"I'm Not A Very Good American Because I Like To Form My Own Opinions"
Fourteen years after his death, I STILL miss George Carlin
(Thanks to Stacey Eskelin over at Cappuccino for the inspiration)
My gentle readers may or may not know that I’m a massive fan of George Carlin (May 12, 1937 – June 22, 2008). Though he died almost 14 years ago, America is much poorer for his no longer walking among us. Sure, he may have been abrasive and profane on stage, but he had a way of getting to the heart of the matter regardless of his topic.
In college, I had a weekly show on my college’s low-power FM radio station. I frequently played Carlin’s “Seven Words You Can Never Say On Television” routine. Not only was it hilarious, but it also exposed the hypocrisy of criminalizing language. Moreover, it was one of the ways he pointed out the absurdities of moral, legal, or religious standards by mercilessly ridiculing them.
Religion has actually convinced people that there's an invisible man living in the sky who watches everything you do, every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a special list of ten things he does not want you to do. And if you do any of these ten things, he has a special place, full of fire and smoke and burning and torture and anguish, where he will send you to live and suffer and burn and choke and scream and cry forever and ever 'til the end of time!
But He loves you. He loves you, and He needs money! He always needs money! He's all-powerful, all-perfect, all-knowing, and all-wise, somehow just can't handle money!
George Carlin
As an atheist, I always appreciated Carlin’s takedown of religion. Not only is it humorous (it never ceases to crack me up), but it’s spot on- and yet people continue to fall for the imaginary-man-living-in-the-sky fallacy.
Of course, I respect the right of others to believe as they will- as long as they don’t attempt to force those beliefs upon others. But while I respect their right to their convictions, that doesn’t mean I have to respect the beliefs themselves- and I don’t. They’re illogical, nonsensical, and have no basis in reality.
That said, I respect those who use their religious beliefs to try to make the world a better place. I have a soft spot for those who endeavor to live their convictions, if for no other reason than those people are few and far between. I’m all for those who live kindness, compassion, love, and understanding- whatever drives them; if it’s a sincerely held religious belief, then more power to them. There’s little doubt that this world can use more people committed to making it a better place.
Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
George Carlin
Unfortunately, the power of religion is too often not unlike that of a cult. People line up behind a leader to whom they infer wisdom and power, and to him (or her), they cede personal autonomy and critical thinking. They fall into line and internalize the prevailing doctrine, often without fully considering the consequences.
History is replete with examples of religious cults in which charismatic leaders have led thousands of followers to their ultimate demise. In these leaders, people receive the answers they need to lead a life of meaning and purpose and sometimes forfeit their worldly possessions to the cult.
We're so self-important. So arrogant. Everybody's going to save something now. Save the trees, save the bees, save the whales, save the snails. And the supreme arrogance? Save the planet! Are these people kidding? Save the planet? We don't even know how to take care of ourselves; we haven't learned how to care for one another. We're gonna save the fuckin' planet? . . . And, by the way, there's nothing wrong with the planet in the first place. The planet is fine. The people are fucked! Compared with the people, the planet is doin' great. It's been here over four billion years . . . The planet isn't goin' anywhere, folks. We are! We're goin' away. Pack your shit, we're goin' away. And we won't leave much of a trace. Thank God for that. Nothing left. Maybe a little Styrofoam. The planet will be here, and we'll be gone. Another failed mutation; another closed-end biological mistake.
George Carlin
Religion isn’t bad in all aspects. At its most basic is the desire to make the world a better, more peaceful, and kinder place; there’s certainly nothing wrong with that aspiration. However, the problems begin when people become involved, and some begin to see it as a way to enrich themselves and secure power and influence over others.
Both religions and politics often represent good ideas gone wrong. Man is too often highly corruptible. Religion and politics are 1 and 1a in terms of being the vehicles offering the highest potential for corruption. All one needs to do is look at the Catholic Church and the Church of England before the 20th century as two primary examples of corruption. In both cases, the Church became the State and vice-versa. It was impossible to discern where one ended, and the other began. As a result, both suffered and became far too corrupt to care about representing the interest of the people they were initially called to serve.
It would be difficult to find a time in human history prior to American Independence when the Church didn’t corrupt the State or vice-versa. Unfortunately, religion has historically been as corrupt as the day is long. That may not be as true today, but it’s certainly not from a lack of trying.
Tell people there's an invisible man in the sky who created the universe, and the vast majority will believe you. Tell them the paint is wet, and they have to touch it to be sure.
George Carlin
Perhaps it begins with how Americans are acculturated, but many of us grow up with the idea of God’s existence drummed into our skulls. Even today, I sometimes have to stop and consciously clear my head of the notion that an invisible man in the sky is watching my every thought, word, and deed 24/7/365.
My parents sent me to Sunday School for a couple of years until I got smart and realized they just wanted me out of the house for a few hours on Sunday mornings. A lot of Christianity wormed its way into my brain, and, a half-century later, I’m still trying to deprogram myself.
Erin and I live three blocks from a Jesuit university, so even now, I can’t get away from it. I almost applied for a job there a couple of years ago, but I didn’t know how they’d feel about hiring an avowed atheist. So I decided not to find out, which was probably best for everyone concerned.
Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
George Carlin
One of my biggest pet peeves is seeing athletes crediting God for their successes- winning championships, etc.- as if God gives a damn about who wins an athletic competition. I’ve always wondered; if they credit God for successes, do they also blame Them for their failures or the times they fall short? Was God not smiling upon them that day, or did They steer their drive deep into the woods, causing them to take the double-bogey on the hole that cost them the tournament?
With war, famine, pestilence, genocide, and other tragic events happening around the world, why would God care about someone hitting a driver on a par-5? Wouldn’t that fall more under planning, courage, and misfortune?
I’ve always believed that my failures or successes are my own, the product of preparation, circumstances, and my ability to adapt and react to the requirements of the moment. If I succeed, that’s on me. If I fall short, that’s also my doing. Either way, the burden or the credit falls on my shoulders.
I don’t need something outside of myself for motivation. I know what I’m capable of, and I know my limitations. I don’t need an invisible outside force to lean on for support.
Of course, I can’t do this justice nearly as well as George Carlin could, and I miss his willingness to tip sacred cows and stomp on holy ground. He pissed off many religious people along the way, but one thing no one could ever do was prove him wrong.
I'll reconsider my position if anyone can show me proof of God’s existence. But, unfortunately, I’ve embarked on my seventh decade and have yet to encounter anything close to that proof. George Carlin certainly never did in his 71 years, and I’ll accept his authority and perspective any day.
Remember, atheism is a non-prophet organization. Because God’s all-powerful and all-knowing, but He can’t handle money.
Thank you for taking the time to read this. North Stars and Cowboy Bars is a reader-supported newsletter and a wholly-owned subsidiary of Reasonable People for Reasonable Things, LLC. I hope you’ll take a few seconds to join the party and support my work via a paid subscription. While you’re at it, why not forward this to a few like-minded friends who might enjoy it!! You can also donate via Venmo (@Jack-Cluth).
