In A World Owned By Elon Musk And Mark Zuckerberg, Wir Sind Sehr Gefickt

And we've brought it upon ourselves

I was booted off Twitter in April 2022 for the stupidest possible reason. I was mightily pissed off about it then and felt like I’d been done wrong…and I was. Of course, getting anyone at the Twitter Death Star to listen to me (or, Hell, even respond in most cases) was virtually impossible. The Big Blue Bird had spoken, and I had been cast out of the kingdom, never again to enjoy the fellowship of my fellow twits (Tweets? Twats? Ah, who cares?)

Fourteen months later, things have changed…and I realize that getting cut adrift from Twitter was almost certainly the best thing that could’ve happened to me. That the platform has turned into a Far-Right cesspool openly hospitable to racists, homophobes, White supremacists, transphobes, and all manner of human flotsam is indisputable. Elon Musk has turned a pretty decent social media experiment into pure trash. And though some bravely hang on, many who’ve left Twitter, or- like me- who’ve seen Twitter leave them, have realized one thing:

Twitter is a s**t pile not worthy of being mourned. Good riddance to bad rubbish.

Don’t get me wrong; the idea behind Twitter is worthwhile- a social media platform that can and does connect the entire world is fabulous. The mistake, however, lies in assuming that Twitter is the ONLY platform capable of doing that.

There may have been a time- pre-Elon Musk- when Twitter was the platform best equipped and capable of connecting the world. Still, with Musk’s decimation of it, many newer and arguably better options have arisen from its ashes. And, at this point, as long as Elon Musk owns Twitter, it’s only a matter of time before Twitter collapses into bankruptcy from his incompetence and odiousness.

I’m not only several new social media platforms- Mastodon, Post, Spoutible, and Tribel. That’s in addition to Facebook and Instagram (and, as of today, Threads- which looks a lot like Twitter- from Instagram). The more recent platforms, at least so far, seem to have nailed the idea of moderating extreme language and preventing the sort of abject horror that’s de riguer on Twitter and all too often on Facebook.

Instagram can be a real pain in the ass- random “punishments” for things I haven’t done, and when I’m told to “tell us” what they’ve gotten wrong and try to do so, there’s no opportunity provided to respond. So, IG slaps a punishment on you, and that’s that- no recourse, no appeal, and no hope of delivering your side of the story. My first account was summarily shut down for reasons never explained to me- one day, it was gone.

Of course, any platform run by Facebook is ipso facto run by assholes…or people who don’t give a damn. So, proceed at your own peril, eh?

There’s also the argument that we’re not paying for any of this…but is that really true? Considering that our personal information is the mother’s milk of Instagram and Facebook (or any social media platform), we’re paying for social media with our privacy. There’s a case to be made that social media companies have an implied responsibility to handle private information respectfully and cautiously.

‘Course, if you believe that’s what’s happening, I’d like to introduce you to the best ice fisherman in Phoenix.

In the beginning, social media began as a way to connect the world, allowing people in far-flung places to communicate as they never had before. And, if you think about it for any amount of time, that idea IS pretty freakin’ excellent. The idea that you can communicate with someone on the other side of the world almost in real-time is exceptionally mind-blowing.

Social media can knock down borders, blow past governments, and create direct people-to-people bridges. And to a large degree, that’s what has happened. Somewhere along the way, though, someone figured out that there were ways to monetize the personal information of people who signed up for social media platforms. Those who could aggregate that information could, in the language of the high-tech industry, make a shit-ton of money.

And a lot of folks did just that. Sure enough, that changed everything.

Social media sites were no longer just incredible ways for someone vacationing in Cambodia to communicate with their girlfriend in Carlsbad. Or their other girlfriend in Manhattan Beach. Or their other girlfriend in Dana Point. Or…well, you get the point. Suddenly, tech entrepreneurs could AFFORD to have three different girlfriends in three different cities.

Most social media consumers didn’t realize that they- well, their information, at least- was being monetized and that all they were getting out of it was a Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram account. Meanwhile, the people behind those sites were wealthy enough that, like Mark Zuckerberg, they could afford to slaughter their meat. This allowed them to be more “in touch” with where their food came from.

Jeez, just order from Door Dash, already….

Meanwhile, some folks began to wonder if there wasn’t a better way to do social media…or, at the very least, a way not to be exploited by the platforms they used. They began questioning the tradeoffs they were making for their Facebook, Twitter, and/or Instagram accounts. Who was getting rich off them, and why were they not seeing any of those riches? After all, their information was being used to line the pockets of tech entrepreneurs; shouldn’t those whose information was being used also realize some benefit?

Ultimately, it was determined that social media companies could continue to exploit their users all they wanted. Accepting an account on a social media site was determined to be an implied contract allowing the site’s owner to use personal information in virtually any way they choose. The compensation due to those whose data they were using? The account they signed up for.

Yay, capitalism.

Right? My girlfriend went to Maui…and all I got was this lousy f*****g t-shirt.

Now, of course, society is so deep into the social media age that we’ve made our deal with the Devil. If we want to use social media, the price of admission is our personal information. Of course, it’s always possible to opt out, and some Luddites do choose to sit out the Information Age, but even a free email account will cost you the use of your personal information. So if you hope to communicate with anything other than a carrier pigeon or smoke signals, Big Tech has you by the short hairs.

Elon Musk may be the worst, most apparent asshole, and the easiest to hate, but what about the other site owners, including the ones we don’t know about. Sure, we can hate Mark Zuckerberg (and for good reason), but there are others. What are they doing with our personal information? Who knows, right?

Where do you think all those calls from people concerned about your car’s extended warranty come from?

Yeah, so I don’t miss Twitter…but the Big Blue Bird is only one big part of an even more significant problem that we’re all blissfully ignoring. Kinda makes you wonder what the future holds, doesn’t it??

First, they came to put the microchip in my butt, but I didn’t do anything…because I’d already been ‘chipped….