MTG- Crazier than a shit house rat and dumber than a post turtle
Only in the GOP can stupid, bombastic, and criminal pass for the Holy Trinity
(There’s ignorant, there’s stupid, but there are no words for whatever Marjorie Trailer Greene is)
I’m honestly, deeply, unbelievably tired of writing about Rep. Marjorie Trailer Greene (R-GA). Every time I throw together 1000-1500 words about her latest idiotic pronouncement(s), I publish it with a sense of relief. Finally, I think to myself; there’s NO WAY she could say or do ANYTHING more thoroughly brain-dead than what I just wrote about.
Surely I’m done with her. Right???
Then she goes and proves me wrong. And in a way I couldn’t possibly have imagined. I can be SO naive at times.
I can't begin to understand how MTG manages to get through her days without scuffing her knuckles. She’s crazier than a shithouse rat, dumber than a post turtle, and utterly incapable of comporting herself in a manner one would expect of a Congresswoman.
Case in point: During a speech in New York City over the weekend, she told a room full of young Republicans in their Sunday best where they can find butt plugs.
I wish I were kidding.
I spent my Saturday night making homemade nachos and catching up on White Lotus Season 2, which is watchable but not as good as Season 1. Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene (R-Ga.) spent hers on stage at the New York Young Republicans Club gala, announcing to a room full of people in fancy dresses that butt plugs are now on sale at Target and CVS.
Of course, the obvious response to that would be a bon mot about Republicans being assholes, but alas, MTG was on a roll.
Unfortunately, it was not a joke about all of those people being assholes, which might have been a funny thing to say while accepting an award from them. It was part of a transphobic rant about grooming, or something, because trans people are definitely sneaking butt plugs onto the shelves of CVS right next to the NyQuil to trick the whole world into being gay. One look at a dildo and that’s it, you’re getting forced into a same sex marriage the next day, regardless of your sexual preferences.
But seriously, why is Greene suddenly going off about butt plugs? Did she go to Target to pick up toothpaste and happen to notice a butt plug on aisle five that sent her into a moral tailspin? No! She has no original thoughts. This is a thing she saw on Tucker Carlson’s show earlier this week, wherein FOX’s butt plug correspondent spelled out in detail the cost of a buzzy butt, tush cush, and accompanying lotion at CVS—because the ease of buying sex toys in this country is absolutely a bigger crisis than the ease of buying an AR-15.
But, of course! Don’t all good God-fearing White Conservative Christian heterosexuals get all the news that matters AND their talking points from Tucker Carlson? If I were an asshole and a Conservative, I certainly would.
How would MTG and the rest of the Conservative (not so) intelligentsia know what to vent their spleens about if not for Carlson showing them the way? He is, after all, their Alpha and their Omega, their Light and their Truth, their Beavis and their Butt…oh, never mind.
And…wait? You can get butt plugs and dildos at CVS and Target now?? Well, that certainly makes planning for the weekend much easier, doesn’t it?
The Tucker Carlson-segment-to-Marjorie-Taylor-Greene-speech pipeline is well trodden, but her willingness to completely humiliate herself in service of him is always infinity times funnier than her actual punchlines, which last night also included this one: “They care about a country called Ukraine whose borders are far away and most of you couldn’t find it on a map.” While it is probably true that neither Greene nor anyone in that room can find Ukraine on a map, that’s really not the burn on Democrats that she thinks it is.
Anyway, I’d like to think MTG’s inadvertent plug for butt plugs and dildos at Target led to a really fun night for everyone in attendance at that gala. She finally did something useful.
The sad part is that while MTG is cracking jokes about Ukraine, people are suffering and dying- and there’s nothing remotely humorous in that. That sort of “humor” is callous, cruel, and pretty damned inhuman.
(I’d like to sentence her to a month in Kyiv in a 17th-floor walk-up with no heat, electricity, or water. Ah, but I digress. That’s my ADD talking.)
