"Satan's Controlling The Church" And Other Reasons to Send MTG Lots and Lots of Money
Today's "Great Adventures in Uses For Thorazine"
OK, so I’m back home from my vacation in South Carolina. Still, I can’t resist taking (yet another) shot at a Southern politician who should be under professional care and heavily medicated. Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene (R-GA) has established herself as this Congress’ reincarnation of Michele Bachman, the former Congressman, itinerant baby farmer, and Chosen One from Minnesota.
We’ve all heard the stories about Jewish space lasers and all the other off-kilter crap MTG has spewed during her short but bat-shit crazy tenure in Congress. So off-the-charts ignorant is she that she shares the (dis)honor of America’s Stupidest Congresswoman with Rep. Lauren Boebert (R-CO)…and it’s been a race straight to the bottom.
In less than two years, MTG has ranted about “Marshall law” and many other close-but-not-quite-real things that have established her as someone who can’t be bothered to do her homework. Yet, despite this, she thinks of herself as one of Congress’s brighter lights. So yes, the Dunning-Kruger Effect is strong in this one- as is an utter lack of self-awareness.
Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene recently sat down for an interview with far-right Catholic activist Michael Voris of Church Militant, where she declared that Christian organizations that are working to resettle undocumented immigrants and refugees in the United States are under the control of Satan.
“I thought we had a separation of church and state,” Greene sighed after Voris complained about Catholic Relief Services and other Christian organizations receiving federal funds to assist in resettlement efforts.
“What it is, is Satan’s controlling the church,” Greene declared. “The church is not doing its job, and it’s not adhering to the teachings of Christ, and it’s not adhering to what the word of God says we’re supposed to do and how we’re supposed to live.”
“We are supposed to love one another, but their definition of what love one another means, means destroying our laws,” she continued. “It means completely perverting what our Constitution says. It means taking unreal advantage of the American taxpayer. And it means pushing a globalist policy on the American people and forcing America to become something that we are not supposed to be.”
Interestingly, MTG advocates for the same separation of Church and State, for which she generally has no use. Now she’s upset that Catholic Relief Services and other faith-based relief services are using federal dollars to do work based on compassion and caring. And we all know how the Far-Right feels about understanding, caring, tolerance, and acceptance.
DAMNED LIBRULS!!! Their Jesus spits on our laws!!!
"What they're doing by saying, 'Oh, we have to love these people and take care of these migrants and love one another, this is loving one another,'" she said, folding her hands in mock prayer and adopting a high-pitched voice. "Yes, we are supposed to love one another, but their definition of what love one another means, means destroying our laws. It means completely perverting what our Constitution says. It means taking unreal advantage of the American taxpayer. And it means pushing a globalist policy on the American people and forcing America to become something that we are not supposed to be.”….
She then went on to suggest that the moral thing for America to do would be to cut foreign aid to the migrants' home countries. As the Bible says, thou shalt love thy neighbor by further impoverishing him, so that he will see to it that none shall leave his house in times of violence and war.
Anyway, the oleaginous Margarine is sure that if the Catholics would quite pedophiling, they would realize that Jesus really stood for border walls and keeping migrants out.
“The bishops of Catholic Relief Charities and Services, they should be all in support of that,” she went on. “If the bishops were reading the Bible and truly preaching the word of God to their flock and not covering up child sex abuse and pedophilia, loving one another would have the true meaning and not the perversion and the twisted lie that they’re making it to be.”
Right. If them evil Catholics would just quit their pedophiling and start obeying the law, we wouldn’t be buried in illegal aliens. Maybe we could even use those Jewish space lasers to help reinforce Donald Trump’s glorious border wall- you know, the one Sleepy Joe refuses to build because of his open border policy?
Whether you believe it or not, MTG is a better patriot than you, and she’s just called out the Catholic Church for its corruption, pedophilia, and addiction to gambling on dog shows…or something like that. Yes, ‘tis time for the Vatican to clean house or find itself cleaned out.
Then again, I’m not sure I’d want a two-bit hypocrite like MTG lecturing me on the true meaning of Christianity. She’s the same person who was active in the run-up to January 6th and then couldn’t recall a thing on the stand in Atlanta at her recent hearing to determine if she should be allowed to run for re-election. Even a third-grader who barely grasps the 14th Amendment would understand that she took part in an attempt to overthrow the government. According to the 14th Amendment and Georgia law, that disqualifies her from holding office.
For her to sit for an interview and hold forth as holier-than-thou and pass judgment on Catholic Relief Services and other faith-based relief agencies is comical at best and astonishingly hypocritical at worst. But then again, hypocrisy is what MTG runs on; it’s her lifeblood.
Her hypocritical rant even prompted a response from my favorite Catholic despot, Bill Donohue:
OMG, I sure do love me a good Twitter war….
I’d love to arm Donohue and MTG with shillelaghs and lock them in a hot yoga room for an afternoon. I think the world would be a far better place without them. They’re both self-aggrandizing hypocrites who are as much about the teachings of Jesus Christ as I am a Nobel Literature Prize winner. Their war of words is just so much worthless verbal vomit.
And people wonder why I’m an atheist. Their flavors of God are worthless bastardizations they employ to inflate their own egos and personal power.
Of course, if you admire their Twitter pas de deux for its artistry and comedy relief value, it's all sorts of fun. MTG calls Donohue “corrupt,” and a “monster” who (allegedly) protects pedophiles. Donohue fires back by referring to MTG as a “poopy head” and a “shameless slut” who got to where she is “on her back with her legs in the air.”
Eww, thanks. Now I get to spend the rest of the day trying to purge my brain of that image.
Of course, Donohue didn’t say that, but my made-up contribution from him matches the quality of their dialogue. She is a “poopy head,” and the rest of it…well, let’s just say it’s not difficult to imagine, knowhutimean??
You know where she didn't post this screed?
To her official congressional page, where the last press releases are dated March 8, 2022, and December 16, 2021. But she's had infinite time to appear with Steve Bannon, Michael Voris, and every other right wing shit stirrer on the internet. So maybe the last person on earth who needs to be lecturing anyone on doing their actual job is this person who got kicked off her committees and spends all her time doing crossfit and hanging around with insurrectionists.
Of course, she didn’t post this silliness to her official Congressional page. Instead, she wants her north Georgia constituents- those who can read and don’t drag their knuckles- to believe she’s doing Congress-y things. Like trying to overthrow the government and make America safe from Freemasons, the Trilateral Commission, and George Soros and his One World government. Oh, and yelling at Sleepy Joe Biden whenever they get the opportunity is what REAL American patriots do.
That’s what happens when you elect a smug, ignorant, and shameless political hack consumed from head to toe by the Dunning-Kruger Effect.
So maybe Satan IS controlling the Catholic Church. I don’t know, and I don’t particularly care because I don’t believe in either one. What I do think is that there’s no cause or reason for MTG to think she’s America’s moral/theological barometer. That’s all sort of f****d up.
I want to see more of the MTG-Bill Donohue Twitter war. That would be a great way to waste some precious time on a Monday, don’tchathink??
Dumb and Dumberer debating how many angels can fit on the head of a pin- the only question would be how long I could take it before my head explodes.
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