Person. Woman. Man. Big Mac. Dumbass.
Who knew that exercise can kill you? Donald Trump says so.
It is only because of their stupidity that they are able to be so sure of themselves.
Franz Kafka
No reasonable person would ever accuse Donald Trump of being MENSA material. Trump would probably think MENSA is something you’d need a tampon for, which means he’d want no part of it. That’s good- because an organization like MENSA wouldn’t want any part of Orange Jesus.
I’m sure my readers have heard a thousand and one stories about the former President’s lack of mental acuity and agility. To call Mango Mussolini stupid would be an insult to people who are, through no fault of their own, legitimately stupid. But, no, Donald Trump is almost certainly the first remedial learning President to disgrace the White House with his lack of intellect, arrogance, and self-awareness. He spent four years as the poster boy for the Dunning-Kruger Effect like no other Chief Executive before him.
It’s not stretching the bounds of credulity to call Trump the stupidest biped to have ever dragged their knuckles through the White House. There are primates in the Washington Zoo who’d probably run circles around him on any conventional IQ test.
Many things come to mind when one has the misfortune to think of Donald Trump. Bigot. Creep. Guy who used a speech at the Boy Scouts of America’s quadrennial Jamboree to brag about all the fabulous parties he went to in the ’80s. One thing we can say with full confidence that has never once been thought of is “mentally sound.” And yet, the ex-president apparently believes that what will set him apart from other 2024 candidates is his brain—and the level at which it functions. Oh, and his body too!
Let’s face it; Donald Trump is a specimen, all right. Though I might be tempted to compare him to the specimen I’d have to go into the men’s room to produce and then hand over in a bottle to a nurse.
Unfortunately, he lacks the self-awareness to recognize how phenomenally intellectually defective he is. Somehow, he avoided stumbling and fumbling America into a nuclear war with Russia. We’ll probably never know how it happened, but we should be eternally grateful to the staffer who kept the nuclear football from him.
On Tuesday, the former guy took to Truth Social to declare: “ANYBODY running for the Office of President of the United States should agree to take a full & complete Mental Competency Test simultaneously (or before!) with the announcement that he or she is running, & likewise, but to a somewhat lesser extent, agree to a test which would prove that you are physically capable of doing the job. Being an outstanding President requires great mental acuity & physical stamina. If you don’t have these qualities or traits, it is likely you won’t succeed. MAGA!”
Ah, the epic irony of legendary stupidity. Orange Jesus fails to understand the implications of what he’s demanding. This from a man who rejects exercise because he believes it can cause premature death.
I wish I could say I was kidding.
And let’s not even get into the silliness surrounding his elucidating on his mental fitness after proving he can memorize and regurgitate five simple words.
Mon Dieu!! The man has the (addled) brain of someone…in his mid-70s?
There are not enough hours in the day to list the many examples of Trump not having it all together up top, but we’ll just note that he recently mistook a photo of his rape accuser for second ex-wife; famously claimed the sound from windmills causes cancer; and weirdly insisted, on multiple occasions, that his New York–born father was born in Germany. (Do we even need to mention that he suggested people inject bleach into their veins?) He also boasted, in 2020, that it was a major feat to have been able to recite five words in the correct order[.]
Good Lord, he must have been exhausted after his ordeal. Did he need to lie down afterward? Did the White House doctor have to give him a B12 injection? Did he require the services of several young pageant queens? Or perhaps a few virgins with baby oil and a box of Kleenex?
Trump might want to be careful about requiring that Presidential candidates over 75 pass a cognition test. He seems convinced that such a test would trip up Joe Biden, but I’m not sure he’d be capable of passing such a test.
When Donald Trump looks in the mirror, he probably sees a man of surpassing brilliance and virility. But, in reality, he’s a man who struggles to walk down a ramp and hasn’t read a book since…well, probably, forever.
Unless, of course, it had plenty of pictures.
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The gap between how Trump sees himself and his physical and mental reality is light-years apart. He believes himself to be a brilliant leader; in fact, he couldn’t lead a pack of hungry Cub Scouts to a Whataburger. He thinks he’s a hunka hunka burnin’ manhood, but he’s an obese myocardial infarction looking for a place to happen. He believes he knows more about everything than anyone, but, in truth, he knows less about anything than virtually everyone.
