Marjorie Taylor Greene- Queen Of Word Salads
Too bad her only "decent" ideas involve Jewish Space Lasers and the Gazpacho Police
OK, I’ll admit it. If I were a better person, I’d ignore the cornucopia of stupid that vomits forth constantly from Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene (R-GA). Unfortunately, just when I think she’s FINALLY plumbed intellectual and moral rock bottom, she demonstrates once again that she inhabits a barrel with no bottom.
MTG is what happens when you’re a walking, talking proof of the Dunning-Kruger Effect. She’s too intellectually bereft to grasp how astonishingly dense she truly is. Combine that with a world-class lack of self-awareness, and you have a freshman Congresswoman who honestly believes she’s Kind of a Big Deal.
Seriously, y’all; NO ONE who argues that California wildfires are caused by Jewish Space Lasers possibly built by Rothschild, Inc. is Kind of a Big Deal. She should be in a psych ward on a Thorazine drip instead of occupying a seat in Congress.
(Don’t get me started on the intellectual and moral lightweights from MTG’s North Georgia congressional district. She didn’t get to Congress by herself, after all; she was elected by people even dumber than she is- as difficult as that might be to imagine.)
In this case, though, MTG is at her “If I had two, I’d be King!” finest. Because, as any REAL American knows, Presidenting is EASY- just as long as you’re a Republican. I mean, look at what Donald Trump accomplished, right?
So, she starts us off with a bang:
I would radically deregulate, incentivize, and build 100% confidence in our country’s businesses- large and small to unleash and rebuild the power of the American economy.
Amazing, isn’t it? One, long run-on word salad- 26 words that, when combined, mean absolutely nothing. Hey, Marge, how do you plan to accomplish those things? Because specific ideas are the sorts of things people look for from a monarch President or someone aspiring to that office.
OK, so after starting us off with the curve, she hits us with the fastball:
In a very short time, America would dominate the world’s economy and cripple our enemies (sic) ability to wage war against other countries.
‘Cuz it’s just that easy, don’tchaknow?
It’s a shorter word salad this time, but she still manages to omit the only important part of her argument- the details. HOW will America dominate the world’s economy? How will we cripple the ability of our enemies to wage war against other countries? And shouldn’t a Congresswoman have an editor on her staff to catch her mistakes before they go live on Twitter? Er…DUH….
Russia would be broke.
China’s fake fragile economy would fail.
And hard working Americans would be wealthy, successful, & happy.
See how EASY Presidenting is? Don’t you wish every Republican was as batshit crazy bold and statesmanlike as MTG?
Or something like that, right?
Of course, once the Twitterati got ahold of MTG’s plan to save America and the world, it received a much less robust reception.
And here was my personal favorite:
Of course, between Jewish Space Lasers and the Gazpacho Police, MTG has enough problems mastering basic logic. The only way she’s going to become President is if, in the aftermath of a nuclear holocaust, she’s the only American left on the continent. If that’s the case, she can have it.
Until then, she’ll be busy figuring out how to do Donald Trump’s dirty work and somehow manage to get re-elected to Congress. Of course, in anywhere else but North Georgia, I’d say she doesn’t stand a chance, but her constituents might be dumber than she is, so anything’s possible.
I do find her choice of the word “noose” to be…disturbing, especially from someone so thoroughly racist and fixated on the Gazpacho Police.
More than anything, though, she needs to work on her “If I was President” daydreams.
Fewer word salads and more specifics, don’tchathink?
Thank you for taking the time to read this. North Stars and Cowboy Bars is a reader-supported newsletter and a wholly-owned subsidiary of the Society for the Elimination of Jewish Space Lasers. I hope you’ll take a few seconds to join the party and support my work via a paid subscription. While you’re at it, why not forward this to a few like-minded friends who might enjoy it!! You can also donate via Venmo (@Jack-Cluth).