NyQuil Chicken- It's What's For Dinner
And it pairs wonderfully with Uncle Benadryl's One-Minute Rice
I’ve always thought there are things in life that are (or should be) self-evident and shouldn’t require government agencies to issue warnings. Instead, they should be the sort of common-sense things that people don’t do because…well, because they’re common-sense. No one should have to tell you not to do them.
I’m talking about things like
Never playing Russian Roulette with six full chambers
If you’re taking sleeping pills, more isn’t always better
Never entering a vodka drinking contest with a Russian
Driving in the left lane in London but in the right lane in New York
Never get into a bar fight with Conor McGregor
Those are all things that most of us know and accept, perhaps because we’ve made one of those mistakes (hopefully not playing Russian Roulette) and learned from it.
Now, though, there’s a new caution from the FDA that seems so obvious that perhaps it should go without mention so we could leave it up to natural selection:
Holy $#!&balls o’ fire!! Yes, America; we’re being warned not to cook chicken in…wait for it…NyQuil. WTF has happened to us? First, we elect Donald F*****g Trump. Then the people who voted for him fall down the rabbit hole of some batshit conspiracy theory called QAnon. The next thing we know, people are marinating chicken in NyQuil.
Is this how humanity ends? In a sleep-inducing haze of acetaminophen, dextromethorphan, doxylamine…and chicken??
Has humanity reached the point where cooking poultry in a marinade of over-the-counter cold medicine seems like a good idea? Does the mere fact that it popped up on TikTok give this trend an air of credibility it might otherwise lack?
Does no one on TikTok have the sense to look at this and think, “Hey, you know…cooking chicken in NyQuil might be somewhat problematic. Perhaps we should ask a chemist or a cook or somehow who might actually know something?”
We aren’t going to make it, are we??
The FDA has a warning for the TikTok generation: Don’t use bright-blue, over-the-counter medications as marinade even if social media challenges you to do so.
Case in point: The NyQuil chicken or “Sleepy Chicken” challenge that appears to have circulated starting in January of this year.
The narrator of one slightly discombobulated video noted, according to Forbes, that when pan-cooking the concoction, “Sometimes the steam really makes you sleepy.”
Really? You don’t say.
“These video challenges, which often target youths, can harm people — and even cause death,” the U.S. Food and Drug Administration said in a recent warning.
In the case of NyQuil chicken, users were encouraged to whip up the dish, presumably for human consumption, using the name-brand medication or other similar over-the-counter cough and cold medicines.
Yeah, sometimes the steam makes you really…um, stupid.
So, if a TikTok challenge called for kids to jump off freeway overpasses onto passing semi-trailers, d’ya think there would be kids doing it? Hell, yes, there would be kids doing- and dying from it, because that’s what kids do on social media today. Monkey see, monkey do.
Ho-lee-schitt. And I thought I’d done some stupid stuff in my day.
[T]he process of cooking this type of medicine-laced concoction, even if only to generate a funny video, can be dangerous, according to the FDA.
“Boiling a medication can make it much more concentrated and change its properties in other ways,” the agency said. “Even if you don’t eat the chicken, inhaling the medication’s vapors while cooking could cause high levels of the drugs to enter your body. It could also hurt your lungs.
Better living through chemistry, eh? Or not.
Of course, as has been true throughout history, many teenagers are actively involved in trying to find various and assorted ways to destroy themselves (this explains extreme sports). However, they don’t all set out to deliberately do that, and most teens manage to survive to adulthood. That survival is often despite their best efforts, but it’s what teens- especially boys- do.
When the “NyQuil Chicken” fad blows over, something else will come along. Who knows; maybe someone will try to deep-fry a hand grenade or marinate a porterhouse in nitroglycerin.
How would you like your steak, sir? Medium rare or detonated?
Why do I fear for the future of our stupid republic as much as I do? It’s mindless crap like this that has me fearing for what’s yet to come.
Good Lord, y’all; we can send men to the moon and spacecraft far beyond that. We can cure many diseases and some cancers. We have cell phones that contain thm total of virtually all human knowledge in our hands.
And yet we have dumbasses marinating chicken in NyQuil. Where did it all go so wrong?
The good news, if there’s any to be had, is that TikTok appears to be at least trying to hold back the tide of abject stupidity that plagues so many of its users:
TikTok, incidentally, now directs people who search “NyQuil chicken” to a page talking about how to assess any social-media challenge they might come across.
They might as well call it the “Captain Obvious” page because they’re telling their users what they should already have the brain cells to be able to figure out for themselves:
At TikTok, we work to help everyone in our community make informed decisions about how they interact with online challenges. Learn how to assess challenges and warnings through the 4-step process (Stop, Think, Decide, and Act)…. You can also find support on our online challenges page.
Or you could learn how to assess challenges and warnings through the 1-step process (Don’t be a dumbass and use the common sense that you were born with).
This shouldn’t be that hard. Anyone with half a brain should understand that chicken and over-the-counter cold medicine don’t mix. And yet….
Don’t you see? This is how Donald Trump got elected how QAnon become bigger than Jesus. I wonder how many of the folks tailgating before Trump rallies are marinating their chicken in NyQuil? I’d wager vast numbers are doing so…and it shows.
Wir sind SEHR gefickt.