On the Internet, no one knows you're a dog...but they'll know you're a hypocrite

Dolt 45 learns that, on the Internet, your words never go away. Occasionally, they can even come back to haunt you.

I realize this will surprise precisely no one, but Count von Shitzenpantz says a lot of shockingly stupid things. He may believe himself to be among the world’s greatest extemporaneous orators, but his tendency to give voice to his inner moron gets him into a lot of trouble. If not immediately, sometimes his ill-considered words can come back to haunt him years later.

And so it was years after he denounced former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton for her alleged crimes, saying that she had “no right to be running.” Eight years later, after being convicted of 34 ACTUAL crimes, one has to wonder who has the right to be running for President.

If he were to hold himself to his own standard—which he never would—he’d be disqualified and step aside. Of course, il Trumpo is far too prideful to do that, even though it would be the right thing given the circumstances. If he can demand that Sec. Clinton not be allowed to run for President because of her alleged crimes, then the crimes he’s been convicted of should ipso facto disqualify him, yes?

Thom Hartmann

has had a lot to say about Trump’s hypocrisy in this regard, though it’s just one slice of a big ol’ hypocrisy pie.

If anyone were to ask Dolt 45 about this glaring contradiction, he’d find a way to rationalize it or turn it back on the questioner. That’s if he remembers what he said about Sec. Clinton in 2016.

At a Reno, Nevada campaign rally in 2016, Donald Trump said of Hillary Clinton, “We could very well have a sitting president under felony indictment and ultimately a criminal trial. It would grind government to a halt.” He elaborated at a campaign rally in Concord, North Carolina, saying: “If she were to win, it would create an unprecedented Constitutional crisis that would cripple the operations of our government. She is likely to be under investigation for many years, and also it will probably end up — in my opinion — in a criminal trial. I mean, you take a look. Who knows? But it certainly looks that way.” He added that, because she could become a felon, “She has no right to be running, you know. No right!” Now Trump has been twice found by juries of his peers to have raped a woman, was convicted of fraud with his phony university, busted for running a fake charity and stealing money intended for kids with cancer, and his company was convicted of tax and insurance fraud. With more to come, should the six corrupt Republicans on the Supreme Court and Florida’s Aileen Cannon ever let his cases proceed? Karma, as the old saying goes, can be a bitch…

- Thom Hartmann

What’s impressive about this entire immoral, hypocritical, and illegal mess is that as dense and intellectually inelastic as Lord Stumblefuck is, his one gift is creating chaos. Whether it’s delaying legal cases he’s been charged in or fucking around with other adversarial processes, he strews chaos everywhere like a foul slime trail.

He’s somehow managed to delay all the trials he’s facing until after the election. All of them, that is, except the New York case in which he was just handed 34 convictions.

It’s all I can do to channel my inner Mark Slackmeyer properly:

GUILTY!!
GUILTY!!
GUILTY!!

The man who inspired crowds to scream “LOCK HER UP!!” (which he now denies) in 2016 might be about to discover that his karmic bank account is overdrawn.

Since the verdict, MAGA morons have proceeded to melt straight the fuck down, acting as if someone had stolen their prize binky. How could the jury convict on all 34 counts WHEN THERE WAS NO CRIME??

Gee, were these geniuses looking at the evidence as the jury did? Did they scrutinize the paperwork and testimony of witnesses as 12 of Donald Trump’s peers did? Of course, they didn’t. They had no idea what the evidence was. In most cases, they didn’t even know the charges against Count von Shitzenpantz.

But they KNEW he was innocent. They could feel it.

Then the jury returned its verdict—34 “guilty” verdicts after less than 10 hours of deliberation—so you’d have to think there wasn’t much conflict among the 12 jurors.

Trump’s supporters at the courthouse, on Capitol Hill, and online went into full meltdown mode immediately, as if someone had stolen their prized binkies straight out of their mouths.

Where does such formidable anger come from? And what good is it doing anyone? I can’t even imagine living with that sort of rage, yet for these folks—mostly White Conservative Christian Cisgender Heterosexual males— it seems to be their default state of mind.

Man, the base blood pressure must be through the roof.

I suppose it’s one thing if you choose to live in such a state of perpetual rage, but to do it in support of a troglodyte like Donald Trump? Seriously? How pathetic must one be to live like that? Or do you think that continuing to support Trump is anything close to being a good idea?

As a (thankfully) very calm and rational

Heather Cox Richardson

observes,

Since the verdict, Trump and his supporters have worked very hard to spin the conviction as a good thing for his campaign, but those arguments sound like a desperate attempt to shape a narrative that is spinning out of their control. Newspapers all over the country bore the word “GUILTY” in their headlines today.

At stake for Trump is the Republican presidential nomination. Getting it would pave his way to the presidency, which offers him financial gain and the ability to short-circuit the federal prosecutions that observers say are even tighter cases than the state case in which a jury quickly and unanimously found him guilty yesterday. Not getting it leaves Trump and the MAGA supporters who helped him try to steal the 2020 presidential election at the mercy of the American justice system. 

Steal a Presidential election? It’s not like Trump and his supporters haven’t tried that one before, but January 6, 2021, may have merely been a dry run for what comes next. And the shenanigans he engaged in following his conviction may only foreshadow the darkness yet to come.

Trump went to the cameras and tried to establish that the nomination remains his, asserting that voters would vindicate him on November 5. But this morning, as he followed up last night’s comments, he did himself no favors. He billed the event as a “press conference,” but delivered what Michael Grynbaum of the New York Times described as “a rambling and misleading speech,” so full of grievance and unhinged that the networks except the Fox News Channel cut away from it as he attacked trial witnesses, called Judge Merchan “the devil,” and falsely accused President Joe Biden of pushing his prosecution. He took no questions from the press.

…..[T]he Trump campaign told reporters it raised $34.8 million from small-dollar donors in the hours after the guilty verdict, but observers pointed out there was no reason to believe those numbers based on statements from Trump’s campaign. Meanwhile, Trump advisor Stephen Miller shouted on the Fox News Channel that every Republican secretary of state, state attorney general, donor, member of Congress must use their power “RIGHT NOW” to “beat these Communists!” 

The attempt of MAGA lawmakers to shape events in their favor seemed just as panicked. Representative Jim Banks (R-IN) posted on social media that “New York is a liberal sh*t hole,” and Jim Jordan (R-OH) today asked Manhattan district attorney Alvin Bragg, who brought the case against Trump, to testify before the House Judiciary’s Select Subcommittee on the Weaponization of the Federal Government. about “politically motivated prosecutions of…President Donald Trump.” Representative Dan Goldman (D-NY) noted that Trump is a private citizen and Congress has no jurisdiction over the case, but that Jordan is using his congressional authority illegally to defend Trump. 

I am shocked—SHOCKED—that Gym Jordan would engage in grandstanding or shenanigans to illegally defend Count von Shitzenpantz. Surely, no “Law and Order” party member would do that.

Would they?

Yes, they sure as Hell would—and it could be far worse the second time.

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