On the role of idiocy in American life, Part Deux
Stupidity isn't a bug; it's a feature
Never underestimate human stupidity.
Pittacus Lore, The Fallen Legacies
I have defined the hundred per cent American as ninety-nine per cent an idiot.
George Bernard Shaw
Say what you will about the Trump years, but I can state with no irony or fear of overstatement that they’ve raised the level of stupidity and abject craziness to levels previously thought impossible to obtain.
Yes, America…we evidently live in a barrel with no bottom. Who knew??
January 6th, f’rinstance, provided a cast of characters who, while guilty of committing felonies, should be rewarded for their entertainment and comedic chops. Well, except for the fact that some of them are guilty of murder. That drapes a wet blanket over any insurrection's entertainment and comedy value.
Of course, you could say the same thing about almost any Trump rally, but most of those have an oversupply of stupidity and toxic masculinity. And by “stupidity,” I don’t mean your everyday, run-of-the-mill, brain-dead, lack-of-knowledge ignorance. No, I’m referring to those who think God Almighty has ordained Donald Trump to lead America into a righteous, godly future.
Yeah, THAT brand of stupidity. It can be genuinely terrifying. I try not to think about it too much ‘cuz it hurts my brain.
Once upon a time, we used to be able to delude ourselves into thinking that our elected representatives knew how to do their jobs. Since 2016, though, that’s no longer an assumption that can be safely made.
Take Rep. Lauren Boebert (R-CO) (please!!)…who, when confronted on her bill by Rep. Steny Hoyer (D-MD), barely knew what was in it, much less how it was funded. Christ, y’all…how did Rep. Boebert even pass her GED???
This is some weapons-grade stupidity.
The Congresswoman from Possum Holler, CO, has the IQ of an armadillo AFTER it’s been flattened by an F-150. Just listening to her can put one’s brain cells at significant risk. She should come with a warning label.
Of course, if you’re a Trump supporter, you know precisely where the whole “America is a laughingstock” thing started, right? It was the Black guy…you remember him, don’tcha? Barack HUSSEIN Obama, that Kenyan-born Muslim terrorist who hated America because he spent all those years studying in radical Islamic madrassas.
And then there’s this, courtesy of Ben Cohen, who’s one of the saner voices in the punditsphere these days. His point is pretty straightforward…well, see for yourself:
His point is well-taken. It’s November 2023, not November 2024. It’s way too early for anything resembling panic. So, is Joe Biden “in trouble?” Is the sky falling? Is it all over but for the inevitable coronation of Donald Trump and the “American Carnage” and bloodshed sure to follow?
Pfffftttt….
Come on, y’all. We should be better than this. What is it about Democrats that leads us to panic instantly when the first polls don’t go our way? Did anyone look at the poll’s methodology? Or who put it out? Does the pollster have a historical right-leaning bias? You know that happens, right?
Anyway, Cohen makes a couple of points worth paying attention to:
A couple of points worth noting here. First, polls this far out from an election are entirely useless. It’s a snap shot of public opinion when most people aren’t paying attention to Presidential politics. Polls might even be entirely useless right up to the day of voting given 2020 saw enormous predictive errors. I’m not saying the Biden team shouldn’t be concerned about some of these trends, but we really do need to get some perspective on this.
Second, I would just like to voice my frustration with the “young people.” I’m sorry, but isn’t pulling the US out of a major pandemic, reviving the economy, creating millions of jobs, expanding health coverage to millions of people, bringing NATO back from the dead, unifying the Western world in opposition to Russian imperialism, and stopping a madman destroying democracy at home enough? What more does Biden have to do?
The moral of the story? How about we not contribute to the idiocy? There’s plenty of that for Republicans to discharge into the ether without Democrats doing their part to ratchet up the crazy, knowhutimean?
OK, so I’ll get off my soapbox now, ‘cuz I’ve got some more idiocy to pass along:
Of Course, The QAnon Shaman Is Running For Office. Why Wouldn't He Be? Hey, a guy’s gotta make a living. And since there’s not much of a market for QAnon shamans in America these days, the only place with a need for Jacob Chansley’s services is- you guessed it!- Congress.
When you consider that he’d potentially be joining brain-dead idjits like Marjorie Trailer Greene, Lauren Boebert, Paul Gosar, and Matt Gaetz (not a functional IQ between them), Chansley would undoubtedly fit right in.
Jacob Angeli-Chansley, better known as the QAnon Shaman (though he prefers to be called America’s Shaman, thank you very much), filed paperwork with the Arizona Secretary of State's Office on Thursday announcing his intent to run as a Libertarian (natch) in Arizona’s 8th Congressional District.
Chansley was released into a halfway house this past March after serving 27 months of his 41-month sentence for his part in the January 6 insurrection, and has since been very vocal about the fact that all of his contrition over his actions that day were total bullshit, especially the part where his lawyer made him blame Trump for what he did.
