It's Tuesday, Which Means It's a Great Day For Dick Metaphors
I'm just going to put the tip in, OK??
See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis…and only enough blood to run one at a time.
Robin Williams
Over the past few days, we’ve been treated/subjected to the spectacle of rich White guys with WAY too much money shooting themselves into space. Why? Because they’ve got WAY too much money…and there’s nothing else left here on Earth to spend it on.
Not that I don’t admire the pursuit of science, mind you. But if Richard Branson and Jeff Bezos are going to insist on having their egos fluffed, I’d prefer they do it after paying their fair share of taxes, knowhutimean??
The fact that Bezos’ Amazon paid ZERO taxes last year isn’t exactly news, but it should be offensive to every decent American who DOES pay their taxes. Of course, one could argue that Bezos is simply availing himself of the (legal) loopholes present in our current tax code…and they wouldn’t be wrong. But, as anyone who paid attention during the Trump years should understand, legal is not the moral equivalent of…well, moral.
I’m not familiar with Branson’s tax situation, and I frankly don’t care enough to familiarize myself with it. However, I think I’m on solid ground when I say that, like any wealthy business titan, Branson employs a battalion of talented tax accountants whose job is to park money in places where it can’t be taxed.
And so we’re left to celebrate the Billionaire Boys Club (BBC) and their Space Race. Cable news- at least judging by the fawning coverage of CNN and MSNBC- have become the de facto official news channels of the BBC, each treating Branson and Bezos as conquering heroes.
I have only two questions: One, is all of these even newsworthy? And, two, should coverage of the antics of the BBC supplant that of the more prosaic issues facing us here on Earth? You know, like the COVID-19 pandemic, killer floods in Europe, war, famine, etc., etc., ad nauseam??
From where I sit, even as I’m endeavoring not to be cynical, my concerns are much closer to home. First of all, I can’t help but think about all of the good that could’ve been done if these guys had just paid their damned taxes. Bezos, in particular, has seen his wealth balloon during the pandemic, so it doesn’t seem unreasonable to me that some of that wealth would find its way to the US government.
Second, I find myself thinking about all of the things here on Earth that could’ve benefited from even a fraction of the billions spent on their space-based vanity projects.
Yes, I understand that it’s their money, and they’re free to do with it as they see fit. But there’s also the argument that to whom much is given, much is (and should be) expected.
Why do I think this way? It’s pretty simple, really. We live in a country that patriots love to tout as the richest, strongest, and best in the world. Despite that, we tolerate some things that run counter to that belief. A short (and incomplete) list includes things like
a healthcare system geared more to guarantee profits for hospitals and insurance companies than to positive outcomes for patients
woefully insufficient investment in the maintenance and upkeep of vital infrastructure- roads, bridges, sewer lines, water, systems, electricity grids, etc.
a social system that accepts the idea that it’s OK for people to be homeless
woefully inadequate access to mental health care and substance abuse treatment
a complete detachment from the idea of community and that we have any responsibility at all for our fellow human beings
I could go on, but you get the idea. The income inequality gap continues to grow, as does the unwillingness to do anything about it. If you’re fortunate enough to be one of the “haves,” it’s probably difficult to see a problem when you live in a million-dollar house with two Teslas parked in your garage.
If you’re one of the “have-nots,” you lack the voice, the connections, and thus the political power to do anything about your situation. And so you pitch your tent underneath a freeway overpass and wonder where your next meal’s going to come from.
This is what I’m thinking about as CNN and MSNBC are celebrating tax avoiders like Jeff Bezos and Richard Branson. Perhaps I’d feel differently if they paid their fair share, but they’re not. They haven’t in the past…and they’re unlikely to do so in the future.
When I see Bezos’ capsule landing in the West Texas scrub brush, I don’t see a hero advancing the cause of science and space exploration. Instead, I see a parasite who’s made his fortune in part by taking advantage of the system that helped him become fabulously wealthy.
As someone who pays my taxes every year, I find that highly offensive.
And don’t even get me started on all good that could be done here at home with the money that’s being burned to send Branson and Bezos into space. The selfishness and egomaniacal nature of their endeavors turns my stomach.
Thanks for listening. This is Dick Metaphor signing off. Have a great Tuesday!!