It's Time We Stopped Sticking Our Judgment Where It Doesn't Belong
Let the LGBTQ community do their thing; we'll do ours- and everyone goes away happy
Since when is inclusivity and lifting people up supposed to be a bad thing?
I can only speak for myself- a 61-year-old, White, cisgender male- so I’ll limit my observations to my perspective. ‘Cuz right now, that’s more than enough for me to take on.
Growing up in rural northern Minnesota, there were two genders- male and female. It wasn’t so much that I was taught that; it was what I saw around me. Likewise, sexual variants other than heterosexuality were almost unheard of- at least to my narrow frame of reference. I suspect there were people around who we’d now refer to as some flavor of LGBTQ, but no one talked about it or even acknowledged the existence of anything outside the accepted norm.
As far as I knew, everyone was like me, White and straight. I never even met a Black person until my sophomore year of high school. There was ONE black student in a student body of 2200 for one semester. That was my exposure to diversity until I graduated from high school.
When I went to college, I was thrown into a situation with people of different nationalities, ethnicities, colors, sexuality- you name it. I realized that being White and straight was but one lane on the road of life, so I began to listen and learn.
Thankfully, my parents had impressed upon me that I was no better or worse than anyone else, a lesson I’m thankful I internalized. As I began to get used to being around people different from me, I was neither intimidated nor bothered by diversity. Indeed, I discovered that there was much that I could learn.
Sure, there were aspects of difference in sexuality that took some getting used to. F’rinstance, it took decades for me to become comfortable with the sight of two men kissing. I’m not certain why that was so odd for me, but I supposed we all have hurdles to overcome. That was mine. I’m not proud of it, but neither am I about to hide it.
Throughout college and over the past four decades, I’ve had many friends, acquaintances, and coworkers who are some flavor of LGBTQ. Some have broached the subject with trepidation, some didn’t care who knew, and some figured that those around them would figure it out soon enough. I don’t much care what someone does in their private life; that’s their thing. I’ve always believed they have the right to live in a manner that feels genuine and authentic. It’s none of my damned business.
The only thing I care about is their personality. Is someone a good person? Do they treat others (and me) with respect? Are they fun to be around? Do they have a sense of humor? If someone treats me respectfully, everything else is secondary; I’ll probably like and respect them.
This attitude has served me well because I have to admit to struggling when trying to understand modern conceptions of gender and sexuality. I find it challenging to go from an internal definition of sexuality and gender being binary to one that seems to be an ever-expanding spectrum. “Gender fluid?” I have no clue. It sounds like a lubricant or hand lotion for all I know.
Of course, I don’t have to have a working grasp of these concepts. What I have to do is to be understanding and respectful. If someone tells me they are X, Y, and Z, it’s not my place to pass judgment, merely to respect where that person is and to meet them where they are.
I’m the product of a very different era, but that doesn’t mean I can’t be understanding and respectful. I may wonder why we need to state our pronouns when mine seems obvious (to me, at least), but such is the world we live in. It’s about respect, and Lord knows this world is hardly suffering from an oversupply of that commodity.
I may never fully understand how someone else identifies, but I can respect them and their journey. It’s not an easy thing for everyone. Unfortunately, as a society, we spend far too much time up in the business of others. We continue to find new and distressing ways to display abject cruelty towards transgender individuals and other members of the LGBTQ community.
The “party of small government” insists on making government small enough to police the sexuality of those who don’t identify as what they define as “normal.” The truth is that there’s no longer anything one might call “normal” because human beings are as diverse as their fingerprints. No one- whether Church or government- should be allowed to dictate how someone lives or loves.
I may fall on the far left of the political spectrum, but there’s nothing radical about allowing people to be who they are. It’s a fundamental individual right that should be off-limits to anyone but the person in question. How a person lives and loves has no bearing on the state or society’s moral fabric.
If our counsel is sought, we should be there to offer love and support. But we have no cause or reason to pass judgment, because anyone struggling with these issues already faces more than enough challenges
If I’ve learned one thing in my six-plus decades on this Earth, it’s that we spend FAR too much time trying to force others to conform to a uniform idea of what’s “normal,” “moral,” or “permissible.” The LGBTQ community wants only the same rights that the straight community enjoys. They want the right to live and love in whatever manner feels genuine and authentic. And they want to be able to do so without the disapproving hand of Church and/or State hovering over them.
As a society, we have more than enough to fuss about without considering how others are living. We don’t have to approve or agree with the LGBTQ “lifestyle,” but if we were compassionate, we’d be offering whatever love and support may be necessary? Because how does the manner in which another choose to live or love impact wider society?
SHORT ANSWER: It doesn’t.
It’s time we took the Golden Rule to heart and let people be who they are.