Litter Boxes In Schools- An Idea Whose Time Has Come

Students should also get mandatory walks and belly rubs

For reasons I struggle to understand, Republicans continue to maintain a stranglehold on stupid. Nevertheless, the willingness of some GOP devotees to believe the crazy, the outlandish, and the improbable without doing even a bare minimum of due diligence can be…highly entertaining.

No, Republicans don’t have a monopoly on stupid, but it does seem as if they’re far more prone to being victims of the Dunning-Kruger Effect than are Democrats.

In this case, the unfortunate dunce is Nebraska state senator Bruce Bostelman (R), who managed to convince himself that schools are putting litter boxes in school bathrooms because…well, it’s almost too stupid for words:

LINCOLN, Neb. (AP) — A Nebraska state lawmaker apologized on Monday after he publicly cited a persistent but debunked rumor alleging that schools are placing litter boxes in school bathrooms to accommodate children who self-identify as cats.

Sen. Bruce Bostelman, a conservative Republican, repeated the false claim during a public, televised debate on a bill intended to help school children who have behavioral problems. His comments quickly went viral, with one Twitter video garnering more than 300,000 views as of Monday afternoon, and drew an onslaught of online criticism and ridicule.

It’s difficult to know where to start with something so monumentally ignorant and lacking in basic facts. We’re talking about a rumor that, for some reason, won’t go away, and Sen. Bostelman jumped to the conclusion that it was Gospel before even looking into it.

It was on the Internet, so it had to be true…right???

An outraged parent brought up the rumor at a school board meeting in Michigan, and before anyone knew what had happened, it was everywhere. Kids all over the country were allegedly purring and peeing into litter boxes and barking at teachers.

Except that wasn’t happening. Anywhere.

Good Lord, but people can be dense.

Bostelman initially said he was “shocked” when he heard stories that children were dressing as cats and dogs while at school, with claims that schools were accommodating them with litter boxes.

“They meow and they bark and they interact with their teachers in this fashion,” Bostelman said during legislative debate. “And now schools are wanting to put litter boxes in the schools for these children to use. How is this sanitary?”

Of course, when an “authoritative” source for this information is a site called WeLoveTrump.com, one can be forgiven for despairing for the future of humanity.

Hey, it was on the Internet, so it MUST be…wait, I’ve heard that somewhere before….

Earlier this week, we reported that a teacher was fired after refusing to “meow” at a student who identifies as a cat.

Some people thought the story was fake.

Others thought it was exaggerated.

Well, we have news from ANOTHER school district.

It appears we may have a trend going on…

At a Michigan school board meeting, it was revealed that the school intentionally placed litter boxes in the bathrooms.

Why?

It was to be used for students who identified as cats.

If you want to preserve your IQ, I’d recommend avoiding WeLoveTrump.com, though the comments on this piece are pretty entertaining. Unfortunately, they’re also rather sad; these folks will almost certainly breed and pass their ignorance on to their offspring.

If all of this sounds like outtakes from “Idiocracy,” you’re not far wrong. Someone gets their panties in a wad, asks a stupid question at a school board meeting, and before your know it, we have a nationwide rumor that’s become Gospel in no time flat.

Because a lie can circumnavigate the globe twice in the time it takes the truth to get its sorry ass out of bed.

KIDS IDENTIFYING AS DOGS AND CATS! THEY’RE WEARING ANIMAL COSTUMES IN SCHOOL AND DEMANDING LITTER BOXES IN STUDENT BATHROOMS!

Restrict use of bathroom facilities to corners in the classroom with litter boxes (cats don't use bathrooms), restrict lunch to a bowl of cat food and a bowl of water, require harnesses with a leash and a handler when they are outside the building, mandate tags on collars and up to date rabies vaccine certificates.

None of that is true, but it gives outrage-addict parents and Conservatives something to hang onto. Because without their regular hit of unprovoked and unsubstantiated red meat provocation, the life force begins to drain from them.

Do the students who identify as dogs get twice-daily walks and mandatory belly rubs? Do they chase sticks? Do they bark at mail carriers? Do they pee on their desks to mark them?

You know, if Donald Trump was still President, NONE of this would be happening, right??

You can see how silly the rumor could become if drawn out to a logical extreme. That’s where Sen. Bostelman was heading. He even said that he’d be discussing this “issue” with the CEO of the Nebraska Department of Health and Human Services, who I suspect (hope) laughed him out of his office.

The sad truth about this rumor is that it’s become fodder for some parents and Conservative political candidates. Given the divisive nature of this country’s culture wars and the uproar in some red states about public restrooms and transgender people, this rumor was plausible enough to trigger the dense and easily manipulated.

I once had a semi-regular fitness I called “DUMBASS OF THE DAY” at my old blog. If I were still doing that, I'd rename it the “BRUCE BOSTELMAN AWARD.” He’s truly gone above and beyond in the service of dumbassery.

And, no, that’s not a good thing.

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