J.R. Majewski - He Makes Lauren Boebert Look Like A Ph.D. Candidate
The "Let's Go Brandon" rap video will make your ears bleed
For those of us who’d thought QAnon had gone the way of MySpace and Roller Blades…well, we may have misunderestimated the staying power of that particular brand of crazy. Especially when combined with the double-digit IQ of one JR Majewski, QAnon has proven to have some staying power.
That’s not a good thing, by the way. Because the stupid is strong in this one. Very, VERY strong.
(In case my gentle readers are wondering, I take no joy from this sort of thing. Oh, Hell…who am I kidding? Of course, I’m enjoying this. One of our two major political parties is being hijacked by nutjobs with the IQs of rabid squirrels. How could I NOT enjoy it??)
For some reason, Majewski believes that he possesses the qualifications to represent the people of Ohio’s 9th Congressional district adequately. But, Good Lord, could it be that we might have a male version of Marjorie Taylor Greene on our hands?
THIS is the best that Republicans have to offer? Ho-lee Schitt.
J.R. Majewski, who attended Donald Trump’s insurrectionist Woodstock, is now the Republican nominee for Ohio's Ninth congressional House district. His previous claim to fame was wasting 120 gallons of paint to create a 19,000-square-foot "Trump 2020" banner in his front yard, which is apparently hella large. He should’ve considered a water feature instead.
Majewski later replaced the zeros in "Trump 2020” with Qs, presumably for QAnon. CNN reports that he’s also "shared other overt QAnon hashtags such as #QArmy, #PatriotsAwakened, #DemoPedo and #WakeUpAmerica and QAnon-themed memes, including an image of a "Q" colored in with an American flag and the "Where We Go One We Go All" QAnon catchphrase in July 2020.”
He’s since claimed that he’s “not Q,” which is not the same as rejecting QAnon. Whenever QAnon cultists say they’re “not Q,” they are only admitting that they’re personally not the theoretically anonymous cult leader.
No, he’s not QAnon. He probably doesn’t even know what a “Q” is. Of course, he’s QAnon; the guys crazier that Judge Jeanine Pirro on a coke binge.
But Majewski thinks he’s smart enough to be a Congressman? Well, perhaps he doesn’t have to be because he’s running in a majority-Republican district thanks to partisan gerrymandering in Ohio. And when MTG, Madison Cawthorn, and Lauren Boebert are your role models….
So, can this doofus join fellow doofuses (doofi?) Marjorie Taylor Greene, Lauren Boebert, and Madison Cawthorn in the House of Representatives? He’s running against incumbent Democrat Rep. Marcy Kaptur, who was first elected in 1982 and is the longest serving woman House representative in history.
But Guinness credentials aren’t a sufficient defense against partisan gerrymandering, and the Ninth District has gone from having a Democratic advantage to favoring Republicans. The Ninth District is known as the “Snake on the Lake” because of how it slithers along Lake Erie. It’s been described as one of the "Top Five Ugliest Districts."
I can’t speak to the Top Five Ugliest Districts designation, but Ohio’s 9th is one fugly piece of real estate. Still, someone has to represent it, and it seems as if the Republican goal has been to gerrymander Marcy Kaptur into a district she can’t win, which is where our intrepid hero, JR Majewski, comes in.
If you can’t beat ‘em, cheat ‘em.
Majewski may have the intellectual agility of a ‘72 AMC Pacer with bald tires, but he does have the one thing Republicans are looking for- he’s one of them. He doesn’t have to be exceptionally bright (he’s not) or have great ideas (he doesn’t). He only has to have an “R” behind his name (he does). The rest are just details. And QAnon types HATE details ‘cuz they only get in the way of perfectly good conspiracy theories.
Majewski parrots the standard QAnon line, which is at this point indistinguishable from mainstream GOP rhetoric: He smears Democrats as pedophiles, claims the 2020 election was stolen, and that the January 6 insurrection was peaceful except for all the violence the federal government instigated.
During his primary campaign, Majewski ran an ad where he wielded a mighty
penis substituteassault-style rifle and declared, “I’m willing to do whatever it takes to return this country back to its former glory. If I’ve got to kick down doors, well, that’s just what patriots do.” No, that’s what home invaders do.
Of course, he was carrying a penis substitute assault-style rifle…because how else would any REAL American know that he was serious? After all, no REAL Republican-type American could undertake a campaign without carrying a penis substitute assault-style rifle and hope to be taken seriously, right?
Because JR Majewski’s all about protecting freedom and liberty from Russian aggression Liberal tyranny (just as long as he doesn’t have to take REAL action- like going to Ukraine).
We’d like to think even right-leaning Ohio voters will pick the Democrat over the QAnon wacko, but they could also pull a Mark Esper and write in “John Kasich” or something silly. This isn’t the time to vote for idealized, make-believe fairytale Republicans who never existed in the first place. Take a leap of faith and go with the four-decade public servant. We promise she hasn’t been biding her time before finally unleashing socialism on the nation.
You know, the odds are pretty damned good that if Marcy Kaptur has been representing Ohio in Congress for 40 years, she’s probably been doing something right. You don’t get re-elected every two years for four decades unless you’re bringing home the bacon for your district and representing folks well.
Or you could take a chance on a wack-job who probably believes in Jewish space lasers and Democratic child molesters.
Majewski parrots the standard QAnon line, which is at this point indistinguishable from mainstream GOP rhetoric: He smears Democrats as pedophiles, claims the 2020 election was stolen, and that the January 6 insurrection was peaceful except for all the violence the federal government instigated.
Democrats are pedophiles…why? Because you’ve got no actual ideas or policy proposals, so what else do you have left but name-calling, character assassination, and impugning the reputation of a 20-term Congresswoman?
But, hey, you do you. Keep prattling on about the “stolen” presidential election that nobody stole. Or the violent January 6th insurrection that WAS violent because of the thousands of protesters who decided to attack law enforcement personnel and enter the US Capitol and defecate in the halls of Congress.
So, Ohio, maybe do the right thing and NOT vote for the guy with the IQ of a hamster, the common sense of Lauren Boebert, and the class of Rand Paul? Instead, maybe vote for the woman who’s come through for Ohio for 40 years and is a known quantity?
This shouldn’t need to be said, but Marcy Kaptur is intelligent, capable, experienced, and doesn’t need to carry a penis substitute assault-style rifle to prove her patriotism. Oh, AND SHE’S NOT A FREAK SHOW. But, hey…pedophiles, knowhutimean??
That shouldn’t have to be said, but when you look at the three-ring circus today’s GOP has devolved into, some things need to be spelled out.
When you consider that the GOP is the party of Matt Gaetz, Paul Gosar, Lauren Boebert, Marjorie Taylor Greene, Louie Gohmert, etc., ad nauseam, JR Majewski might bring the collective IQ down a notch or three. That’s no mean feat, but it does bring us closer to the GOP achieving their ultimate goal of turning America into the set of Idiocracy.
And that’s nothing in which any American should take pride.
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