Jim Jordan- As If Congress Needed A Village Idiot
If brains were dynamite, the Congressman from Ohio couldn't blow his nose
One of the most entertaining things in Congress, at least in my estimation, is watching Rep. Jim Jordan (R-OH) doing his “Feigned-outrage-’cuz-I’m-just-here-to-protect-REAL-Americans” schtick. It’s as fake as a porn star’s 42 DDDs, and everyone knows it. Unfortunately, he either lacks the self-awareness to recognize or is too dense to understand that everyone within earshot knows he’s mailing it in.
Jordan likes to think of himself as a fighter; it’s why you always see him without a suitcoat and with his sleeves rolled up. He works hard to project the image of himself as someone willing to do the dirty work and fight the good fight. He’s one of Donald Trump’s fiercest defenders, and someone really should check frequently to see if his lips are chapped from being attached to Orange Jesus’ ass.
Now and again, Jordan rips off a rant that he thinks is a winner but ends up crashing and burning spectacularly. This is the story of one of those moments.
Alas, Jordan seems to suffer from Selective Memory Syndrome, which seems to have afflicted most of today’s GOP. Unfortunately, the side effects include smug hypocrisy and a rampant disregard for reality.
First, the House January 6th Committee has a very narrow charge in that it can only investigate events related to the insurrection that occurred on…wait for it…January 6th.
Second, Jordan appears to have conveniently forgotten that he, along with the rest of the House GOP Caucus, voted against the Democrat’s anti-price gouging bill, which would’ve helped to keep a lid on gas prices.
Hypocrisy? Stupidity? Smug arrogance? Or a toxic amalgamation of all of the above? I’ll leave it for my gentle reader to decide for themselves.
In the meantime, Jordan’s got some ‘splainin’ to do, no??
Rep. Jim Jordan (R-Ohio) was called out on Thursday for trying to distract voters from an explosive day of hearings by the committee investigating the Jan. 6 assault on the U.S. Capitol by supporters of former President Donald Trump.
Thursday’s hearing included new information from Trump insiders on how his advisers urged him to declare victory before the votes had been counted in a plan hatched before Election Day….
Jordan has told a shifting story about whether he spoke with Trump on the day of the assault on the U.S. Capitol, and has refused to testify despite being subpoenaed by the committee.
And, as if to underscore just how spectacularly Jordan’s gambit failed, the Twitterati let him have it with both barrels. If Jordan were an aircraft carrier, he’d be resting on the bottom of the Marianas Trench.
Here’s a small sampling of the broadsides he took:
OK, that’s enough. I don’t know about you, but the “Hunter Biden Drag Queen Story Hour Committee” sounds interesting. Of course, for that to happen, Republicans would have to take the House next month, a prospect I’m not at all eager to see.
Oh, and before I forget, I should also mention Jordan’s other talent, for which he’s received much attention:
In the meantime, I’ll wait patiently until Gym Jordan next inserts his size 12s into his pie hole, which, if past is prologue, won’t be long. Jordan may be long on the will to fight, but he suffers from a deficit of brain power. That may be to his detriment, but it’s entertaining for the rest of us. Let’s face it; the man has the intellectual agility of a raccoon.
It’s what happens when one’s mouth shifts into fourth gear before one’s brain is out of neutral.
