Man, I did Nazi that coming

They like me...they really like me...I think.

Into every weekend a little Monday must fall, eh? Man, I fucking hate it when that happens. Especially when I’d just spent the night at my happy place on the Oregon Coast. The good news, I suppose, is that I returned to the news that opening statements in Agolf Shitler’s hush-money trial began in New York.

Perhaps there’s hope for AmeriKKKa yet, eh?

So, a quick follow-up on a post from a couple of weeks ago when I was experiencing one of my semi-annual existential crises regarding this newsletter, in which I found myself asking a few questions:

• Hello, is anyone out there?

• Is anyone reading this?

• Am I just screaming into the void?

• Am I merely a pathetic voice with nothing to say except to the voices in my head who put up with me only because they can’t escape?

Yeah, those questions. I’ve been doing this since shortly before 9/11, and those of you who’ve read my work for any length of time know that I go through this once or twice a year. It’s like I’m channeling my inner Woody Allen, only without the Jewish angst.

I was raised Lutheran; we don’t admit to our angst. We plow ahead; damn the torpedos.

There’s some good news, though. No one’s going to confuse me for

Heather Cox Richardson

, who’s made Substack her bitch, but over the past 30 days, my subscriptions have increased by just a dog hair shy of 50%. If I go back about 45 days, they’ve doubled. For some reason, things have picked up after three years. I have no idea why, but subscriptions are like money- more is always better.

These are unpaid subscriptions, but it means people are reading my work, which is insanely gratifying. I feel like I’m due a Sally Field moment:

THEY LIKE ME!! THEY REALLY LIKE ME!!!

OK, so that felt nice…but what’s good about all of this is that if this trend continues in this direction, in perhaps 2-3 months, I should be able to concentrate on North Stars & Cowboys Bars more fully and begin to produce some more in-depth and…be still, my foolish heart!!…maybe even some paid content. Right now, I’m not sure what that might look like, but a boy can dream, no?

Shameless self-promotion alert: This seems like a good time to mention that I done wrote me a book! OK, it was back in 2020, but it still holds up, and it’s still getting good reviews from some of the finest people I know.

You can find it on Amazon if you’re interested.

The book includes a chapter in which I argue that the world would be a better place if everyone had a dog. I realize that’s not a tough argument to make and support, but I devoted a lot of words to it, and I’m pretty proud of it.

Before too much longer, I’ll begin working on a new book. The current working title is It Seemed Like A Good Idea At The Time. I’m planning on it being a tongue-firmly-implanted-in-cheek look at our world…’cuz Lord know we’re all WAY too serious these day.

Some of the chapter titles I’m working on include

• American Dystopia: God hates us and wishes we would eat a bag of dicks

• I’m 99% certain my last words will be, “Are you fucking kidding me?

• I did Nazi that coming

• ADD isn’t for sissies

There will be others, of course, some of which may or may not have to do with Donald Trump’s flatulence, but it’s in the early stages, and I’m still gathering ideas. I’m going to have fun with it because I’m tired of reading serious, turgid political dissertations about how Donald Trump fucked America. Variations of that book have been written at least 3,457 times, and I’ve read most of them. I’m as done with that genre as most of y’all are.

Speaking of turgid political dissertations, here’s something from the wayback machine, my old blog from the Dark Ages:

The more things change, eh?

Of course, I realize I’m not changing hearts and minds here; I’m preaching to the choir. Except, of course, for the woman who emailed me the other day and screamed at me in all caps, “JACK CLUTH, YOU LIE!!!”

I have no idea what that was about, but I emailed her back and politely asked her to provide me with an example of what she might have been referring to.

I’m still waiting for a response…and I’ll not be holding my breath on that count.

Honestly, I’m surprised I don’t get more negative responses, but I suppose that shows how genuinely divided this country is. Of course, I don’t waste time seeking out Conservative newsletters on Substack because…well, why? What would or could I expect to learn? That being the case, I can’t very well expect Conservatives to be paying attention to what I have to say.

Somewhere along the way, though, we need to find a way to sit down and talk across the divide—and not just talk, but listen across that gulf. Both sides—red and blue—are so entrenched and defensive now that there’s no room for conversation, for listening to the ideas of people who think differently. We lob rhetorical grenades, yet we’re surprised and upset when the other side lobs their own in return.

I want to think that things like this newsletter might contribute to such a meeting of the minds, but I’m fully aware that most of my content doesn’t lend itself to mediating misunderstanding or finding common ground. I know that much of what I write here is grounded in frustration with the other side and having fun at the expense of those who, like Trump supporters, are grounded in something that in no way resembles reality.

In the meantime, I can’t fix reality or force those who insist that chemtrails are the government’s way of forcing us to vote for Democrats to stop traveling down rabbit holes. That said, I can focus on what I’m doing here. And I can also focus on having fun doing it. After almost 23 years, that hasn’t been a problem. Writing continues to be equal part therapy, art, and screaming into the void. It keeps me sane and helps me connect with the world. As long as that continues to be the case, I keep on keeping on.

I’m not a storyteller, and I don’t have the attention span to write a novel. That much I can blame on my ADD, though I think much of it is that I lack the courage to push myself in that direction. I like being an essayist. I can say my piece in 1500-3000 words and be done with it.

Then I’m on to the next dragon in need of slaying, yeah?

I want to be the best writer and communicator I can be. If someone screams “YOU LIE!!” now and then…well, that’s the price one pays for putting one’s work out into the void. Once I hit “PUBLISH,” I lose control over how it’s perceived and/or interpreted. That’s the peril and, honestly, the fun of it. As long as the fun continues, I’ll be doing this in one form or another.

Stay tuned. The future will be here before you know it. Thanks for coming along for the ride.

All of my posts are public at this time. Any reader financial support will be greatly appreciated. There’s no paywall blocking access to my work (except for a few newsletters), but that remains an option. I’ll trust my readers to determine if my work is worthy of their financial support and at what level. To those who do offer their support, thank you. It means more than you know.