"Nick Rolovich" isn't an anagram for "stupid, arrogant, and selfish"- but it should be

Remember when he said he'd take care of your kids? Yeah, about that....

More than a few of us wouldn’t have been able to stifle a laugh, or at least a smirk, when it was announced Washington State head coach Nick Rolovich got shitcanned because he wouldn’t get the COVID-19 vaccine.

It’s fun for all when someone in this profile gets what’s coming to him simply because he refuses to stop being an asshat. But this particular jackass ending up out in the trash is satisfying, as it would be with any college football coach. Because when Rolovich, or whoever was his go-between, was out recruiting players, how many parents did he tell that he would have their kids’ best interest as his biggest priority? Unless, of course, it got in the way of his owning the libs. Gotta have his priorities straight, obvs.

How many times did he say to someone that he’d look out for his players, that he would help the grow? Except he’d happily put them in danger if he thought Fox News would disapprove. That’s how much his players’ health really meant to him.

Imagine for a moment that you’re the parent of a talented small-town quarterback. There are football factories from all over the countries- Alabama, Georgia, Texas A&M, Mississippi State, Oregon, and others too numerous to remember- all telling you they can turn your son into an NFL prospect. If he works hard, maybe he can one day become the next Tom Brady and play in the NFL until he’s 206.

Coaches have traversed through your living room by the dozens, their ample butts wearing a pattern in your favorite recliner that will never go away. They’ve all told you about their football program, the academics (yeah, it’s an institution of higher learning, remember??), and the opportunities your son will have to grow.

(Translation: Think of how often he’ll get laid!!!)

In the end, after lengthy conversations with you, your son decides to go to Washington State (Where in the HELL IS Pullman, WA, anyway??) He thinks he can be the next Drew Bledsoe or Sonny Sixkiller, and he likes Coach Nick Rolovich, who seems like a solid guy. He appears to be an honest and likable guy- a “player’s coach,” as many have described him.

WSU feels right. While your son can drop a tight spiral into an outhouse toilet from 70 yards, he’s only left Smallville a few times. Cougarville feels like the sort of small-town atmosphere that will embrace him and make him feel at home.

Coach Rolovich is excited and promises to look after your son as if he was his own. So, you’re happy, your son’s over the moon, Coach Rolovich is ecstatic, and Cougar Nation can almost taste the Pac 12 titles.

Yep, Martin Stadium’s gonna be ROCKING!!!

Of course, all of that happened before COVID-19 rocked our world and changed everything. Once the vaccines came out, millions of Americans refused to take the shots;

“I DON’T KNOW WHAT’S IN THE VACCINE!”

“ I HAVEN’T DONE MY RESEARCH YET!”

“MY COUSINS SAID HIS BALLS SWOLLED UP TO THE SIZE OF WATERMELONS!”

“MY PASTOR TOLD ME THE VACCINE WILL CHANGE MY DNA, WHICH MEANS I CAN NEVER MEET JESUS!”

“I HEARD ON FOX NEWS THAT THE VACCINES CONTAIN WITH BLENDERIZED HUMAN FETUSES!”

“MY PREGNANT SISTER GOT THE J&J VACCINE, AND SHE GAVE BIRTH TO A WOLVERINE!”

Never mind that the vaccine is FAR less risky than COVID-19. Logic and data mean nothing to these folks. Unfortunately, it turns out that Nick Rolovich is one of them.

As coach of the WSU football team, Rolovich is the highest-paid state employee in Washington. And, no, do NOT get me started on the f****d-up set of priorities on the Upper Left Coast- ‘cuz it’s like that pretty much everywhere.

Rolovich makes $3 million per year to coach football at an obscure little state school in the middle of the frickin’ Palouse. Nice work if you can get it, eh?

Ah, but all was not well in eastern Washington, which is Trump country and a place where the vaccine is compared to Satan’s butt sweat. I have a friend who lives in Spokane; he’s a doctor whose family practice is in Davenport, a small town even more remote and Conservative than Pullman. The vaccination rate in and around Davenport continues to hover in the mid-30-percent range.

Yeah, that’s pretty awful. And that number seems unlikely to change.

To combat the illness and death rate among the unvaccinated, Washington Governor Jay Inslee ordered state employees to get inoculated. His order was issued in early summer and carried an October 18th deadline- this past Monday.

