I Knew Barack Obama...And You, Sir, Are No Barack Obama

Nikki Haley and Tim Scott could learn a thing or six about being a minority Presidential candidate...like, f'rinstance not being a token Republican

Someone. Everyone. Anyone. No-one. One. One can't be everyone, but there isn't more than one everyone, at the same time. And at the same time no-one can't be someone, but anyone can be one, and also anyone can be a no-one. To sum up - everyone is someone, and any-one becomes a no-one if you divide the one part long enough by every part of every-one, so in conclusion, I have no idea what I’m talking about, basically.”

• Will Advise, Nothing is here...

When it comes to minority politics, two phrases should inspire automatic suspicion. One is “Black Republican,” and the other is “Female Republican.” And don’t even get me started on “Gay Republican,” a subgenre on which I could easily write an entire chapter.

My point is that none of these types of Republicans are groups that Republicans typically value. The GOP is a profoundly racist AND misogynistic (and, yes, homophobic) party. So for a Black man or woman or a White woman to willingly vote Republican or, even more illogically, run for office as a Republican defies logic.

Of course, Republicans HATE having this reality pointed out to them. They prefer to live in a bubble where everyone gets along and can vote Republican without fearing oppression.

Sure, and I start every NFL season thinking my Minnesota Vikings will win the Super Bowl. By the end of the season, I’m once again disappointed.

Go figure.

Former President Barack Obama gave voice to his skepticism of Senator Tim Scott (R-SC) and former ambassador Nikki Haley’s optimistic evaluation of American race relations on a…podcast with former advisor David Axelrod.

“I haven’t spent a lot of time studying Tim Scott’s speeches,” noted Obama after being asked to evaluate Scott’s messaging, before nevertheless commenting on it:

I think there is a long history of African-American or other minority candidates within the Republican Party who will validate America and say ‘Everything’s great!’ and ‘We can all make it!’ I mean Nikki Haley I think has a similar approach. ‘Look at me, I’m Asian- and Indian-American woman and my family came here and we worked hard.’ Clarence Thomas has probably gave the same speech at some point I guarantee in some commencement, as did Alan Keyes the first guy that I ran against.

And look, I’m not being cynical about Tim Scott individually. I am maybe suggesting that the rhetoric of ‘Can’t we all get along’ and those quotes you made from my speech in 2004 about there is a United States of America — that has to be undergirded with an honest accounting of our past and our present.

The problem is the GOP's tokenism with people like Tim Scott and Nikki Haley. The “See, how can we be prejudiced? We have a [insert minority here] candidate!” approach is as insulting as it is facile. It does nothing to address the racism or misogyny long rampant within the GOP.

And Barack Obama has every right to be cynical about Scott and Haley, who are allowing themselves to be cynically used by the GOP. They may legitimately believe they’re doing the right thing and belong in the Republican Party- and perhaps they do. That hardly reduces their token status, however.

Obama went on to say that voters are “rightly skeptical” of minority Republican candidates who “may even be sincere” in their optimism if they don’t “have a plan” for addressing “crippling generational poverty” or if they are unwilling to acknowledge “discrimination in everything from getting to job to buying a house to how the criminal justice system operates.”

“We actually have to walk the walk and not just talk the talk,” he added, lamenting that he hasn’t “yet seen it” in the GOP.

The GOP is too heavily invested in sucking up to The Former Guy. The party’s future and fortunes are so intertwined with him that if he goes down, he will almost certainly take the GOP down. Not that he cares; he’s all about his political prospects and self-interest.

And, as might be imagined, neither Scott nor Haley took President Obama’s criticism particularly well:

“[W]e are a land of opportunity, not a land of oppression.”

“[H]ard work and personal responsibility matter.”

Surely I’m not the only one hearing the language of oppression in those tweets.

Tim Scott and Nikki Haley might not like their reality, but not being enamored of reality doesn’t change it. They will still be tokens within a party built by White Conservative Christian heterosexuals. GOP leaders will use Scott and Haley to argue that the party isn’t racist or misogynist when, in fact, there’s ample evidence showing it’s plenty of both.

Two minority candidates do not a big tent make. The GOP is and will remain a party of, by, and for White Conservative Christian heterosexuals- racists and misogynists through and through. Tim Scott and Nikki Haley aren’t about to change decades of history.

If there’s one thing Barack Obama proved, it’s that we do indeed live in a country where Black and Brown kids can now dream of growing up to one day be President…but that dream won’t be realized via the GOP. The American people- in particular, minorities- aren’t likely to trust a minority candidate who’s a Republican. They’ll almost certainly see a token candidate standing in as a shill for White corporate interests…and they’ll probably be correct.

Tim Scott and Nikki Haley must display a healthy disdain for Obama. They’re Republicans…and any Republican who shows respect for Obama risks being sent off to a re-education camp deep in the woods of Arkansas.

(Do I hear banjos??)

If they could lose the arrogance, though, they might find that they could learn a thing or six from Obama, like how to connect with Americans and meet people on their level instead of talking down to them as Republicans tend to. Obama had a way of humanizing the Presidency when he was in the White House. That allowed him to connect with people in a way no Republican President has been able to do before or since.

If and when a minority candidate shows the sort of promise and charisma Barack Obama did, it will have to be as a Democrat to be believable. It’s happened once, and there’s no reason it can’t happen again. All it takes is the right candidate.

And neither Tim Scott nor Nikki Haley is it.

Nice try, y’all.