsement in the morning, saying it was a “Christian organization” that held its staff, board members, scholarship recipients and political endorsees to high moral standards.

“In light of recent reports and the findings of the Texas House General Investigating Committee, Texas Right to Life PAC has decided to formally revoke our endorsement of Representative Bryan Slaton and is praying for a biblical response for all those involved,” Kimberlyn Schwartz, a spokesperson for the group, wrote in a statement.

It takes a lot for Texas Republicans to abandon one of their own. By his own doing, Slaton was staring at being the first Texas legislator expelled since 1927. Of course, Slaton’s biggest f**k-up was being stupid enough to get caught. No one in Texas politics is dumb enough to believe that Bryan Slaton is the only Republican schtupping the local talent wandering the halls of the State Capitol. Why do you think Slaton hired an attractive 19-year-old woman in the first place?

Indeed, as Matt Rinaldi said, Slaton’s behavior “should never be tolerated and is proper grounds for expulsion.” But if you think, even for a moment, that Slaton is the only Republican in Austin engaged in that sort of behavior, you’re too naïve for Texas politics. Slaton was stupid, careless, and horny. Unfortunately, as most any male of the species knows, that combination too often leads to thinking with the wrong head.

And that rarely ends well. Even I can vouch for that.

On Sunday, the Texas House Freedom Caucus, a group that includes some of the most socially conservative lawmakers in the chamber who are usually politically aligned with Slaton, also called for his resignation.

“The abhorrent behavior described in the report requires clear and strong action,” the caucus said in a statement. “He should resign. If he does not, we will vote to expel him Tuesday.”….

At least three lawmakers had already called for Slaton’s resignation before the report’s release: Reps. Briscoe Cain, R-Deer Park, Steve Toth, R-The Woodlands, and Ana-Maria Ramos, D-Richardson. Cain and Toth are members of the Freedom Caucus.

No reasonable person would endorse Bryan Slaton’s behavior. However, he got what he deserved, and this is one of those cases when I enjoy watching karma and schadenfreude do a delicate pas de deux. I hope the young woman can emerge from this episode without significant damage. She probably hoped that her experience working as a legislative staffer would be a good learning experience.

I suppose it was, just not in the way she’d hoped.

I can accept that people make mistakes, including thinking with the wrong head, for which I suspect he’ll have to hope for his wife’s forgiveness and reconciliation. However, if you look at his campaign website’s about page in light of what’s happened, it reads like one big lie.

Born in Mineola, Texas, Bryan Slaton is a proud East Texan with values and principles that resemble(represent) the great people of East Texas. These values were formed as he grew up regularly participating in church and family gatherings. Bryan attended Ouachita Baptist University, where he earned a double major in Youth Ministry / Speech Communication. He then attended Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary and earned a Masters of Divinity with Biblical Languages. He served in the ministry as a Youth and Family Minister for 13 years.

Continuing his education, Bryan graduated from The University of North Texas, where he earned a Bachelor degree in Business Administration Accounting. Bryan now works at his family-owned company, Slaton Financial Services. He understands what it takes to balance a budget and cut wasteful spending, no matter the scale.

He opposed taxes being raised and land being taken away from private citizens in order to build toll roads. Bryan Slaton is passionate to help the people in East Texas obtain and maintain a Government that they not only deserve but for which they are calling. Bryan and his wife, Sharmen, have been married for 3 years. They have a son, Maximus, and attend Fellowship Church in Royse City.

In the final analysis, Bryan Slaton proved to be as human as any of us, and his über-Jesus-y Conservative values look pretty hypocritical. That he’s been shamed and forced to resign or face expulsion is as it should be, but no one should be deluding themselves into thinking that the Texas GOP just excised the only cancer within from its midst.

No, Bryan Slaton was just stupid and sloppy enough to get caught. I have no desire to see him or his life and career destroyed. I sincerely hope he can get himself together and get his life and family back on track. Hopefully, none of that will involve politics, where his duplicity and self-serving moralizing have no place.

And no one should think that the Texas GOP has covered itself in glory in this instance. I’d be willing to wager that there are plenty of similar miscreants in the Texas Taliban who haven’t been caught yet. They may be more intelligent or more fortunate in how they go about their hypocrisy and duplicity, but they’re out there, and they’ll continue to look out for one another.

That’s, of course, until things get so bad they no longer can, and one of them has to be thrown under a bus to keep the Freedom Caucus or other moralizing ninnies happy. Watching holier-than-thou Republicans eat their young can be very entertaining.

Because where there’s power, there are hypocrites willing and able to abuse it. It’s a phenomenon as old as human nature itself. And as long as men are inclined to think with the wrong head, this story will arise now and then.

Of course, Republicans don’t have a monopoly on hypocrisy, but in Texas, they’re pretty damned close to cornering the market.