People Am Stupid...And Mean
Why can't we be nice to someone who's had a rough day?
I don’t know this person, but I’ve followed her on Instagram for a while, and even though I’ve been banned from posting on Twitter, I see her tweets now and again. She seems nice enough, and, having been divorced, I feel for her. Divorce is a terrible, heart-wrenching experience under the best of circumstances. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone, and I should know; I’ve been divorced twice.
It sucks donkey balls.
Of course, if you announce your divorce on Twitter, there are one of two things that are likely to happen:
One, you’ll get responses from many people offering condolences, advice, and suggestions. It’s one of the remarkable things about social media; people coming together to support someone they’ve never met and almost certainly never will. That aspect of community is amazing and we could use more of it.
Two, and I can guaran-damn-tee this, especially if you’re female, the scum of the Internet will going to rise to the surface (or sink to the bottom, depending on your perspective). Many of them will send you direct messages with everything from marriage proposals to things unspeakably disgusting and unworthy of with being mentioned here.
Sometimes being attractive and female ain’t all it’s cracked up to be.
And she has more than 618,000 followers. Combine that with the fact that she’s a vocal and unapologetic leftist, and the math won’t be doing her any favors, will it?
Of course, some of the more conventionally dickish will send their tweets the old-fashioned way. It’s as if they must demonstrate to the world what uncaring assholes they can be.
And these are just a few of the ones that I found only moderately objectionable. I suspect she’ll be flooded with offers and suggestions that she do things that most of us would find disgusting and/or physically impossible at the very least.
And that’s my point. What it is about the misfortune of others that provides some knuckle-draggers with permission to pour salt in wounds? They never stop to think how they might feel if someone did the same to them, but they grant themselves carte blanche to trample on the feelings and sensibilities of someone they’ll never meet.
Why? Because they can. They hit ENTER, send their screed off into the void, and never consider the consequences of their words. They’ll never even think about the possibility that they may have caused someone real pain because “snowflakes” aren’t worth a second thought.
But what if that person was your mother? Your sister? Your daughter? What if you could witness the pain your words caused? Would you behave differently? Would you choose your words more carefully? Would you decide not to be an asshole?
Do you hide behind your keyboard because you know you’ll never have to face your target, that there will never be any consequences for the words or accusations you toss their way? Does that make it easier because you’d never have the courage to say those words to your target’s face?
If you’re typing something you’d never say to a person’s directly, can you stop and ask yourself why you’re doing it? Is it convenience? Or cowardice?
Perhaps Twitter is a mean-spirited and uncivil place because too many people spew their bile onto their keyboard and hit ENTER before thinking about what they’re doing and- most importantly- WHY they’re doing it. Of course, it’s easy to be mean, insulting, or question someone’s intelligence or right to exist…but why is it necessary to do that? What does it accomplish? What problem(s) does it solve?
Perhaps if we focused on lowering the temperature a bit, social media might become less of a cesspool. And wouldn’t it be nice if we could communicate like human beings instead of raging at one another like wild animals?
What a radical concept, eh?
The anonymizing effect of text and internet gives people who do not think at all permission to unleash their true natures. I made a choice some time back to never hide behind a fake ID. It hasn't always helped me moderate my own demons, but at least when I'm being an asshole there's no question in anyone's mind who it is.
By the bye, turns out we've something else in common: I too have been banned from Twitter.