He now claims that, actually, the January 6 insurrection he was literally filmed participating in, shirtless and wearing a large fur hat with horns, was a psyop by the FBI to make Trump and his supporters look bad. Don’t think about that one too hard, because it will get you nowhere.
Aaaaaand we’re back to the stupid….
So Chansley has been vocal about lying about his contrition…and his ass WASN’T thrown back into prison? How is that even possible?
I’ll try not to think about that because I’m already getting a headache thinking about a blithering idiot whose 15 minutes should’ve long since come and gone.
Chansley might have a shot, though. He’s running against a crowded field and who knows what will happen when stupid people vote for stupid people.
Rep. Debbie Lesko, who currently represents reliably Republican district, has said she will not be seeking reelection, and Chansley is just one of a number of very exciting candidates vying for the seat — including haunted Victorian doll Blake Masters, Trent “The Female Body Has Ways To Shut That Whole Thing Down” Franks — who resigned in disgrace from that very seat in 2017 following a sexual harassment scandal involving his inability to stop talking about his and his wife’s surrogacy plans, Chansley’s fellow January 6 participant Sen. Anthony Kern of Glendale, along with Seth Coates, Isiah Gallegos, Jimmy Rodriguez, Rollie Stevens, and Brandon Urness.
And then there’s my personal favorite, who’s (not in any sense) destined for the Country Music Hall of Fame with his song, “Beer-Drinking Women.”
Candidate Rollie Stevens, I very desperately need to point out, is a country and western singer who has promised to perform a full concert with every speech he gives. Rudely, dude does not have a single “music video” available for me to watch on YouTube, but he does have a few that are just his songs.
I can only hope his politics are more palatable than his song because I could only make it through the first minute. I LOVE country music, but “Beer-Drinking Women” sounds like every country song you’ve ever heard…and the reason why people hate country music.
But this is Arizona we’re talking about, so where there’s Blake Masters, there’s a very high potential for some serious weirdness. Snake handlers, perhaps? It’s still early, so let’s wait and see what “talent” rises to the surface, shall we??
Before we go, allow me to offer this late-breaking news:
Robbing Peter To Pay Paul From OnlyFans: The George Santos House Ethics Committee Report. Yes, the traveling ethical, moral, and legal violation that is Sen. George Santos (R-NY) is about to grind to a halt. And it turns out that “George Santos” isn’t the Congressman’s real name; it’s Eppie Lederer.
Yes, “George Santos” is the reincarnation of Ann Landers, y’all, and I suspect the original Ms. Lederer is spinning in her grave at approximately 75 RPM.
George Santos, the Republican congressman with the integrity, isn’t leaving Congress today. At least, he isn’t planning to. We guess it’s possible he could look at Markwayne Mullin funny and Markwayne could buck out his teeth like a rabid chipmunk and flare his nostrils and the rage would take over and Markwayne would chase George out of the Capitol and they’d have the “Family Guy” chicken fight through the whole town.
But once the House Ethics Committee released its long-awaited report on Santos’s ethics this morning, he quickly announced he would not be seeking re-election.
Before we get into any of the details, Santos wrote a one-million-word screed on Twitter in response, which begins, “If there was a single ounce of ETHICS in the ‘Ethics committee’, they would have not released this biased report.” It goes on to say just kidding we don’t know what it says we didn’t read it.
He spent campaign funds on OnlyFans.
That’s hardly the worst thing in the report, but it ain’t softly the worst thing either, if you know what we mean and we think you do, #bonerjoke.
He also spent campaign funds on Hermès. And Sephora. And Botox.
Unsurprisingly, the only honest thing Rep. Santos has said since taking office earlier this year was…wait, what was that? Um, it turns out that NOTHING he’s said or done has had a shred of honesty or integrity. It was all one big grift.
Shocking, eh?
No, not really.
What was shocking/not shocking was the summary of the Ethics Committee’s report:
Representative Santos sought to fraudulently exploit every aspect of his House candidacy for his own personal financial profit.
He blatantly stole from his campaign.
He deceived donors into providing what they thought were contributions to his campaign but were in fact payments for his personal benefit.
Yes, serial fabulist George Santos is the cherry on top of the idiocy sundae that is the Republican Party’s inability to police itself.
Finally, Ms. Lederer will get her karma martini.
Republicans in Congress, it appears, will finally begin the process of expelling Santos from Congress, if only because they can no longer avoid the inevitable. Santos has been revealed to be so thoroughly and utterly corrupt that not even the GOP can invent a rationale for protecting him.
Here’s what I want to know- when Santos is finally and inevitably expelled and Republicans drum him off the House floor, will Speaker Mike Johnson forcibly remove Santos’ Hermés scarf?
And will it FINALLY be morning in America??
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