"Republicans eat their young, they really do"

Hey, what's for dessert?

this man is not an Israeli soldier. but you might be fooled into thinking he’s one, because he’s wearing an IDF uniform.

meet Brian Mast, Republican Representative from the great state of Floriduh. he’s not an Israeli. he’s never been a member of the Israeli military. he’s not even Jewish.

Brian’s a Christian from Grand Rapids, Michigan. he is a US military veteran, but the closest that he’s come to the IDF is the twelve days he spent as a non-combat volunteer, packing medical supplies.

but lately he’s been showing up in Congress in full Israeli military garb. you see, Brian is making a point — and that point is: I’m a performative-nonsense nitwit who loves doing cheap political stunts in order to get my face on TV.

what is it about House Republicans and their love of dressing up like fucking clowns?

• Jeff Tiedrich

Instead of doing my usual “This week in Stupid,” which has been feeling a bit stale of late, I still feel like focusing my ire on Stupid, but in a slightly different way. I want to focus on Republican Stupid, which, I have to admit, is far easier to find than one might think. It’s like picking pepperoni slices off of a pizza; before too long, you wonder if focusing on the pepperoni was such a good idea.

Before you know it, everything starts to taste like pepperoni.

I could have called this “Another Week of Silly, Performative Dipshittery,” but that seems cruel, although not inaccurate. Whatever title one might give it, there’s a recurring theme here: Republicans are not fit to govern, and they prove it daily.

On Sunday, GOP Presidential candidate Nikki Haley tried to blame President Joe Biden for the epic GOP dysfunction in the House. CNN’s Jake Tapper was having none of her bullshit:

But, seriously, folks, isn’t EVERYTHING that happens in Washington Joe Biden’s fault??

Sadly, Haley isn’t smart enough to develop a convincing argument…or at least one that would make Tapper think for a nanosecond.

And then there’s the video I eagerly await every week, and which never ceases to impress me as a stroke of cinematic brilliance:

Ah, yes, Republican self-parody at its finest….

You may or may not remember an American Taliban pastor named Robert Henderson. Pastor Henderson (a deeply committed member of the Cult of Trump) was so committed to The Former Guy (he proclaimed that anyone who opposed Trump was “fighting with God”) that he insisted The Former Guy “should never be criticized.”

Well, now there’s a new sheriff in town, and Quelle surprise, his insistence that the President “should never be criticized” is…somewhat less iron-clad.

Obviously, now that Trump is no longer president, Henderson no longer believes that whoever “sits in the seat of the president of the United States of America … should never be spoken evil of, he should never be criticized” because when he appeared on “The Jim Bakker Show” today, he did not hesitate to criticize President Joe Biden.

Interesting, isn’t it? Joe Biden is more of a Christian than The Former Guy was or could ever be. Yet Pastor Henderson believes President Biden, who has the honesty, integrity, and strength of character The Former Guy could never hope to approach, is an evil and wicked man. WTF?

Because he’s- GASP!!!- a Democrat??

“This is what I do know,” Henderson said. “All the Biden administration is doing, everything that they’re seeking to accomplish, it is all designed to weaken America. They’re either the most ignorant people that’s ever been in power, or they have an agenda to bring America down. That is what’s going on because the ultimate agenda is to bring a one-world government into place. That’s what they want to do.”

“You can never have a one-world government when you have a strong America,” Henderson continued. “You can’t have a one-world government and an Antichrist arise and all that as long as there is a strong America. So I personally believe that everything that they’re doing is designed to sabotage our success and to bring us down and to make us as weak as we possibly can.”

Hypocrite much?

Once upon a time, Pastor Henderson believed that The Former Guy was a God-King and NONE of us had the right to voice our opinions:

In 2020, Henderson warned that those who “[think] that we have a right to our opinion” were bringing “a curse on our nation” by daring to criticize the president, but apparently that no longer applies now that Biden holds that office.

If Robert Henderson is a man of God, I’m Randy Rainbow.

Oh, and let’s not forget that October is Gay Recruitment Month, y’all!! Here we are, halfway through the month, and we’ve barely had time to celebrate.

Let’s also not forget that recruiting quotas are up 20% from last year, so even though y’all are getting a late start, that’s no excuse for not hitting your numbers, ‘kay?

Remember, hit your goal by the end of October, and it’s rainbow kitten surprises for everyone!!!!

While the world's attention has been drawn to the spectacle of the The Mideast Road to WWIII, here at home the wholesale recruitment of America's children into the LGBT sex cult has again picked up speed. This is the true priority of the "progressive" movement. They really don't much care about the adults so long as they can hoodwink enough of them to keep their "election" results plausible enough to stay in power. Who they really want are the kids for all the obvious reasons, and "Gay History Month" is the cornerstone of their recruitment strategy.

