Kyrsten Sinema- The Reason We Can't Have Nice Things

If she walks like an asshole, talks like an asshole, sounds like an asshole, and acts like an asshole...is it possible she could be an asshole?

No, this is not an outtake from MILF porn, but seeing as how Sen. Sinema might be out of a job….

Hey, kids…do you remember when we all thought Krysten Sinema was kinda cool? You know, a Democrat from Arizona in the US Senate? Not only that, she was openly bisexual in a hot “soccer mom/MILF” sort of way? In Washington, DC (“Hollywood for ugly people”), more than a few probably secretly thought, “Hey, here’s a Senator I could f**k!!

Yeah, and then she let the perks of being a US Senator get to her, and she became too cool for school. And she decided that with no effort, she could be a fly in the ointment, attract all sorts of attention, and maybe even booger things up (and make a few bucks) along the way.

And so she teamed up with Sen. Joe Manchin (D-WV), a Democrat in name only and who truly IS the corporeal embodiment of Evil. Before long, Sens. Manchin and Sinema were throwing sand in the gears of the legislative branch of the federal government and making life very difficult for President Joe Biden. Before, President Biden had counted on a solid (if thin) majority in the Senate. Now the President had to verbally fellate both Sens. Manchin and Sinema to get anything done.

Manchin, who’s been in Washington long enough to be sufficiently corrupt and malleable enough to know how to play the game, could at least speak the same language the President was. Sinema, however, had no clue and was getting all hot and bothered over the idea of having Congress hanging on her whims. She was learning to like being the center of attention, even if she quickly became reviled by Democrats in Washington and Arizona.

Republicans were trying to persuade her to switch parties, but what she did instead was even more self-centered. She announced that she would become an Independent, beholden/accountable to no one (and, presumably, available to the highest bidder).

Before long, everyone in Washington and the political media wondered what Kysten Sinema was doing, thinking, and having for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

Good news, everyone! Sen. Kyrsten Sinema from the Sinema Party is ready to greet her less-than-adoring public. She famously doesn’t talk much to the press. However, she’s up for re-election next year and her approval rating has flatlined. McKay Coppins at The Atlantic describes her situation in "The Kyrsten Sinema Theory of American Politics," which, like my high school theory of dating, has not proven in any way successful.

“Kyrsten Sinema knows what everybody says about her,” the article begins as if Sinema is the lead in an Edith Wharton tragedy. “I don’t really care,” she insists about her mostly negative press coverage, but she’s not a method actor who claims to never read their reviews or watch their own movies (they’re also lying, by the way). She acknowledges that her colleagues have called her an “egomaniac” and a “traitor.” (I think they were just trying to be nice and this was probably the best they could do.)

So, you might think that the whole point of breaking the silence in a major profile like this is to improve public perception of you rather than confirm to the world that you’re an insufferable asshole. But you just lack the political savvy of this future one-and-done senator.

Sen. Sinema might think she’s playing five-dimensional chess and is more intelligent than her myriad detractors. Her “I really don’t care” stance is a cover for “I don’t have any f*****g clue what I’m doing, and I’m torpedoing what’s left of my political career.”

We might’ve thought she was a Progressive at one time, perhaps because she spoke and acted like one. When she ran for the Senate seat she now occupies, her bisexual identity and her Progressive background led Democrats across the country to believe that Arizona was sending a certified Liberal firebrand to the Senate.

Then she took the Oath of Office, settled into work…and proceeded to blow things up. For Kyrsten Sinema, it’s more about personal ambition than party loyalty, and for those who watched her in Arizona, her act in Washington is nothing new.

As McKay Coppins says of Sinema,

Sinema tells me that there are several popular narratives about her in the media, all of them “inaccurate.” One is that she’s “mysterious,” “mercurial,” “an enigma”—that she makes her decisions on unknowable whims. She regards this portrayal as “fairly absurd”: “I think I’m a highly predictable person.”

“Then,” she goes on, “there’s the She’s just doing what’s best for her and not for her state or for her country” narrative. “And I think that’s a strange narrative, particularly when you contrast it with”—here she pauses, and then smirks—“ya know, the facts.”

Well, yeah, Sinema is highly predictable…predictably awful and dishonest. I don’t know what “ya know, the facts” she’s referring to, but if she’s seen and/or read any of the coverage of herself over the past three or four years, she’d understand what Coppins is referring to.

And if you’re among those Progressive Democrats blaming Sinema for why we can’t have nice things, you also know what the problem is. Kyrsten Sinema has taken advantage of a Senate split down the middle to optimize her personal power.

That’s about as slimy and self-serving as it gets. Then again, this is the Senate we’re talking about, which means she’s a quick learner and one of 100 borderline (and some not so borderline) egomaniacs.

If she ran for re-election today in Arizona, her odds of winning would be about the same as Kid Rock buying Dylan Mulvaney a Bud Light.

It’s doubtful that Republicans find Sinema’s toxic personality “charming.” It's not like they adore Ted Cruz or Josh Hawley, and those guys are reliable Republican votes. They just enjoy that Sinema annoys actual Democrats (it’s the Tulsi Gabbard effect)….

Sinema is set to end her political career after one term in the Senate where she alienated almost everyone who voted for her. She is likely to lose re-election even if the incumbent president from her former party manages to carry Arizona for a second time. If this is smart, we need to elect more dummies.

When confronted with her own past as an idealistic young activist who might’ve believed in something, Sinema goes full Darth Vader and seemingly relishes the fact that she's symbolically murdered her former self.

Sinema thinks she’s the most competent person in any room she’s in (“I am a long-term thinker in a short-term town” and “I prefer to be successful.”), which serves to make her the most toxic personality in any room she’s in

She’s sworn off her former activism as having been, in her own words, “a spectacular failure.” Now that she’s become, at least to her own estimation, more practical and mature, she’s sworn off civil disobedience in favor of getting things done, though she never seems to elucidate what those things are.

It’s almost as if once Sinema became a Senator, her view of herself changed, and she no longer saw any point in the values she had previously pushed. Now they were the stuff of immaturity, and she seeks to get essential things done, though her name has yet to be attached to anything of significance.

Kyrsten Sinema “acts like some tough-as-nails CEO who lays off thousands of people with a smirk.” And there’s nothing wrong with that if she only has to answer to a board of directors and shareholders. But as a US Senator up for re-election every six years, she must answer to the voters of Arizona, and all indications at this point are that she’ll get her ass handed to her in November 2024.

And deservedly so.

So has this six-year term been merely a means to set Sinema up for something else? Something bigger? Only she knows for sure, of course, but given how she’s carried herself while in office, the idea that she’s using the Senate as a stepping stone hardly strains credulity. She’s intelligent, ambitious (and, some would argue, ruthless), and young. Perhaps the idea of being trapped for multiple terms in a room with a bunch of horny old White men isn’t her idea of a good time.

And who could blame her on that count?

I can only hope that the people of Arizona are smart enough to see through their senior Senator…and elect someone to replace her who will represent their interests first and foremost.

As for Kyrsten Sinema, I hope she’ll end up someplace where she’s happy, feels she’s contributing, and can do no long-lasting damage. That would be a win-win for her, Arizona, and America.

Or maybe she could go to Hell. Go directly to Hell. Do not pass “Go.” Do not collect $200. (Apologies for the gratuitous “Monopoly” reference, but it’s appropriate.)