Republican Inability to Govern 101

They're hamstrung by the attention whores, malcontents, and bomb-throwers in their midst

Government is like a baby. An alimentary canal with a big appetite at one end and no sense of responsibility at the other.

• Former President Ronald Reagan

Government is simply the name we give to the things we choose to do together.

• Former Rep. Barney Frank (D-MA)

Like a lot of Americans, I’ve been watching the clusterf**k in the House of Representatives over the past few days, and I’ve been struck by how little it can take to bring American governance to a halt. Unfortunately, a few idiots with an agenda that makes sense only to them, presented with an opportunity, have decided that their petty grievances outweigh the interests of an entire country.

WTactualF is going on here?

On the one side of the aisle, we have the GOP actively demonstrating that they can’t rule. The party that believes anything that doesn’t benefit billionaires is “SOCIALISM!!!” can’t even reign in their nutjobs long enough to elect a Speaker of the House.

So, America, remind me again why you elected Republicans into the majority- because they look WEAK, WEAK, WEAK.

Then, on the other side of the aisle are the Democrats bringing bags of popcorn to snack on during the shit show they’re being required to witness. It’s petty and small…and I’m here for it.

If I were a Democratic Congressperson, I’d bring a bag of popcorn and a 32-ounce Diet Coke Big Gulp onto the House floor. Then I’d prop my feet up as I ate my popcorn and tried to stay awake (and hopefully not spill my popcorn).

“On the verge?” Sorry, Sean; that ship has sailed. Even once the House GOP Caucus somehow manages to elect a speaker, they still have to prove they can conduct the People’s business. Their ability to do so (or not) remains an open question, but their performance during the selection of a Speaker hasn’t inspired confidence.

But let’s put aside the partisanship for a moment. After all, I think we all know which side of the fence I live on. Let’s consider which side is more likely to accomplish something tangible over the next two years. Democrats hold the White House and the Senate, while Republicans have an ever-so-slight majority in the House.

The math doesn’t fall in the GOP’s favor, so what do you think their strategy will be? They’re not going to be able to pass any of their preferred legislation, at least not without serious compromises being made to gain Democratic support.

This can go one of two ways, then. Republicans can look for ways to work with Democrats and compromise enough to ensure that some of their priorities become law. In doing so, however, they’ll have to accept the reality that they’ll need to give up their “compromise equals capitulation” stance, which has been their norm over the past few years.

Yeah, like that’s going to happen.

Or, they can continue to maintain their status quo, which means they block every Democratic initiative as they push their own, which will have no chance of success.

This strategy will ensure that NOTHING will happen over the coming two years. So while there are issues in desperate need of attention from Congress, they’ll get caught up in the partisan gridlock and “mine is bigger” mindset that tends to be the norm on Capitol Hill.

Most Republicans would burn Congress down before they’d acquiesce to anything redolent of compromise. Their “show-no-mercy-take-no-prisoners” attitude may play well on the campaign trail, but it doesn’t get any of the People’s business done.

I hope I’m wrong in my assessment, but I don’t think I am. If past is prologue, and in this case, I think it is, we’ve already seen what the House GOP Caucus has planned. They’re not primed to govern seriously; they’re hamstrung by the malcontents, attention whores, and the bomb-throwers in their midst. And whoever becomes Speaker will be seriously limited in his/her ability to enforce discipline among their flock by necessary concessions made to secure the votes needed to win.

MSNBC’s Chris Jansing described the clusterf**k as a “political drama.” If so, it’s one that’s been poorly written, and lacks a plot line, protagonist, or riveting resolution. Truthfully, it’s about as exciting as wandering down to the corner gas station to watch Uncle Bud restock the cigarette machine (Oh, look; here comes the Menthol!!).

And this process has shown that the influence of Orange Jesus has waned, if not expired altogether, like bad cottage cheese. Donald Trump sat out the first couple of votes, then endorsed Rep. Kevin McCarthy (R-CA). Most of the House GOP Caucus responded with a shrug and a “So what?” Then business continued as if nothing had changed, because for the bomb-throwers nothing had.

It might seem time to stick a fork in Mango Mussolini; he might be close to being done as a Republican Torquemada.

Most of the GOP Caucus doesn’t trust Kevin McCarthy-and given McCarthy’s self-serving behavior since the 2020 Presidential election, I can’t argue with them. (I know, right? Imagine me agreeing with Republicans. On ANYTHING.)

Perhaps it’s as simple as the difference in each party’s philosophy regarding government. Republicans look at government in far more cynical terms because their base is afraid The Other will get things they believe only they deserve. So, GOP policymaking is more about denying benefits or programs to those who aren’t White, Conservative, Christian, and heterosexual than creating them.

The flip side is that Democrats are far more about creating benefits and programs intended to provide people with a hand UP, not necessarily a handOUT. Democrats see their role as serving the American People and trying to find ways to make America a better and more equitable place to live, work, and raise a family.

Republicans have historically tended to believe that the function of government should be limited to defense, foreign policy, and economic policy. Then religious zealots and social conservatives took control of the GOP. It didn’t take long for the “Party of Small Government” to become the party that wanted to insert itself into a woman’s vagina. And everywhere else. The “Party of Small Government” became the party that wanted every personal freedom filtered through it. The GOP refused (or lacked the self-awareness) to recognize the fascist tendencies it was harboring.

And now Republicans are seeing karma come home to roost. And their internal strife is demonstrating all over again that while they make a serviceable opposition party, they can’t govern to save their lives.

America’s going to spend the next two years waiting for the adults to take over. What those who voted for Republicans don’t understand is that there are no longer any adults left in the GOP.

It was the late Tip O’Neill who once said that you get exactly the quality of leadership you deserve. Unsurprisingly, it turns out that the American Sheeple have some astonishly low standards.

While 20 immature children are holding Congress and the country hostage, we’d best hope that no crisis happens. Because right now there’s no legally constituted legislative body to provide advice and consent to the President.

The next time you hear Republicans criticizing President Biden, y’all should remember this sorry episode, a time when Republicans were willing to place their own petty interests over those of the country.