Unlike Gay Pride Month, which is an annual, inescapable shock-and-awe propaganda campaign to convince Americans that resistance to LGBT cultural supremacy is futile, Gay History Month is much more subdued and stealthy – advertised mostly in loyal leftist venues to rally the groomer foot-soldiers, but downplayed in most of the "mainstream" media. Nearly all of the Gay History Month recruitment efforts are done behind the schoolhouse doors by a decades-old national network of LGBT activists called GLSEN, which was vastly enlarged and upgraded by Obama's "Safe School's Czar," Kevin Jennings, before he was forced out of the Obama administration (by public outrage) for his defense of pederasty (man/boy sex).

Ah, they make it sound so awful, don’t they??

Not to worry, though. Recruiting is SO much more manageable when LGBTQ propaganda is spread year-round at schools from coast to coast. But for you hard-core White Conservative Christian cisgender heterosexual males, here’s something to help keep morale up:

Yes, it’s NON-STOP INDOCTRINATION!! Schools are so determined to turn kids gay that schools from Key West to Seattle and Bangor to San Diego participate in the drive to spread rainbow propaganda.

Not everybody’s happy with it, but it’s primarily old Fox News viewers, knowhutimean?

Are you sick of your children (or grandchildren) being subjected to incessant, inaccurate and dangerous messages enlisting their support for – or worse, their involvement in – homosexuality or gender deviance? And often now, this indoctrination will be interwoven with racism lessons, as if sexual immorality is similar.

Many schools allow or even celebrate these reckless, inaccurate messages on certain days and weeks during the academic calendar. Your children in class will usually have no choice except to endure rainbow posters, library displays, cafeteria tables, special speakers/ assemblies, classroom lessons and school announcements promoting the following events.

Of course, you’re probably sick of being subjected to incessant, inaccurate, and dangerous messages. In that case, Floriduh Gov. Ron DeSatan never fails to tell us what he’ll do if elected President. Right now, his taking the Oath of Office on 1.20.25 looks about as likely as him waking up next to this:

Of course, he’s married…but so were Gary Hart and John Edwards.

I suppose Gov. DeSatan believes he’d do much better keeping us safe. And he’ll do this by keeping out all the Muslims.

“I don’t know what Biden’s going to do, but we cannot accept people from Gaza into this country as refugees,” DeSantis said. “I am not going to do that. If you look at how they behave, not all of them are Hamas, but they are all antisemitic. None of them believe in Israel’s right to exist. None of the Arab states are willing to take, you know, any of them. The Arab states should be taking them if you have refugees — you don’t fly people and import them into the United States of America.”

Yep…I feel safer already.

But, if you want to feel unsafe and break away from politics altogether, I’ll finish with this story about how you can try to kill yourself with peppers.

Remember when the habañero pepper was the hottest pepper known to humanity? Well, it’s still pretty damned hot, but it’s child’s play compared to what’s available now.

FORT MILL, S.C. (AP) — Ed Currie, the South Carolina hot pepper expert who crossbred and grew the Carolina Reaper that’s hotter than most pepper sprays police use to subdue unruly criminals, has broken his own world record with a pepper that’s three times hotter.

Pepper X was publicly named the hottest pepper in the world on Oct. 9 by the Guinness Book of World Records, beating out the Reaper in Currie’s decadelong hunt to perfect a pepper that he says provides “immediate, brutal heat.”

This is just, at least as far as I’m concerned, entirely f*****g nuts. Why anyone would subject themselves to this is beyond me.

“I was feeling the heat for three-and-a-half hours. Then the cramps came,” said Currie, one of only five people so far to eat a entire Pepper X. “Those cramps are horrible. I was laid out flat on a marble wall for approximately an hour in the rain, groaning in pain.”

Heat in peppers is measured in Scoville Heat Units. Zero is bland, and a regular jalapeno pepper registers about 5,000 units. A habanero, the record-holder about 25 years ago, typically tops 100,000. The Guinness Book of World Records lists the Carolina Reaper at 1.64 million units.

Pepper X’s record is an average of 2.69 million units. By comparison, pepper spray commonly holstered by police is around 1.6 million units. Bear spray advertises at 2.2 million units.

Bear spray? Yeah, that’s what the Proud Boys sprayed Antifa protestors with when they drove through downtown Portland. It’s also what they used during the January 6th insurrection. If you want to disable someone, fire a load of bear spray in their face. That should keep them occupied and in pain for a while.

So, what have we learned today? Considering that we started with a Republican Congressman pretending to be an Israeli paratrooper, continued through a hypocritical American Taliban preacher, epic boobs, and ended up discussing hot peppers and bear spray, probably not much. That’s OK, though; this isn’t a master’s class, and there won’t be a pop quiz.

I bet you’ll remember the epic boobs, though. What red-blooded White Conservative Christian cisgender heterosexual male wouldn’t?

Stay lubricated, America!!

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