On the role of idiocy in American life, Part Troix
America has precisely the quality of leadership it deserves- A primer on why Republicans are killing this country
God judges men from the inside out; men judge men from the outside in. Perhaps to God, an extreme mental patient is doing quite well in going a month without murder, for he fought his chemical imbalance and succeeded; oppositely, perhaps the healthy, able and stable man who has never murdered in his life yet went a lifetime consciously, willingly never loving anyone but himself may then be subject to harsher judgment than the extreme mental patient. It might be so that God will stand for the weak and question the strong.
Criss Jami, Healology
For reasons I still don’t fully understand, Republicans on Capitol Hill are a uniquely insecure lot. The Republican Caucus in the House and Senate is a disturbing collection of psychological profiles that trend toward bullies and thugs, even as they’re light on the intellectual and contemplative side of things.
The usual modus operandi for Republicanus Americanus is to engage in bluster, threats, and name-calling when they feel their authority and superiority are questioned. Having been elected to one of the highest and most powerful bodies in the land makes the already insecure want to spread their wings, kick ass, and take names.
How dare you question my authority and power??
There are, of course, several different sub-species of this annoying breed:
Shoutius Maximus: Some, like Reps. Jim Jordan or Marjorie Trailer Greene are prone to making loud, headache-inducing, screeching noises. To them, there’s nothing worse than being ignored, so they will raise their voices, beat their chests, and bleat about things they know nothing about to gain attention. Known for their low intelligence, they are often difficult to avoid, much less ignore. Their worst displays of anti-intellectualism are their lack of self-awareness and their predilection for writing books.
Shootius Ignoramus: This particularly annoying sub-species (Reps. Lauren Boebert, Chip Roy) is addicted to guns and proud of their ability to ignore massacres of large numbers of innocents because firearms are their penis substitutes. Bloodshed doesn’t bother them because it’s no one they know or care about.
Microscopicus Weenus: This large-in-number sub-species is renowned for using committee and sub-committee hearings to belittle witnesses with whom they disagree. Through cheap personal insults and leading questions, the Microscopicus Weenus badgers, belittles, and derides witness they disrespect or differ with.
Corruptus Interruptus: This sub-species (Rep. George Santos) can generally be found attempting to lie and prevaricate its way out of new and ever more embarrassing predicaments. Unable to keep track of its lies, Corruptus Interruptus must keep lying in the hope that the press won’t be able to keep up and will eventually stop trying out of sheer exhaustion.
Jesus Freakus: This sub-species could’ve been mostly ignored…at least until one became Speaker of the House. Now the second in line to the Presidency is a Christian wackjob who believes The Handmaid’s Tale is less a novel than a manual for the Second Coming of Donald Trump. He’s on the board of a group that believe mpox (what used to be called monkeypox) is an appropriate punishment for homosexuality. And his anti-masturbation “accountability partner” is his 18-year-old son. I wish I was kidding.
Assholeus Gigantus: Cursed with a massively overinflated ego (Rep. Kevin McCarthy), this sub-species can’t be trusted with anything more important than a weather forecast. Known for its proclivity for making and breaking promises almost in the same breath, Assholeus Gigantus has no natural allies and a plethora of natural predators who dog its every thought, word, and deed.
Fakeus Makeus: This sub-species has been around as long as the Republic. Believing itself born to lead (Sen. Tim Scott, Rep. Matt Gaetz), it will campaign to be the leader of the pack even when it’s abundantly clear that no one in the pack gives a damn. Self-delusion is strong in this sub-species, and its belief in its popularity, capability, and leadership qualities often far outstrip reality. Its existence benefits only consultants and advertising agencies.
Microphallus Jackassus: This most recently discovered sub-species (Sen. Markwayne Mullin) is known to possess an overabundance of testosterone and a minimum of maturity. Prone to want to settle disputes pugilistically, this sub-species is quick to anger, far less quick to think, possesses an over-inflated opinion of itself, and is an embarrassment to its flock. In most cases, its quick-to-flare temper is compensation for shortcomings in the shorts, as it were. The female of the species find him to be an embarrassment in the breeding department.
