Litter Boxes In Schools- An Idea Whose Time Has Come, Part Deux

This is what happens when you don't have two functional brain cells to rub together

Spencer Soicher KRDO @spencersoicher

🧵: When I spoke with @heidiganahl this week, she doubled down on her comments that kids were identifying as cats in schools. On @KDVR, she said it was happening in Jefferson County. When I asked if she had any specific examples, Ganahl said, "many, many." #copolitics @KRDONC13

Once upon a time, and not so very long ago, I wrote a newsletter entitled

Litter Boxes In Schools- An Idea Whose Time Has Come

It was a very tongue-firmly-implanted-in-cheek look at what some Republicans feel is a genuine and serious problem. Some of them were legitimately concerned that schools were supplying litter boxes to students who identify as cats. No, I’m not joking, and yes, these mental misfits were dead serious. It was nothing if not a true “WTF???” moment.

Nevertheless, it became and has remained my most popular newsletter- I suspect because my readers appreciate a good Theater of the Absurd story as much as I do.

I posted the story and then just as quickly forgot about it. Surely, I thought, not even Republicans would be able to take ridiculousness seriously for very long.

We feel like it was mere months ago when if you wanted to hear a true story about children identifying as cats at school and demanding to use litterboxes at the front of the classroom, you had to find a Christian pastor who knew a Christian pastor who knew an elementary school furry, or maybe a teacher who is a furry who litterboxes in front of the students. Or at least a state-level lawmaker. It's real big on the local level, the stories about the children who are furries, who also demand that the tables in the cafeterias be lowered so they can eat at them like cats.

Or you had to ask Lauren Boebert. She knew about it.

OMG, I can be SO naive sometimes. And so badly mistaken. Not only was I wrong, but now it’s become a topic of controversy in TWO states- my home state of Minnesota (maybe it’s the water) and Colorado (the air??).

Now we have Republican candidates for governors — of entire states! — telling the furry litterbox stories, and we just really don't know what this says for our continued #BeBest as a nation, but it can't be good.

Scott Jensen is the Republican nominee for governor of Minnesota, and, well, he's just heard things. Disturbing things. And so he asked his supporters about the things.

“But what about education?” Jensen said. “What are we doing to our kids? Why are we telling elementary kids that they get to choose their gender this week? Why do we have litter boxes in some of the school districts so kids can pee in them, because they identify as a furry? We’ve lost our minds. We’ve lost our minds.”

WE’VE lost our minds? Pardon moi, Scott, but WE’RE not the ones believing this crap. You, however, seem fixed on things that aren’t true. Have you done even a bare minimum of due diligence?

Oh, sorry; I forgot. You’re a Republican; you can’t be bothered with something as prosaic and beneath you as fact-checking. Someone told you (or you saw it on Fox News), so it must be true. Fact-checking is for losers and Liberals, after all.

Of course, this madness could have been avoided if Republicans could’ve been bothered to Google “What is a furry?” If they’d done that, they might’ve learned a couple of things- first, that it’s not something kids are into, and second, it’s not something one “identifies” as. It’s more of a “hobby.”

Then again, it’s much more fun to lose your shit over something you don’t understand and see who you can take along for the ride. Unfortunately, it turns out there are more people who will believe the patently absurd and the just plain “out there” than the truth.

Then there’s the Republican Gubernatorial candidate in Colorado, one Heidi Ganahl, who has all the native intelligence of a 5-lb bag of French Roast coffee.

GANAHL: There is this REALLY WEIRD phenomenon that's happening in middle schools and high schools! It's actually been going on for a couple years! It's called FURRIES.

And kids, you know, kids are, they've gone through a really tough time, and they're struggling, so I have a lot of compassion for kids that are having, you know, difficulty right now, but schools tolerating kids dressing up as cats is not appropriate.

When the interviewer asked Ganahal if she had any specific examples of this “REALLY WEIRD phenomenon,” she responded by saying, “Many, many,” and that “ALL THE PARENTS” in the Denver metro area are sending emails about the “kiddie furries.”

I’m going to call B.S. on that one, mostly because she says “Many, many,” and then goes on without providing any specific examples. And it’s doubtful that “ALL THE PARENTS” in the Denver metro area are sending emails about the Broncos, much less about the “kiddie furries.”

If you’re going to lie, at least put some effort into it. Don’t insult the intelligence of those listening to you. And don’t present yourself in such a way that your listeners’ first response is, “Jesus, surely she can’t be that stupid??”

Of course, Ganahl, not being the sharpest tool in the box, launches breathlessly into what she’s sure will shock everyone listening to her:

“Not that many people know that we have furries in Colorado schools!”

“Have you heard about this story?” Ganahl asked [radio host Jimmy] Sengenberger. “Yeah, kids identifying as cats. It sounds absolutely ridiculous, but it’s happening all over Colorado and schools are tolerating it. It’s insane. What on earth are we doing? Knock it off, schools. Put your foot down. Like, stop it. Let’s get back to teaching basics and not allow this woke ideology, ideological stuff, infiltrate our schools. And it is happening here in Colorado. It’s why I moved from Boulder Valley to Douglas County, because it was happening in my kids schools four years ago.”

Have you heard this story a time or six? Republicans trying to pretend they’re S-M-A-R-T-T and revealing themselves to be idjits?

Ho-Lee Schitt, but Heidi Ganahl is some special kind of dense. Not only does she not have a clue about furries in schools (it’s not a kid thing, remember?), she probably couldn’t define “woke” if you spotted her Ron DeSantis and an Urban Dictionary.

Heidi Ganahl should be on a permanent court-ordered Thorazine drip for the safety of the general community. No one that brain-dead should be allowed into the general population unsupervised…much less permitted to run for Governor of any state. Except maybe Texas, Alabama, or Mississippi, where they’d welcome her with open arms.