Lighten up, Francis- The "Woke Mind Virus" isn't killing Western Civilization

It might be playing havoc with your sense of entitlement, though

At the moment, getting bored has the inside track….

A grown man- especially the President- should not be licking ice cream in public.

• Jesse Watters, Fox News expert on (Democratic) Presidential etiquette

Has anyone else noticed the double standard that’s long been prevalent in the mainstream media, particularly in the Far-Right Echo Chamber, regarding President Joe Biden? It seems that no matter what he does or how well he does it, it never measures up to their memory of Donald Trump.

(Biden is boring, and boring doesn’t generate clicks or attract eyeballs. Trumps creates chaos everywhere he goes, which drives up ratings and makes editors and producers everywhere happy.)

It’s time for the media to admit their implicit bias, and own up to the reality that the myth of the “Liberal Media” is just that- a non-existent trope. It was invented by the Far-Right Echo Chamber to provide a smoke screen that allows them the freedom to do and say what they wish. They can do this even as they require the “Liberal Media” to stay between the lines.

Maybe it’s time we finally recognized that the “Liberal Media” isn’t- and never was- a thing. It’s never existed, save to add a patina of legitimacy to the Right-Wing Echo Chamber, which actually IS a real thing.

America’s mainstream media is owned by White Conservative Christian Cisgender Heterosexuals.

Shocking, I know….

And now, for a view behind the smoke screen….

Perhaps Jesse Watters finds himself being unacceptably sexually stimulated by the sight (or thought) of President Joe Biden licking an ice cream cone. Maybe it reminds him a wee bit too much of what he’s not getting from his wife, and so he’s limited to chasing Fox News interns and the high school girls who babysit his kids. I’m just spitballing.

Whatever the case, the idea that Watter, or anyone else, is telling the President of the United States what he should or shouldn’t be doing in public rather presumptuous, don’tchathink?

And why is it that Watters, who’s no Miss Manners himself and who made his name doing ambush interviews for Bill O’ Reilly, feels qualified to school the President on how to conduct himself in public? After more than four decades in public life, the President no doubt has a decent idea of what sorts of behaviors do and/or don’t go over well in public. Licking an ice cream cone is probably one of the more innocuous things he could be doing.

After all, it’s not like President Biden decided to drop trou and pleasure himself in front of the UN General Assembly…though that might be an effective way to tell the Russians what he thinks of them.

Then again, no one wants to see an 81-year-old Johnson flapping in the breeze while “Hail to the Chief” plays in the background, yeah? If I was Jesse Watters, I might worry more about your network’s chosen candidate facing 91 felony charges and the fact that come Election Day he might be a convicted felon.

I don’t know about anyone else, but that seems as if it should be a much bigger deal than licking an ice cream cone in public.

Besides, at least Joe Biden’s not a known rapist with close to a half-BILLION dollars in judgments against him and, among other things, a trial pending for buying a porn star’s silence for their affair.

In light of all of that, licking ice cream really DOES seem pretty trivial.

Oh, wait…but this is OK, right?

Yeah, sometimes the stupid is so glaringly obvious it’s like a slap in the face…but the Right-wing outrage machine is somehow completely oblivious. Let’s not call it hypocrisy, though…’cuz that ship has long since sailed….

And then, from the “Is it truth? Is it a lie? Does it even matter anymore?” Department, comes Donald Trump, Jr., who learned to lie early and often at the foot of the “master”- his father.

I may be off-base here, but I’d wager that Donny Cokespoon is probably the White man LEAST like to be referred to as "my hero” by a Black man…ANY Black man. I might be missing something, but given the virulently racist history of virtually the entire Trump clan, the “Hey, man, you’re my hero!” story seems like so much poorly crafted bullshit…and that might be an insult to bullshit.

Then again, as a very wise pundit once said, “the douche doesn’t fall far from the bag.”

Indeed, it does not.

Donald Jr. should be ever-so-grateful for his brother, Eric. Without Eric, he’d be the dumbest man on the face of the planet. He was born with a silver spoon in his mouth and has spent most of his life with that silver spoon shoved up his backside.

Eric thought it was a snow shovel.

Do they come any dumber than this? You’d have to look far and wide to find anywhere who could make Sen. Hyde-Smith look smart. Maybe Eric Trump on a good day.

(Narrator, sotto voce: Boy howdy, our next guest is dumber than 10 miles of bad road, y’all. Please welcome from Pigshart, Mississippi….)