Among the unvaccinated were WSU football coach Nick Rolovich and four members of his coaching staff.

Monday came. Rolovich remained unvaccinated. As a result, Rolovich and the four unvaccinated members of his staff lost their jobs.

Washington’s governor Jay Inslee, a Democrat, had set a deadline of Monday for thousands of state employees, including the Cougars’ coach, to be vaccinated. Rolovich applied for a religious exemption, which was denied on Monday, Washington State athletic director Pat Chun said.

“This is a tough day for Washington State football,” Chun said at a news conference. “Nobody wants to be here.”

Also fired for refusing vaccination were assistant coaches Ricky Logo, John Richardson, Craig Stutzmann and Mark Weber. Chun said there may be no precedent for a team losing its head coach and so many assistants in the middle of a season.

“Our student-athletes are the biggest losers in this,” he said.

The 42-year-old Rolovich was the highest-paid state employee in Washington with an annual salary of more than $3m in a contract that runs through 2025. He had said he wouldn’t get vaccinated but wouldn’t specify his reasons. He was the only unvaccinated head coach in the Pac-12 and had worn a mask during games.

Rolovich was fired for cause, which means the university does not have to honor the rest of his contract, although lawsuits over the decision are likely. The Washington State athletic department is currently facing a shortfall of more than $30m.

Initially, Rolovich said he would comply with the vaccine mandate, but as the summer went along, he did nothing to make that happen. Eventually, he announced he would seek a religious exemption to allow him to forego the vaccine.

Rolovich never elucidated those beliefs, though, according to Chun, he was resolute in his determination not to get vaccinated.

And how quickly would he have gone in on a player who refused a trainer’s or doctor’s orders? If a player slacked off his rehab or wanted a second opinion? Do you think he would have said that player wasn’t putting the team first? Of being selfish?

Or what if a player wanted to follow his political beliefs and form some sort of protest on the field or his uniform? Wouldn’t he have been labeled a distraction? We’re about football here, son. Save the rest for your own time….

I know Washington State isn’t in the top tier anymore, but it still carries a name. Players went there for some sort of promise. And then they watched this dickhead make up some personal principle because he thought it would make him tougher — it’s always about looking tough to these hilljacks — and head right out the door with it.

So, all that time, Rolovich sat in your living room, imprinting his butt cheeks on your recliner; was he blowing smoke at you and your son? Was he telling you what he thought you needed to hear?

It was all just a sales job. You just found out that major college football is a business and that it needs talented 18-year-old boys to feed its meat grinder.

Congratulations, you just got suckered.

When all was said and done, Nick Rolovich did what he thought was best for Nick Rolovich. Period. Nothing and no one else mattered. The sooner you learn- and remember- that, the better off you’ll be.

As for Rolovich, I can only hope there will be a reserved parking space waiting for him in Hell. I know I don’t believe in Hell, but consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds. You can smell what I’m cooking here.

He made $3 million A YEAR…and he pissed it all away for reasons no one knows or understands. If that isn’t just about the stupidest thing ever, I don’t know what would be. Nick Rolovich’s firing is self-inflicted, and if he’s looking for sympathy- or even understanding- he’s going to be disappointed.

Indeed, his self-inflicted termination reeks of selfishness and stupidity, particularly since he’s never articulated WHY he refuses to be vaccinated.

BTW, “no one tells me what to do” is not an acceptable stance for anyone who receives a paycheck from an institution, business, or individual. Rolovich invalidated the “no one tells me what to do” argument by accepting that paycheck- if that’s even the hill he’s choosing to metaphorically die on.

Rolovich has only himself to blame. Honestly, I have to question the intelligence and integrity of someone who’d walk away from a $3 million/year job he reportedly loved. Especially when he never gave voice to his reasons for being so stubborn and misguided.

Ultimately, this sorry saga ended the only way it could. And the only people I feel sorry for are WSU’s football players and their parents, who thought they were entrusting their progeny to someone who’d be true to his word.

In a just and honest world, Nick Rolovich would struggle every day to determine where his next Big Mac is coming from and how he’s going to pay for it. No, he’ll probably never have to work another day in his life. Unlike most of us, he can afford to sacrifice his career for his principles.

Whatever those principles might be.

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