'Scuse Me While I Kiss This Guy

Engrish 101- Me Love You Long Time

What happens when you get speakers for whom English isn’t their native language trying to tackle complex sentences? Yep, you get Engrish, that hilarious mash-up of proper English usage and, well, something unrecognizable as conventional human speech.

Me love you long time….

To be fair, I shouldn’t make fun of people who are at least making a legitimate effort to communicate in a language with which they’re not familiar or conversant. Lord knows I’ve been on that end during my travels, and I can’t even speculate how many jokes have deservedly had me at the center.

Have you ever tried to order a meal in Albanian? I have, and I’m here to tell you it’s not easy. I’ve tried to communicate in Croatia by realizing that I can’t speak Croatian and my interlocutor couldn’t speak English. So we compromised on what little schoolboy German I remembered and he knew (Austria was practically next door). Fortunately, I ended up with the cheese, bread, and meat I wanted- and not a Pomeranian and an AR-15.

That would’ve been awkward.

One of the things I love about traveling in foreign countries is the effort locals make to create signage that communicates with English-speaking travelers in their native tongue. Of course, when you don’t speak much English, there’s no guarantee that any signage will make sense- but the entertainment value is often through the roof.

Sometimes, though, the worst offenders ARE native English speakers with, at best, a tenuous grip on their native tongue.. We’re not talking about people who graduated summa cum laude, which is simultaneously sad and entertaining. Then again, if you’re a native English speaker, and the best you can do is communicate in Engrish, you probably deserve whatever ridicule is directed your way.

Thank you for taking the time to read this. If you enjoyed it, I hope you’ll take a few moments and investigate a paid subscription. While you’re at it, why not help me spread the world by forwarding this to a few like-minded friends who might also enjoy it!! You can also donate via Venmo (@Jack-Cluth).