"May Cause Permanent Resting Constipation Face In Some Patients"

Tyranol- Because sometimes Conservatives just need to forget what they've said about Vladimir Putin

Are you a Conservative who’s loudly and frequently heaped praise upon Russian President Vladimir Putin? Are you now embarrassed by the comments that are public record and often played back and used against you? Would you like it all to go away?

Well, now you can make your memory of all those embarrassing allusions to Putin’s “brilliance” disappear with Tyranol. BigPharmaCo’s ground-breaking new drug will help you forget that you ever thought anything even faintly positive about the Russian dictator/war criminal.

Tyranol acts by erasing any previously held inconvenient beliefs from your mind. So when someone brings up previous statements, you can say with no hint of irony or dishonesty, “I don’t recall ever saying that. Obviously, Vladimir Putin is a bloodthirsty war criminal whom the West must bring to justice.”

Hey, if it can work for Mike Pompeo, think about what it can do for you!

Of course, Tyranol ER (extended release) is not 100% guaranteed. Some users have experienced some unfortunate side effects, including furry palms, delusions of grandeur, and the mistaken belief that one is actually Tom Brady. Some lesser-known side effects include erections that last more than 12 hours and an unnatural sexual attraction to farm animals. Tyranol ER has not been approved by the FDA for all users because of the prevalence of these odd and unusual side effects.

Oh, and we shouldn’t forget about resting constipation face in some patients, which can become permanent if not treated immediately.

Remember, “It’s time to stop regretting and start forgetting.” Because no good Conservative wants to remember just how egregiously wrong they’ve been.

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