Then again, one could make a lot of money betting against MTG’s humanity because you’d need a magnifying glass and a pair of tweezers to find it.
As far as the bit about buttplugs goes, being that she’s an asshole, it was nice to see her finally talking about something she understands. She’s usually pretending (and failing utterly) to understand something far beyond her feeble brainpower and world-class arrogance. (See, “Gazpacho Police,” and “Jewish Laser Beams,”)
MTG’s a power-hungry, intellectually-deficient poster child for the Dunning-Kruger Effect.
During her speech, she also made it clear that if she and Steve Bannon had been responsible for the planning and execution of the January 6th insurrection, it would’ve been successful. And the insurrectionists would’ve been armed.
MTG is a sitting member of Congress. And she’s advocating for how she would’ve handled the overthrow of the federal government and installed Donald Trump as Leader for Life.
And she’s admitting to sedition.
Move along, y’all. Nothing to see here….
Wow…ya think???
sedition
[ si-dish-uhn ]
See synonyms for sedition on Thesaurus.com
📙 Middle School Level
noun
incitement of discontent or rebellion against a government.
any action, especially in speech or writing, promoting such discontent or rebellion.
Archaic. rebellious disorder.
So why hasn’t MTG been arrested and charged with sedition? Why hasn’t she been held accountable as some of the hundreds of other rioters have? While she may not have been among the rioters on January 6th, she certainly provided aid and comfort to them. And “any action, especially in speech…” is part of the definition of sedition, is it not?
Or is the Department of Justice afraid that arresting and charging a vocal member of the Rabid Right’s MAGA Caucus would set off riots? I mean, come on, y’all; it’s no secret that Conservatives get a free pass for behavior they’d demand Liberals be hung by the testicles for, but this is offensive.
MTG indicted herself for sedition in a very public forum. She admitted that she openly supported the January 6th insurrection, but also would’ve won it in a way that would’ve significantly increased the body count. If she’d had her way, many more politicians and law enforcement personnel would’ve perished- and the federal government would’ve almost certainly been toppled.
All because of the Big Lie. Donald Trump DIDN’T win the 2020 Presidential election, regardless of what she and millions of other propagandized pinheads have chosen to believe. Losing an election is not ipso facto evidence of election fraud; it’s evidence that one candidate received more votes than their opponent.
That’s democracy. For every winner, there’s a loser. Not everyone goes away happy, but that’s not an excuse to stage a violent revolution.
Marjorie Trailer Greene needs to be removed from her seat in Congress, along with anyone else who was involved in supporting the January 6th insurrection. She won’t be, of course, because neither the Justice Department, soon-to-be House Majority Leader Kevin McCarthy, or anyone else in positions of power have the cojones to do so.
The fact is that McCarthy and most of the Republicans in Congress are terrified of MTG. They know that she’s a loose cannon with a large, rabid, and thoroughly unhinged following. They also know she can raise money like no one’s business. As much as they may despise her, they’re fully aware they need her.
MTG may have the IQ of a Georgia pine tree, but she’s as ruthless, devious, and nasty as the day is long. She was likely all of that before she came to Congress, but adding political power has meant including corruption and shamelessness to the toxic equation.
She may be an attention whore, but she uses that to her advantage in a way few of her colleagues could. And she manages to get away with saying things few could. Why? Well, when you’re famous for things like “Gazpacho Police” and “Jewish Space Lasers,” you’ve already set the bar pretty low.
Somehow, she managed to handily win re-election over Marcus Flowers, a very qualified and capable Democrat, who among other things is a veteran. Flowers had the unfortunate handicap of being Black, something which doesn’t sit well among White Conservative Christian heterosexuals in north Georgia. Ultimately, he couldn’t overcome racism, and MTG was sent back to Congress.
Yay, democracy….
[Insert lamentation about getting exactly the quality of leadership you deserve here.]
