If you're going to manufacture outrage, at least put some effort into it

No, Joe Biden didn't issue a shoot-to-kill order on Donald Trump

Hey, didja know that Joe Biden gave the FBI shoot-to-kill orders during their raid of Mar-a-Lago? Hell, Biden was probably hoping that Trump would act up and one of the FBI agents would draw on him and drop the sumbitch in his tracks, knowhutimean?

How do I know this? Mainly because it’s the MAGA Conspiracy Theory/Lie of the Week…and boy, is the Far-Right exercised over it. Man, these twatwaffles have their panties in a wad like you wouldn’t believe.

Yes, even MTG is weighing in with a heaping helping of righteous outrage. It’s treason, I tell ya!! TREASON!! And Joe Biden is the Treason-Weasel-in-Chief!!

A new lie is spreading through MAGA-land like syphilis-infected kudzu, and it is that President Joe Biden ordered the assassination of Donald Trump when Mar-a-Lago was raided for the documents Trump stole from the government. Pick just about any try-hard MAGA loser you can think of and what are they doing? Either farting on their fingers and smelling them, spreading this lie, or (likely) both.

Big if true! (Not true.)

As is so often the case, this lie came directly from the criminal’s babbling gullet. Trump upchucked onto his failing Truth Social site yesterday:

Yeah, definitely not true, but why would a MAGAnaut worth their weight in cow shit let the truth get in the way of a perfectly good opportunity for a cleansing Two-Minute Hate ©?

Of course, when you hate Joe Biden as much as these assclowns do, the truth is relative—if it exists at all.

You can tell Trump wrote that one himself because he’s bitching like the feeble old man he is about the temperature in the courtroom, and also the functionally illiterate use of capital letters. The “reports” he was referring to are newly unsealed documents that show that — surprise! — Trump’s lawyers found more stolen classified documents AFTER the Mar-a-Lago search, IN HIS BEDROOM. (We’ll have more on that!)

Everybody, let’s scream about Biden ordering Trump assassinated instead!

As Heather Cox Richardson explains, Trump’s campaign followed up with an email with the subject line “They were authorized to shoot me—I nearly escaped death.” The body read: “Joe Biden was locked & loaded ready to take me out & put my family in danger…. But here’s the one thing they don’t know: WE WILL NEVER SURRENDER!” (Astute commenter notes that “nearly escaped death” would mean he was killed. So that’s hilarious.)

So that’s where that started. (Actually it appears to have REALLY started with a bugfuck conspiracy theorist named Julie Kelly, whereupon it made its way up Trump’s and the RNC’s assholes in record time.)

Is there even a shred of truth in it? Nah.

“I nearly escaped death.” OK, let’s parse that bit of functional illiteracy for giggles, shall we? If Dolt 45 nearly escaped death, then wouldn’t he be—well, dead? The man has no clue when it comes to navigating his mother tongue.

I think most of us probably wished he’d nearly escaped death because it would take a lot of the worry out of the Presidential election, yeah? After all, it’s hard to become President when you’re dead—even when you’re Donald Trump.

The GOP’s Random Outrage Generator © might need a check-up to see if the “check engine” light is on because the bullshit emanating from the usual suspects is of genuinely amateurish quality.

Not just “no”…HELL, NO!! Rep. Gosar may be slimy and reptilian, but even I would’ve thought he wouldn’t be so stupid not to do even a few seconds of due diligence.

Every FBI Operations Order contains a policy statement that authorizes the level of force that may be used in a particular operation if and/or when necessary. I sincerely doubt that any FBI agent went into Mar-a-Lago in a combat stance, guns drawn, looking to take out Dolt 45. The language was simply anticipating a “worst case” scenario, the sort of thing no agent would’ve expected for a raid of that nature.

So, no, NO ONE, especially the President, would’ve given a shoot-to-kill order directed at the Duke of Shitferbrainz. Frankly, I’d have to think he’d be a waste of a bullet, don’tchathink?

Unsurprisingly, the MAGA gaslighters are running around like chickens with their heads cut off, complaining that the FBI is doing the gaslighting.

I suppose assholes gotta asshole, right? Otherwise, they’d have nothing to keep themselves occupied.

Yep, these folks seriously need to get back on a court-ordered Thorazine regime because reality has NOT been good for them.

There’s no proof—none, zero, zip, nada—that indicates President Biden ever issued a shoot-to-kill order or that the FBI was ever authorized to use deadly force unless absolutely necessary, which is standard protocol. No one anticipated the Mar-a-Lago raid would ever come to that, though.

It’s everywhere. Chirping anger muppet Maria Bartiromo is chirping angrily about it on Fox Business. Judge Jeanine “Boxwine” Pirro is sloshing it around in her glass. The entire MAGA-sphere.

This sort of lying works because the people stupid enough to respect people like Mike Davis, Jack Posobiec, Marjorie Taylor Greene, and Paul Gosar are also too monumentally stupid to figure out the truth on their own. If they tried to Do Their Own Research they’d just end up on some other MAGA incel’s YouTube listening to them agree with these others that yes, Joe Biden personally ordered Donald Trump assassinated. (And of course, this is all built on the MAGA brainworm delusion that Joe Biden is in the Oval Office personally directing witch hunts against Trump.)

People like Davis, Posobiec, Pirro, Bartiromo, Gosar, the congresswoman with the six B’s know they don’t have even one follower smart enough to check their work. And that’s extremely charitably assuming that those people are smart enough to know what lies they’re spreading. They may not be, especially in the case of Greene and Gosar, who often play the role of both propagandist and the mark. (Pirro should know better. Baritiromo, eh probably not, she’s a fucking moron.)

The point is that the contempt MAGA has for its own voters is, as ever, breathtaking.

It’s genuinely astonishing how little respect the MAGA “intelligentsia” has for its rank-and-file voters. They care for and about them only insofar as much as they need their votes every two or four years. Beyond that, they could give a rancid shit about them.

People like Davis, Posobiec, Pirro, Bartiromo, Gosar, and others who leave a slime trail view MAGA as an ATM. MAGAnauts aren’t people with issues and concerns; they’re sources of cash to be milked as needed, early and often. Outrage can be monetized on the Far Right, and those at the top of the MAGA food chain have become very good at separating the fools from their money.

This latest eruption from the GOP’s Random Outrage Generator © is merely the latest example of fury that will be packaged and marketed to the masses. Fundraising emails and letters will be generated; the cash will roll in, and those who least deserve it will pad their bank account.

One more thing: Remember that with Trump and with MAGA, every accusation is a confession. Remember that Trump absolutely wants to use a second presidential term to go after his enemies, and that his lawyers are at the Supreme Court asking them to establish that he has the right to have his rivals assassinated.

Trump literally wanted to execute the person who leaked that he was a big fucking chickenshit baby who hides in the White House bunker when there are protesters outside. He literally wants to execute people who embarrass him, who laugh at him, who expose him for the weakass loser he is.

Remember that. That’s who he is, and that’s who his squealing impotent pig followers are. It’s all projection.

Yes. It’s all projection, which leads to manufactured outrage, which leads to yet more fundraising opportunities, which leads to—well, it’s all kinda circular, so it never really ends.

Because, when all is said and done, all of this is really about fleecing the sheeple in red hats.

Fools and their money ARE soon parted. And I, for one, find it difficult to feel sorry for anyone willing to fund slime-generating creatures like these.

All of my posts are public at this time. Any reader financial support will be greatly appreciated. There’s no paywall blocking access to my work (except for a few newsletters). I’ll trust my readers to determine if my work is worthy of their financial support and at what level. To those who do offer their support, thank you. It means more than you know.