Meanwhile, Nikki Haley, Trump’s only GOP primary opponent so far, has also called compulsory competency tests for any elected officials over the age of 75, saying last week: “In the America I see, the permanent politician will finally retire. We’ll have term limits for Congress. And mandatory mental competency tests for politicians over 75 years old.”
Heh…Chuck Grassley’s going to LOVE that, eh?
Man. Woman. Cow. Corn cob. Uh…what was that last one, again??
As for Trump’s call for “a test which would prove that you are physically capable of doing the job,” that’s a drum he started beating last month when he claimed that winning a golf tournament—that he appears to have cheated in—proved he was fit to be president again. “The reason that I announce [supposedly having won the tournament] on fabulous TRUTH is that, in a very real way, it serves as a physical exam, only MUCH tougher,” he told his Truth Social followers. “You need strength and stamina to WIN, & I have strength & stamina - most others don’t. You also need strength & stamina to GOVERN!”
As a reminder, for the majority of his life, Trump has had diet that could give cardiologists recurring nightmares, with a soft spot for Big Macs, meat loaf, and KFC. (Former White House doctor Ronny Jackson once said White House staff had to sneak vegetables into his food.) Trump has also claimed that the human body has a finite amount of energy, which physical exertion can only deplete, which is why exercise is apparently bad. (“You are going to die young because of this,” he reportedly once told an employee training for an Ironman race.)
I seriously doubt that Trump has ever won a golf tournament- or anything else- that he hasn’t cheated in (and I include the 2016 Presidential election in that estimation). The only “strength and stamina” he’s ever enjoyed is in his imagination. Exercise is the bane of his existence, and I doubt he could walk up three flights of stairs without becoming seriously winded.
He’s lied to himself, those around him, and the American public for so long that I can’t imagine he’d recognize the truth if she showed up with a pair of kneepads and a tube of lipstick.
His 2016 ascension to the Presidency has proven that stupidity and mediocrity are no impediments to success in American politics. Indeed, they probably INCREASE the odds of winning because Americans have come to distrust education, competence, and expertise- things Trump lacks in spades.
Let’s face it, America. We got exactly the quality of leadership we deserved when Mango Mussolini was elected. Unfortunately, we saw what would happen when we stopped paying attention and elected an absolute moron. I keep hoping that we’ve learned our lesson…but I’m not so sure.
If it happened once, it could happen again. Perhaps not with Donnie Dumbass, but you get my point. The next time it might be a mediocre intellect but a first-class despot…and what then?
Democracies don’t grow on trees, you know. So you have to pay attention if you want to keep it.
And I think it’s time y’all began paying attention and thinking about what’s happening. Because the idiots are taking over, and if we’re not careful, they’ll run the show before you know what hit you.
By then, it will be too late. Then what??
Jabba the Trump needs a golf cart to wag his lard a$$ from bed to the potty. Joe enjoys the occasional gaffe, but crying out loud the man has spent his lifetime overcoming an extreme speech impediment. I'd like to see how many feet Donnie would get prior to collapsing just walking next to Biden (never mind trying to find a bicycle strong enough to carry all that mass while he tried to keep up with Joe pedaling.)
When people talk about intelligence types, being canny about stoking audience fears and base instincts is not usually part of the conversation. Don the Con excels in those abilities. He also is good at finding and leveraging weakness (values or insecurities) in an opponent.
Whatever his intellect may be measured at, his defining characteristics seem to be mental illness(narcissism, just ask around) rather than intellectual deficiencies. He exploits the deficiencies in his followers, aiming to appear "just like them" but with the promise of riches if you buy his book (It's his version of a bible which he touts as a road map to the appearance of a successful life.)
He exploits the "prosperity gospel" mythology that is a modern-day recasting of the feudal system: god rewards the virtuous with material wealth. If you are wealthy, it is because you were born virtuous. If you are poor, it is because you were born sinful. It's a fine line of rhetoric to keep his followers at the trough of promise while serving up a menu of disappointment. Blaming someone else for fouling the promised feast has worked for him so far.
His cleverness is in getting ahead of someone else pointing out his deficiencies, and pasting memorable labels of those deficiencies on someone else. He's a narcissistic (read: irretrievably abused child with a focus on self-defense) school-yard bully with a talent for labeling, and seeing points of leverage; Kind of a social/psychological geometry.
Nobody comes out better after being around a person like that.