Republicans Surging? Somebody Overdid Their Viagra Again!
The GOP wants to screw America again
If not for laughter this election cycle, some of us would be bawling our eyes out. What with truly, deeply shitty Republican candidates, lies, propaganda, and Democrats who couldn’t figure out how to sneak a curveball past an inept A-ball shortstop hitting .137. Yes, this election season has been pathetic. You’ve got election deniers, Trump-humpers, Republicans who are dumber than a box of Marjorie Trailer Greene’s hair, and candidates who shouldn’t be allowed to run a Dairy Queen in Rugby, ND.
And let’s not forget football players who’ve taken too many blows to the head, January 6th insurrectionists, QAnon freak shows, proud GED holders, and those who believe a woman’s place is on her knees or in the kitchen.
EVERYBODY GETS A TROPHY!!!
The quality of candidates on the Republican side of the divide is awe-inspiring. And not in a good way. From Herschel Walker on down, some of these folks probably wear loafers because they lack the skill and dexterity to tie their shoes. It’s that bad, y’all.
So when Saturday Night Live (SNL) took on this election cycle, they didn’t lack for material with which to work.
And “nothing I say can be incendiary because I say it in TV voice,” added “Lake,” a former local news anchor.
Frankly, “Lake” noted, “I’ve just clicked with many of the wonderful, terrified elderly people here in Arizona, the Florida of the West.”
Quizzed on her lies about a rigged presidential election, Strong angrily snapped: “Can you media types just get over the one thing I’ve made the center of my campaign for months and months? Arizonans want to talk about the issues that affect them, like crime in New York, or crime in Detroit.”
The “most pressing” issue? Drag queen story time at libraries and bookstores: “Men dressed as loud, sassy women introducing children to the joys of reading? Not on my watch!” said the disgusted candidate.
The good news is that Election Day is Tuesday, November 8th. So, only a week away. The bad news is that some of these schittferbrains might get elected. If Republicans somehow manage to take a majority in the House and the Senate, we could be- what’s the word I’m looking for?- completely and utterly gefickt.
I try hard to look at elections optimistically, so I still believe Americans won’t be stupid enough to hand Republicans a majority in both houses. I don’t know if that’s optimism or naivete because one should never underestimate the collective stupidity of the American voting public. After all, they did give us four years of Donald Trump. We also got Madison Cawthorn, Lauren Boebert, Louie Gohmert, Matt Gaetz, and Marjorie Trailer Greene. Put all of them together, and you STILL wouldn’t have a functional IQ or a sense of decency.
We live in a political system in which roughly half of the voting population willingly votes against their own best interests. They believe the 2020 Presidential election was fraudulent (it wasn’t). Some believe Democrats drink the blood of children (they don’t). The conspiracy theories that find fertile ground on the Right are beyond ridiculous, yet too many previously lucid and well-meaning voters swallow them whole and without question.
How do we unite a country when half of it believes in things that are patently ridiculous and provably untrue? The short answer, of course, is that it’s impossible. When half of us live in a reality-based world and the other half in CloudCuckooLand, there’s no longer any commonality, save for the fact we all carry American passports.
It’s tempting to fall back on the “America’s going to Hell in a handbasket” argument, but that old trope has been tossed around for generations. The truth is far more complex and nuanced than that. How can we maintain a healthy and functional democracy when a quarter or more of those eligible to voter traffic in QAnon conspiracy theories? Or when the nation’s #1 cable news channel- Fox News- shades the truth to favor a Far-Right agenda that has little, if anything, to do with objective truth?
I won’t paint Democrats as infallible and the source of all light, heat, and authenticity. We have our problems, as does any organization staffed by human beings. That said, at least the Democratic Party attempts to function in a space devoted to truth and reality. Does it miss the mark now and again? Certainly. But, of course, Democrats don’t call the realm of lies, propaganda, and character assassination home as the GOP does.
Ask a Republican about their plan for the economy or health care and be prepared for the deer in the headlights stare- because they have no plan in either instance. They’re happy to tell you what’s wrong with President Joe Biden’s plans, but they’ll offer no alternatives. That’s because they have none.
And that reality has shown like a beacon whenever Republicans have been in power. They come in with no plan, cannot enact a plan, and then, when they’re voted out, they revert to blaming Democrats. The truth is that Republicans excel as a party of opposition, but they suck at being a ruling party- because ruling means having plans and working to put them into place. Unfortunately, that’s a lot of damned work, far more than most Republicans are willing to do, so they inevitably fail when it’s their turn to govern.
Ultimately, this election is about what kind of America we want. Are we to collectively be a kind, compassionate, and caring country that still cares about those who are suffering? Or do we degrade into a fearful, bitter, and provincial aggregation marinating in a toxic stew of racism, anger, cruelty, and revolting Trumpism?
It’s your choice, America. So what’s it going to be?
Nicely put. I'm afraid we may be screwed, though. People don't think things through, or inform themselves beyond the crap the GOP spews.
The plan they use is like an old KGB book:
1. Invent a BAD SITUATION
2. Blame someone else for it
3. Claim only you can fix it
4. Wash, rinse, repeat to build so much anxiety that rational thought is not possible, and fight/flight reflexes take over.