No Serious Neo-Nazi Wears Walmart Khakis- The White Supremacist Glee Club Comes To DC

But one man- Joe Flood- was having none of it, which is why he's my new hero

Part of the problem with America these days is that there are too few people like Joe Flood. Who is he, you might rightfully ask? He’s no one particularly notable, save for the fact that when the “White supremacist glee club known as ‘Patriot Front’” marched in Washington, DC, Joe Flood was there to greet them.

It wasn’t like Flood was there to be a one-person Welcome Wagon. No, he was there to tell the masked cowards precisely what he thought of them. And it was rather amusing, not because he was rude or mean (he wasn’t), but because his insults were so comical.

“Hi, fascists.”

“No one likes you.”

“Your mom hates you. Your friends hate you.”

“You were the losers of your high school class.”

“You’re sloppy. You’re not even matching.”

“You all have different types of pants on. Cargo pants are out.”

“Reclaim your virginity.”

“You’re wearing Walmart khakis.”

There was more, of course, but the beauty in Flood’s performance was that, just as the Proud Boys were exercising their 1st Amendment rights, so was he. And in doing so, he made the White supremacist wannabe fascists look like a disorganized Boy Scout jamboree.

Truthfully, the Proud Boys did look pretty pathetic with a decidedly nonathletic White guy on a rent-a-bike talking over the oh-so-serious speech that almost no one standing nearby was paying attention to. They knew Joe Flood was stealing the moment from them, and there wasn’t a damned thing any of them could do about it.

With a DC bicycle cop next to Flood to make sure things didn’t get out of hand, Flood’s impromptu comedy at the expense of the (now not so remarkably) Proud Boys continued.

That none of the marchers dared to show their faces tells you all you need to know about the “courage” of the Proud Boys marching in DC. So much for the courage of their convictions, eh? None of these “patriots” wanted to get “doxxed” and lose their jobs at McDonald’s when they got home to East Bumfukk, KY.

My, how the mighty had fallen since their salad days of the summer of 2020 when they raised Hell here in Portland, beating up anyone they identified as “Antifa” and/or dared to stand in their way. They were pretty full of themselves then, especially since The Former Guy wholeheartedly endorsed their tactics. He even sent federal law enforcement goons into downtown Portland to ratchet up the violence and unofficially support the Proud Boys. So yeah, the feds and the Proud Boys busted some heads and enjoyed one kick-ass adrenaline rush.

Might makes Right, eh?

Then came January 6th, when the Proud Boys were so obviously involved in the planning and execution of the assault on the US Capitol. Several of their rank-and-file and top leadership have been tried and convicted for their role in the insurrection. As a result, the Proud Boys are desperately trying to exert themselves in hopes of remaining relevant.

If their march in DC is any indication, they currently lack the leadership, the organization, the conviction, and, most importantly, the courage to assert themselves in any meaningful manner. The fact that the marchers wore masks to avoid being identified shows cowardice and lack of conviction.

Also, that they can be laid low by a lone heckler on a rent-a-bike armed only with a wicked sense of humor should be taken to indicate just how weak and pathetic the Proud Boys have become. Sure, they can march and pontificate- and they certainly have the right to do that- but that makes them no different than any other group.

Three years ago, they were seen as a legitimate threat to public safety. Now they’re barely a threat to themselves, and their marches look more like hokey fraternity initiations than White supremacist rallies.

The guy sighed and looked at me, and I thought, “I got you!” I got in your head! Now get out of my town!

• Joe Flood

I suspect the Proud Boys assumed that, as in the past, they’d march onto the National Mall, and people would be intimidated into giving them a wide berth. After all, they used to project malevolence, the threat of impending violence, and the eagerness to beat up those who dared to look at them the wrong way.

Now, though, they look like an off-key White supremacist marching band. One half expects them to be the halftime entertainment at a Liberty University football game. They no longer create fear in those they encounter because many who were the most aggressive and violent are now behind bars. Those who remain seem somewhat lost. They speak the words. They recite the chants. They wear Fred Perry polos and tan khakis and look like Rush Week rejects from second-rate Ivy League fraternities.

But do they still believe? I mean, REALLY believe? Nah, they’re wearing Walmart khakis. No serious neo-Nazi wears Walmart khakis.

Three summers ago in Portland, Joe Flood would’ve been pummeled and likely beaten to within an inch of his life. Now he can stand next to a bicycle cop and lob humorous insults at the Proud Boys as if they’re little more than a White supremacist glee club in DC for their annual convention. Because that’s what the group seems to have devolved into- a relatively benign kaffeeklatch.

The Proud Boys are barely a threat to themselves these days, much less anyone else. They’d have the gallantry to march sans face coverings if they were truly serious and loaded for bear. That they lack the cojones to show their faces tells me they lack the courage of their (alleged) convictions.

And so Joe Flood is my new hero, an Everyman who decided that the time had come to do his part in the fight against White supremacy and Christian Nationalism. His self-ascribed mission called for him to lob humorous insults to get in the heads of the assembled Proud Boys, and it was executed brilliantly.

Flood appeared uniquely suited to his mission, carrying out his mission with humor, enthusiasm, and élan. And he had me almost rolling on the floor. I know he won’t be eligible for an Emmy or an Academy Award, but damnit, he should be.

Well done, good sir. Your country is proud of you.