Look for those who love and heal
Modern Christianity is "built on something fraudulent"
We all have things trending in our heads at any given moment; words that occupy the daily bandwidth of our thoughts and monopolize our attention as we move through the world. These words become the lenses through which we see everything—our worth and significance, the day set before us, the life we want now, the future well beyond us.
The things trending in our heads have incredible power to lift or derail us in the present and so we need to make sure of something: we need to make sure they’re not lies. We need to be certain that we do not begin to believe as gospel, what may not actually be true—lest we build our sense of peace and security in this day on something fraudulent.
When I look around right now I see many people for whom hopelessness seems to be trending; those worn down by a seemingly limitless stream of bad news, exhausted from their never-ending battles; people depleted and bitter and concluding that there is little reason to keep going.
If you know me at all, you know that Pastor John Pavlovitz is someone I greatly admire. I don’t want to place him on a pedestal, but he’s someone who represents, at least for me, everything Christianity should stand for. If you find it ironic for a confirmed atheist to admire a committed Christian, don’t worry. It is odd and ironic…and yet perfectly natural. This isn’t about religion. It’s about my admiration for someone who endeavors to live his faith and to be the kindest and most compassionate version of himself whenever possible.
As the Dalal Lama once said, “Be kind whenever possible. It’s always possible to be kind.” I don’t know about you, but that seems like a good motto to live by. It’s also a challenging standard to live up to, especially when mean-spiritedness and gratuitous cruelty seem to be all around us.
I met Pavlovitz three years ago and was immediately struck by his humility, compassion, and kindness. I made it clear that I didn’t believe in his God…and he was neither fazed nor threatened by my statement. He was far less interested in my theological orientation (or lack of same) than he was in my ability and willingness to exercise love and compassion.
My wife, Erin, introduced me to his writings once upon a time, and I was instantly captivated by his take on Christianity and its place in the world. His theology is not the too-common Evangelical “slash and burn” variety we hear and see so much of today. It’s not about broad, declarative statements telling the faithful what they MUST believe. It’s not about conflating social conservatism, ideological intolerance, and theological inflexibility with a Far-Right brand of politics closer to fascism than democracy.
For Pavlovitz, it’s about hope, compassion, love, tolerance, and acceptance- the things he believes Jesus Christ taught while He walked the Earth. But, truthfully, those things aren’t the sole province and property of “Christians” on the Far-Right. Indeed, while they may claim to be the party of God (so does the Taliban), they have more in common with Iranian mullahs than they do with Christian prophets.
Friend, if you’re there, I want you to know that I understand. I’ve been living alongside you there far too often, and that’s why I want to tell you the truth in a lucid moment: hopelessness doesn’t deserve to have the top spot in your head. It is not worth the joy it displaces. That hopelessness is a liar.
Christianity, for Pavlovitz, comes down to finding ways to make the world a better place. It’s about meeting people where they live. It’s about accepting people for who they are. It’s about understanding that living, loving, thinking, and believing differently aren’t signs of moral weakness. They’re merely signs of human diversity.
Humanity and human morality are not one-size-fits-all propositions. We should be less concerned with who and how others love than with celebrating that they DO love. After all, it’s not as if we’re suffering from an oversupply of love and happiness these days.
Hopelessness too often stems from resisting those things that would allow us to lead full, rich, and satisfying lives. Who doesn’t want to love and be loved? Who doesn’t want to be accepted? Yet, despite this, too many are more concerned with ensuring that the behavior of others fits into a narrow set of definitions intended to control what’s “right” and “appropriate.” Instead of celebrating the astonishingly wide variety and capacity of humans to love and accept others, they bemoan that so many live outside the bounds of “acceptable” morality.
As Pavlovitz says, hopelessness IS a liar. It wants to keep you in a place that doesn’t allow you to look past your own pain and suffering. It wants you to share that misery and torment with others…because misery really DOES love company.
When one is wrestling with hopelessness, it’s easy to feel as if pain and suffering are what’s waiting for you today, tomorrow, and every day after. Unfortunately, this is what too many contemporary Christians feed on these days. It’s not about loving their fellow man and helping them find peace and contentment. It’s not about assisting fellow human beings with becoming their true self and discovering what brings them joy.
Too often, it’s about convincing those who are struggling that the way to peace, love, and Jesus is to follow a strict interpretation of human sexuality and personal morality. It’s too often the truth that exactly the opposite is needed for a person to flourish. Modern Christianity is too often more about hypocrisy and control than personal freedom…and that’s perhaps the biggest reason why I’ve wanted nothing to do with it. I will control my own life and morality; no one and nothing else has the right to impose their will on me.
Lest my gentle reader finds themselves wondering if perhaps I’m borderline amoral, allow me to assure you that nothing could be further from the truth. I live by a simple code: DON’T BE A DICK. Sadly, many Christians could benefit from adopting a similar philosophy.
I don’t believe that Christianity has anything of value to offer me. Even so, if more Christians were like John Pavlovitz, this world would be a far kinder and more peaceful place. The fact that he’s an outlier and not part of the baseline is an indictment of what Christianity should be all about- loving, helping, and healing. Still, a few people like him are better than none…and this world can always use a voice advocating for love, kindness, acceptance, and healing.