Of course, the most obvious problem for Republicanus Americanus is two-fold:
Their collective give-a-shit is broken. It’s been hors de combat for so long now that no one has any idea how to fix it. Those among their eminence grise they might once have listened to- Bob Dole, John McCain, etc.- have all died off and are no longer offering advice (that would’ve been ignored anyway). Now the Freedumb Caucus has convinced themselves that they’re God’s gifts to Republicans AND America, and no one can tell them how to do a g*****n thing. Thus, the GOP continues to circle the drain.
They’ve convinced themselves that the way to success is by demagoguing issues against the will of 75% of Americans (abortion). When that inevitably fails, the SURE-FIRE, guaran-damn-teed path to success is to become even MORE extreme. Hello, Gideon!!
Maybe Sen. Mullin was onto something. If you can’t beat ‘em, BEAT ‘em up.
Meanwhile, Cult45 is doing its thing and is off and running on what appears to be a ritual suicide pact devoted to Mango Mussolini, the autocrat they’ve deified for God-knows-WHAT reasons.
No one seems to notice, understand, or care that there’s every chance their orange hero may be wearing an orange prison jumpsuit come Indecision 2024. There’s never been anyone elected to the Presidency while serving time in a federal or state prison, so there’s no precedent to tell us what might happen.
Congressional Republicans, as might be imagined, are being no help whatsoever. House Speaker Mike Johnson (R-LA), having bathed in the Kool-Aid, has enthusiastically endorsed Donald Trump because, when all is said and done, WHAT THIS COUNTRY NEEDS IS A FELON-IN-CHIEF!!
Of course, we could blame it on the American Taliban, and that wouldn’t be at all inaccurate since Speaker Johnson is one of the Chief Mullahs, but it would also be overly simplistic.
If you think she’s kidding, what has the Republican-controlled Congress done with their majority? Go ahead; I’ll wait…because Rep. Chip Roy (R-TX) was on the floor of the House asking the same question this week and wondering what he’s going to run on next year.
They haven’t done a whole helluva to make things any better, have they?
As any REAL American knows, Jesus Christ is a registered Republican who gets to vote in every state. Because He’s the Son of God, that’s not voter fraud; He can vote as often as He deems appopriate…especially since He’s voting Republican, don’tchaknow?
It’s no wonder the approval rating for Congress tends to hover in the single digits, on par with things like social diseases, cancer, and the Green Bay Packers.
Then again, when American begin bellyaching about the reality that Republicans in Congress (and Congress in general) are accomplishing about as much as your average herd of cats, they should keep one thing in mind.
Y’ALL VOTED THESE ASSHATS INTO OFFICE.
Yes, Americans can bitch and moan about Congress all they want. When you strip away the artifice and the performative bullshit, the fact of the matter is that Congress is what it is because the American Sheeple sent them to Washington.
America has precisely the quality of leadership it deserves.
The American Sheeple could have a competent, professional, and efficient Congress. Instead, they voted to fill a clown car with yet more clowns. So, when you elect clowns to Congress, you can’t claim to be surprised when you end up with a circus on Capitol Hill.
Who’s going to walk behind the elephants and clean up their mess?
Once upon a time, I took a tour of the Capitol. I remember standing in the gallery of an empty House chamber, thinking of all the great men and women who’d stood on the floor below me. I reflect on the great and terrible moments in our nation’s history when decisions taken on that floor sent America in a direction that led us to where we our today.
I never for a moment envisioned a three-ring circus and the sounds of a calliope and a carnival barker. Perhaps I should have.
There was a time when men and women of great intellect and gravitas roamed the halls of Congress; now the clown car overfloweth…and that seems unlikely to change any time soon.
The idiots are running the asylum.
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