I Had NO Idea Being White Was Such A Burden

Where da White dolls at?

Sometimes I wonder whether the world is being run by smart people who are putting us on or by imbeciles who really mean it.

• Laurence J. Peter, The Peter Principle

You can pass it off as performative outrage, and sure, it’s every bit of that, but there’s something more going on below the surface here. And it doesn’t say anything positive about the thought processes of White folks in America today.

I’ve never watched Newsmax. My cable system doesn’t carry it. I wouldn’t even know where to find it, and even if I did, I wouldn’t waste my time on a channel that spews more sinister propaganda than Fox News Channel (FNC). Of course, it’s pure Right-wing disinformation, something I want no part of, so what Rob Finnerty has to say about anything impacts me not at all. Still, that a cable “news” outlet would allow words like his on the air is, at the very least, distressing.

Before we start, a caveat: I have never watched Newsmax, and I wouldn’t even know where it lives on cable news. But a clip on social media of one of its anchors, Rob Finnerty, horrified because he couldn’t find a white American Girl doll for his daughter in the store at Rockefeller Center, threw me. 

“My daughter is just a cute little 6-year-old white girl — we couldn’t find anybody that looked like my daughter. It was — the whole place, it was, like, wokeified,” Finnerty said during a recent broadcast. 

“Wokeified?” Really? I can’t help but wonder if Finnerty’s smart enough to define that word or if he’s making stuff up on the fly.

At its most basic, the definition of “woke” is

alert to injustice and discrimination in society, especially racism.

That’s it. That’s all. So, by all means, I’d ask Finnerty or any other member of the Conservative (not so very) intelligentsia to explain to me what’s so “nasty” or “awful” about being “alert to injustice and discrimination in society, especially racism.” What’s so bad about being a decent, kind, and compassionate human being?

If you accept the above as the definition of “woke”- and I do- then I’m proudly “woke.” And Republicans should also have no problems with being “woke.” It’s a simple matter of caring about other people. That’s all there is to being “woke,” yet the Conservative (not so very) intelligentsia has twisted it into some Liberal plot to remake the world in their image. Au contraire, mon ami; it’s about being decent, compassionate, and caring about others.

But even if that was the goal of Liberals to “remake the world in their image,” would that be such a horrible, nasty, awful idea? What would be so wrong with a world where people respected one another? And in which people understood that discrimination, including racism, must not be allowed to stand?

“How long has this been going on with American Girls? … It was somewhat of a bizarre experience,” he said. 

There is something bizarre here, but it’s not what Finnerty thinks it is. 

Did he stop to think that perhaps all of the white dolls were sold out at the store? Was going on the American Girl website not an option for him? Surely if he did, his panic would’ve subsided. In the All Dolls section, you must scroll through almost 20 white dolls before you get to a doll of color. 

I also imagine he forgot about the decades that cute, little Black and brown girls could only choose from all-white doll shelves — none of which looked anything like them. Why? Because whiteness was the default.

Finnerty’s daughter is hardly bound to be scarred by her experience, and Finnerty himself badly needs a history lesson. For decades, White dolls were all that were available. Now that doll manufacturers are trying to be more inclusive and make dolls that look more like children of different races and ethnicities, Finnerty’s convinced his daughter is being discriminated against.

Cry me a freakin’ river, willya?

My daughter, half Puerto Rican and half Salvadoran, was given a blond, blue-eyed Baywatch Barbie for her birthday when she turned 7 about 15 years ago. I was appalled, but my feelings, unlike Finnerty’s outrage, were justified for one main reason: There is no shortage of toys that represent white children. It’s parents of children of color who are left to go the extra mile to seek out dolls, figurines, books and games that portray their children — making sure they don't grow up feeling left out. 

It would be easy to dismiss Finnerty’s comments as ridiculous and what one would expect from a far-right news organization, but it’s more than that. It’s thinly veiled racism and fear. 

According to the 2020 census, the United States is more diverse and multiracial than ever. Over 30 million people identify as two or more races today. In 2010, that number was 9 million. People who identify as white alone decreased by 8.6%. 

It begs the question: What does an American Girl look like today? Because, going by the numbers, American Girl dolls represent what America looks like at present — not a “wokeified” version, but a real one. It’s “bizarre” that Finnerty seems to have a problem with reality.

Indeed. What does it mean to be American today? Look at the number of people who visit sites like Ancestry.com to determine their heritage. I’ve done it myself, and I’ve learned some surprising things. Growing up, my parents taught me I was equal parts German, Scottish, Irish, and Bohemian, which always seemed a wee bit too convenient. I didn’t have any grounds to argue, so I went along. Then I went to Ancestry.com and learned that in addition to the German, Scottish, and Irish, there may also have been a little Russian, English, and Swedish or Norwegian mixed in.

It turns out that who we are can often be rather complicated and that being “White” is pretty bland. However, it does seem odd that Finnerty is so focused on not wanting to live in a “wokeified” world that he’s lost touch with reality.

We may not necessarily be who we see ourselves as today. We’re all an amalgamation of those who came before us. Knowing that there are also some Russians, Englishmen, and possibly some Swedes and Norwegians in my personal history makes things more interesting.

Does that make me less “White?” And what does that even mean?

And why does Finnerty hate living in a world where people give a damn about one another? Does being a faithful Conservative have to mean being a selfish, self-centered asshole? Must it always be about who sits at the top of the socioeconomic pyramid?

It shouldn’t, but perhaps in Rob Finnerty’s world, that’s the working definition, in which case I truly feel sorry for him…and his daughter, who will have much to unlearn as she grows up.