I take no joy from trashing stupid intellectually inelastic people, but I have no problem yukking it up at their expense, because they’re invariably in the throes of the Dunning-Kruger Effect. This means they’re too stupid intellectually inelastic to understand how profoundly dense they are, and thus believe themselves to be quite smart.

And, yes, hilarity almost always ensues. In the case of Sen. Cindy Hyde-Smith (R-MS), it’s a guaran-damn-tee. Dumber than a box of hair and singularly unqualified for public service more complex than managing a Dairy Queen, Sen. Hyde-Smith always has a pained expression on her face. That’s probably because on the rare occasions that she has a thought, it legitimately hurts. Apparently quite a lot.

[W]e told you that Republican senators might very well block Democratic Senator Tammy Duckworth’s bill to protect IVF, even though many of them are currently jumping up and down swearing to Jesus that they aren’t going to steal your IVF. Because why would you need to protect IVF? It’s not like Republicans are coming for your IVF, ha ha just kidding, yes they are.

Well, they done blocked it!

As is usually the case with Duckworth’s bill, it was absolute idiot Mississippi Senator Cindy Hyde-Smith who did the deed. "The bill before us today is a vast overreach that is full of poison pills that go way too far," said Hyde-Smith. Whatever, batshit lady.

What kinds of poison pills? Uh, we don’t know, but here’s Hyde-Smith saying the bill will legalize the creation of “human-animal chimeras[.]”

And, no, you really don’t know how Sen. Hyde-Smith manages to butcher the pronunciation of “chimeras” (keye-MEHR-uhz). It’s not that difficult, but she makes it sounds like she’s spending her fourth year in remedial Sanskrit for Dummies 101.

Yikes….

She also said:

It would legalize human cloning. It would legalize commercial surrogacy, including for young girls without parental involvement. It would legalize gene edited designer babies and lift the federal ban on the creation of three parent embryos.

Sure thing, dipshit.

What, nothing about “human-animal hybrids?” Wasn’t that a Conservative obesession once upon a time?

Um, what if I wanted to clone my late Doberman Pinscher with the face of my ex-wife?

Democratic Senator Elizabeth Warren steered the conversation back to reality:

"This has always been about conservative politicians controlling women's bodies," Sen. Elizabeth Warren, D-Mass., said Wednesday. "This has been Donald Trump and the Republicans’ plan all along, and the opposition to Sen. Duckworth’s proposal today shows that Republicans are doubling down against reproductive freedom. They are coming for medication abortion, they are coming for birth control, and they are even coming for prenatal care. Make no mistake.”

This has never NOT been about policing women’s bodies. For Conservative politicians, women’s uteri should be the property and playground of the state, and women have no business believing they should be making their own decisions.

Reproductive rights and freedom are concepts only losers and Liberals could love….

The Far-Right is coming for anything that might protect women and make it safer. Why? Because they hate women…and because they can. What more reason do they need?

Misogyny is just a $25 word that belongs in a dictionary.

They absolutely are, and do not let them lie about it. Indeed, the Supreme Court is just about to hear arguments from clownshow doctors and dentists from the religious right about why the FDA approval for the incredibly safe abortion drug mifepristone should be banned.

Well, shit, if it’s safe, that will make it tougher to control the little ladies, won’t it?

If it’s tougher to control them, that means all the little sluts will want it.

If all the little sluts want it, that means they’ll be having sex all the damned time.

And if all the little sluts are having sex all the damned time, when will they have time to pop out babies, do our laundry, make our meals, clean our homes, and have our pipes and slippers waiting for us when we get home from a hard day of oppressing the poor and lower middle class?

THIS MUST NOT BE ALLOWED TO STAND!! OUR GREAT NATION AND THE PATRIARCHAL SOCIAL SYSTEM WE KNOW AND LOVE IS IN DIRE PERIL!!!

SAVE THE PATRIARCHY!!!

Besides, if all the little sluts are having sex all the damned time, when will I be able to bang my hot secretary…and my hot intern…and our hot babysitter…and the hot single mom next door…and the hot soccer moms…and the hot cashier at the grocery store…and the hot barista at the coffee shop…and, well, you get the idea….

You see, Jimmy, THAT’S why Daddy’s so tired all the time and can’t play catch in the back yard with you. He’s worn out, and the STDs take a lot out of you, knowwhutimean? And then there’s the paternity suits….

Adulting SUCKS.

Now be a good lad and bring Dad his ointment and bottle of Glenlivet, will you?

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