Performative Outrage 101- How To Be Convincingly Opposed To Something You Once Supported
Republican performative dipshittery at its finest...or worst, depending on your perspective
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If there were a master of stupidity in this world, I would really love to listen to his success story.
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Once upon a time, or so I like to delude myself, Republicans had principles they weren’t afraid to stand up for. They had a well-tuned sense of right and wrong, a well-balanced moral center, and the willingness to do the right things for the right reasons.
Then, somewhere around the mid-80s, the worms ate their brains and they became all about performative anger 24/7/365. Sometimes, Republicans lose sight of what they’re angry about…they just know they’re mad, and THEY WANT ANSWERS (and their pound of flesh) YESTERDAY!!
The latest example is just too precious to pass up. Self-righteous GOP goombahs spent what seemed like forever demanding that Attorney General Merrick Garland appoint David Weiss as the Special Counsel investing Hunter Biden. They wanted the testicles of the President’s son tanned and nailed to the wall in Kevin McCarthy’s office, and a Special Counsel would be just the ticket to making it happen.
So, Sens. Ted Cruz (R-TX), Marsha Blackburn (R-TN), Ron Johnson (R-WI), and a few others signed a letter requesting that Weiss be appointed as a Special Counsel to investigate Hunter Biden. No vitriol, no anger, just a simple, seemingly reasonable request, not even a demand.
Yeah, Blackburn’s and Johnson’s signatures were on the letter as well.
Because Weiss has been investigating the President’s son for, what, five years now? It’s become permanent employment for him.
Anyway, the simple request turned into entreaties which evolved into rather angry demands. Then, as if by magic, AG Garland last week appointed Weiss to be a Special Counsel investigating Hunter Biden, and Republicans were…furious??
Sen. Cruz: “this appointment is camouflage and it’s a coverup. I think it’s disgraceful.”
Sen. Blackburn: “I think everyone knows David Weiss is not a prosecutor, he's not a special counsel, he is a collaborator.”
Sen. Johnson: “Weiss is probably the least independent person that Merrick Garland could have appointed. Go figure.“
Wait…didn’t they…just 11 months ago?…and didn’t the Attorney General give them precisely what they wanted?
WTF??
Indeed. That there is some world-class performative dipshittery, don’tchathink? It’s not often you get the most hated Senator, a “semi-sentient bag of hair” (apologies to Jeff Tiedrich), and one of the Senators most responsible for January 6th on the same performative dipshittery page, eh?
Good Lord, these folks are so transparently stupid that it’s frightening. It’s like they’ve stopped camouflaging their lack of intellectual agility and now assume their Fox News-addicted supporters are even far more foolish than they are.
They have no ideas, no policy initiatives intended to make America better. It’s all about keeping the idjits back home angry and foaming at the mouth, which is why they eagerly appear on Fox News so much.
this is your modern-day Republican party. they have no ideas. they have no policies. all they have is spite, grudges — and rage. oh fucking boy, do they ever have rage.
whatever Joe Biden is for, they’re against it.
don’t ask why. it doesn’t matter why.
just keep the rubes angry.
The ONLY thing that matters to today’s GOP, the only unifying factor, is their undying, never-ending, white-hot hatred of President Joe Biden. Sure, as a person, they might think the President to be likable enough, but he’s a Democrat, which means that he must be hated with the fury of a thousand suns. No effort should be spared to embarrass him and to show America what a weak, ineffectual milquetoast he is.
Only when every American has been convinced that Joe Biden is a perverted, demented, and doddering old fool will the work of the GOP be even close to being done. Then he can be set adrift on an ice floe with a box of Captain America comic books and a gallon of Mint Chocolate Chip ice cream, and America will once again have the leadership it deserves. That’s right- a 77-year-old man-child who will Make America Great Again from a federal lockup.
And will we greet our new idiocracy with open arms and empty minds.
Praise God and pass the Diet Coke!!
The other thing that had Republican panties all bunched up this past weekend was that while Maui was dealing with the wildfires and their aftermath, President Biden was in the midst of spending a few days relaxing at a beach house. What Republicans didn’t mention was that the President had already released relief funds for the impacted area. And that FEMA was already on the ground, doing what FEMA does.
Today, President Joseph R. Biden, Jr. declared that a major disaster exists in the State of Hawaii and ordered Federal aid to supplement state and local recovery efforts in the areas affected by wildfires beginning on August 8, 2023, and continuing.
The President’s action makes Federal funding available to affected individuals in Maui County.
Assistance can include grants for temporary housing and home repairs, low-cost loans to cover uninsured property losses, and other programs to help individuals and business owners recover from the effects of the disaster.
Federal funding also is available to state and eligible local governments and certain private nonprofit organizations on a cost-sharing basis for debris removal and emergency protective measures in Maui County, and assistance for emergency protective measures for Hawaii County.
Lastly, Federal funding is also available on a cost-sharing basis for hazard mitigation measures statewide.
So, Republicans…what have you done besides engaging in a pointless shitload of performative outrage and dipshittery?
I’m going to guess nothing- because that’s usually their entire plan, regardless of the circumstances.
There’s some exemplary, compassionate leadership there, eh?
It’s OK, though…just stay angry. They’re probably on blood pressure medication, anyway.
just stay angry that Joe Biden took a couple of days off.
never mind that, during the early days of covid, Donald Trump told everyone that it was going to disappear “like magic” and then went golfing for six weeks while thousands of Americans sickened and died.
never mind that Ted Cruz hightailed it to Cancun while the people of Texas froze to death in the dark.
just think about Joe Biden spending the weekend at the beach — and stay mad.
Because performative outrage is the one thing Republicans truly excel at…and we all need to be known for something, right?
It’s just too bad the GOP can’t be known for doing something worthwhile and for being decent, compassionate human beings…and not for being such inveterate, hateful dumbasses.